Little Secret Underneath That Lovely Tiny Skirt

When it comes to dating a guy, who could be an expert on that? Who can raise one's hand up and say, “ I’m the one. I’m the one who can do it all. Dating men is what I was born to do and relationships are something I can actually conquer”.

No one, I guess. So far, I haven’t met anyone who can actually admit that they can deal with men and relationship without any problems or any road bumps. No one who can admit that they never failed in dating or never fought or argued in a relationship. So the truth is, most of us women always struggle when it comes to men and dating.

First off, we have to put ourselves out there in the big market waiting for someone to notice and ask us out on a date. Then comes the second step which I call “Skin Detox”. Men will rarely care much about us on the first date. I'm not calling them shallow, but what they want to see, primarily, is our physical appearance. First date is as much fun as prom night. We plan it ahead on what we are going to wear or how our hair will look like. All the tiny details that can put us together and make us look our best. What's even better is that no parent (especially our daddies) is present standing by the door making sure we will be safe and we behave ourselves.

Why all this hard work? Because no man would want to have a first date with a woman who is wearing big loose jeans with grandma t-shirt that were just gifts to you and that does nothing but make you look like a walking carpet. So what you do, is whisk out the credit card to buy the best Chanel dress you can afford. And underneath that slinky dress is a magical body that has been prepared to be touched.

Some will say, “No way, I’m not going to have sex with him on a first date.” But, really? Do you really think you would still be able to control yourself after 3 glasses of martini? You will never know. You may not be prepared for his skills of hitting on a woman even though, for sure, he is so good looking or else you will never be there on a date in the first place.

There are so many ways to a successful first date but when it comes to MY OWN first date, there are things that I normally DO or DON’T

- Always make sure that the clothes you put on is something you are totally comfortable with. I'd rather put on a dress that I’ve worn before and get good compliments from people instead of something new that maybe, you think, looks nice on you but other people finds hideous

- Try to show a bit of skin, most men would rather have their women sexy instead of looking like a kindergarten teacher

- I always choose to drink something that I like and familiar with. Ordering a Cosmopolitan can be classy but you don’t want to find yourself drunk and losing control.

- Never talk serious. Men love to have a good time and rarely would they talk serious on their date while the whole idea is to have fun. You don’t want to tell him about your gay brother or your mom who’s totally conservative.

- Always bring sex into the conversation. You don’t have to tell him what position you like in bed but mention little details like how much you love to kiss or how open-minded you are and sometimes you don’t mind trying new things. Trust me… all men love that.

- Never ever talk about your ex. Men hate being compared with others especially if it will only hurt their egos.

- Try to be forward. Sooner or later there will be no secrets. If you plan to date this guy or you really like him, straightforward conversations can be useful. You don’t like bad surprises, and so do men.

- Always have an emergency exit. If you sense that the date isn’t going very well, make sure you will be able to pull some plans to leave him without embarrassing yourself or him. Maybe you will never meet him again, but you don’t have to leave or say goodbye with a bad impression.

- Always be you. Relationships take 2 to tango. But if you don't love yourself and aren't truthful to yourself, then how the hell can you love somebody else.

I am not in a relationship right now as I chose not to be. But when it comes to dating for fun, I can pull it off. If a ladyboy like me can do it, you can do it. Because there’s a magical box called Pandora and it’s hiding underneath that tiny skirt and it’s more powerful beyond understanding. Use it wisely…. And don’t fuck up. 

What Your Online Dating Site Is Not Telling You

So here's the thing. You don't seem to understand why other people who have online dating profiles are way ahead if you in leaps and bounds when it comes to success in finding a partner. One is already engaged while another is getting married to his online boyfriend of 2 years. You're still stuck with receiving email alerts of someone who viewed your profile but never communicated with you (except for the 57-year-old Harry Highpants who wants to take you out for dinner). Your next door neighbor has already gone out on 3 dates although she just signed up for an online dating site a few weeks after you did. And you look way hotter than that mousy-faced neighbor of yours. You have perused every article you found on the web about how to write an online profile or pick a profile photo but to no avail.

So what is wrong with you? Actually, there is none. But your choice of dating site could be. Here is a treasure trove of information to help you out in your quest for the online partner of your dreams. Thanks to statistical information from Quancast, we were able to reveal these secrets of the online dating world.

This used to be a well-kept secret amongst online dating experts, much like knowing where to buy a Class A bootleg Hermes bag – in stores that sell babies' clothes upfront but has a dark passageway at the back to a secret cave of almost-authentic designer bags. We were planning to sell these secrets to the Chinese black market but our good hearts and conscience took the best of us and thus this article.

Where All The Ladies (And Men) At

Isn't it frustrating sometimes when the men and women in a dating site are so few and there's not enough match opportunities for everybody? This even increases the number of competition for you. Imagine being overlooked or ignored just because there's a lot more prettier women around your photo in a search result. The same is true for men. You just can't compete with all those 6-pack abs flooding the search page next to your 500-megawatt-smile photo. Come on! A smile can never compete with a naked torso.

The ideal scenario is when there's only a few of you men or women in a dating site you feel like Casanova or the goddess Venus herself.

Men, all the ladies are at the Horse Lovers Connection! That site has 77% women and only 22% men in its member base. That just diminished the competition for you in a considerable amount. We can't seem to find the data to correlate why more women would sign up for a horse-lovers dating site. Our suspect is, many in the female world are still looking to satisfy their cowboy fantasies. And they signed up in a place where there's not much cowboys!

Women, all the gents are at the Anastasia Web! The site has 79% male and only 21% female population. So what if it's an international bride dating site. You can always choose a screen name that's Russian sounding (anything that ends in A) and practice a Russian-accent English.

We have excluded gay and lesbian dating sites from this category. But for some who would like to know, PlanetSappho has the most women at 77% and Gaydar for most men at 90%. So it's true what they say - most men these days are either ugly, married or gay. Just saying.

Race and Ethnicity

Do you have certain preferences in race? Do you like to imagine what your baby should look like in the future? If you're looking to improve your gene pool in terms of aesthetic value, then this is a must-read for you.

Equestriansingles.com has the most Caucasian members at 97%. AfroRomance has the most African American members at 62%. Asia Friendfinder has the most Asian members at 30%. And be2 has the most Hispanics at 41%

Asian and African American results are kind of expected but in order to get the explanation for the Caucasian and Hispanics data, we will be using an investigative skill known as deduction. Enter Detective Jacques Clouseau.

On Caucasian data:

• Elite colleges are bastions of white upper-middle-class privilege. And with these privilege comes manicured lawns, private golf courses and equestrian riding lessons.

• Marriage is breaking down throughout White America. Therefore, they turn toward the comfort that keeping a horse can give them.

• White working-class men have a strong work ethic. They identify strongly towards the phrase “work like a horse”.

The Hispanics data simply signifies that Hispanics prefer their English short and simple. Complicated and high-falluting English words confuse them. So the dating site be2 appeals to them. It is easy to read and easy to memorize.

Where The Rich Ones Are

Contrary to what you believe, people signing up at sugar daddy dating sites are posers and fakes. Majority of them are not, in reality, earning a six-figures per year. So where are these rich people hiding?

They are all pretending to be normal, middle-class people in more generic sites such as Click&Flirt. This site has the biggest percentage of members with an annual income of $150,000 and above at 49% of its member base. The explanation is pretty simple, really. They pretend as such so as to make sure that men or women will fall in love with them based on their personality and not on their bank accounts.

On the other hand, be wary of signing up for dating sites where there are only losers in it. Case in point, Fubar. It has the highest percentage of $0-50,000 annual income earners at 66% (if you can still call that 'earning'). The site is more like a free social networking site rather than a dating site. Unless, you want to receive your first email from someone who wants to borrow money, I'd steer clear away from this site.

Young vs. Young-at-Heart

60% of members on Blackmatch.com are 24 years old and below, making it the site with the most young people in it. This is because black people are gorgeous men and women and are easily attracted to one another. Marriages in the black community has risen over the years resulting to more black youths than white. 

On the other hand, 36% of members on Horse Lovers Connection are 55 years old and above. This makes it the site that has the most number of young-at-hearts in it. There is always a desire to retire to the countryside because of the blissful calm it offers. What can best complete their country experience but to build a stable and train a horse or two.

Where The Smart Ones Are

If you are into intelligent conversations such as understanding the mechanics of rocket science over dinner, or looking to receive your own nuclear reactor to power the vacuum cleaner someday, then you can find your potential partner at The Right Stuff Dating. It has the highest percentage of members in graduate school at 62%. Called the “Ivy League” of online dating, indeed, it makes you date only the right stuff.

If you're not really looking forward to improve the human gene pool, then Casual Kiss would work just fine for you. 66% of its members are non-bachelor degree holders. Just keep your fingers crossed that the person you'll meet has the makings of Bill Gates or Mark Zuckerberg.

DISCLAIMER: All data and information used in this site is for informational purposes only. This is a personal blog post and opinions expressed here represent those of the author alone. Cupid's Library will not be held liable for any loss, injury, or damages arising from its display or use of its contents.  

eDarling and eHarmony Break Up

German site eDarling and US partner eHarmony are on lover's quarrel. Permanently. It seems that the break up resulted from complications in strategies between both companies.

Since taking up the role [as CEO], [Neil Clark] Warren has led the company to cut its overall workforce from 260 employees one year ago to 160 today. In the last three years, he told the Los Angeles Times in December last year, new memberships, retention rates and time spent on the site were all down.

Read the rest of the article here.

Some says eDarling was far better and more superior than eHarmony. But between the two,  eHarmony has the more efficient compatibility matching method. Which of the two sites do you think would perform better?

Thai Men VS Western Men (And This Has Nothing To Do With SIZE)

People ask me why I was always into Western men. Why I never tried to date Thai or Asian men. It's easy for me to answer that but still, people don't seem to get it. There are many reasons why women fall for a guy. There are also many reasons why Thai women (ladyboys included) would fall for Western guys - their looks, their penis size or even their money. It all depends on the situation, place and time.

For me, I remember having a picture of Jared Leto and all boy bands hanging on my wall when I was a teenager. I don't know when it happened but I think it might have started when I was little. My mom showed me a picture of us traveling down South by train from Chiang Mai. I was 5 years old at that time and I was sitting on a German woman's lap. My mom told me that I really liked Western (Farang) people. I guess it's because of their looks. The pale skin, the beautiful eyes that most of us Thai only have in one color and the language that we might have never heard before.

It's been almost 20 years now that I've dated only Western men and I never regretted it once that I never gave a Thai guy a chance. Here are my reasons why:

*Thai men are less matured than Western men.  

We are not surprised to see an 18 year-old American moving out of the house and living on their own or traveling around in back packs. In the same manner, we are not surprised to see a 35 year-old Thai man living with his parents. Most of them use the reason that in Buddhist culture, we believe that we have to take care of our parents. I have nothing against that but this is also a reason why Thai men will always be clingy towards their parents.  

*Western men are more straight forward.  

You will be surprised to know that, in fact, dating a Thai man will cost you more money than dating a Western man. How? Well, this usually happens after the first date. He will start to text you and you will have to text them back straight away or they will be upset, get weird and be jealous. Here's an example of text messages sent between Thai or Western men and Thai or Western women. Each text message will cost you 3 THB.

The last thing you'll know is, you're actually spending so much money on phone bills rather than your lunch or dinner date.   

*Thai men never admit that they can be wrong.

Thai men are taught to be the leader in relationships and of the family. They will never admit that they are wrong or they made a mistake. At the end of any argument, they will just walk away and make you feel like an idiot. They will never really stand by your side and walk next to you but always be in front.   

*Thai men cheat sooner than Western men.

I always think that a quiet person is so difficult to predict. Most of the time you will realize that not many Thai men love to show their emotions or feelings. You will have a hard time figuring out what they really think. They will never really sit down and have an open conversation with you. It is also the same when they cheat. You will never see it coming. They are good at hiding secrets. Being all sweet, shy and quiet is actually a most dangerous talent that they have.

So yeah... These are some reasons why I prefer Western men. There are more to that but let's not say it all for now. So I'd rather have someone who takes me the way I am - straight forward and independent. Two persons in a relationship should be equal. So I will continue to date Western men and make sure that they are the young ones. Because that's how I will become The Immortal Sarah :)

If you liked this article, then you will enjoy more of Sarah Applebum's dating insights at Thaifriendly.com - Not So Friendly for Ladyboys and All That Glitters Is Not Gold. 

Martha Stewart Tries Online Dating. Again.

“Someone who’s intelligent, established, and curious; and who relishes adventure and new experiences as much as I do. Someone who can teach me new things. A lover of animals, grandchildren, and the outdoors. Young at heart”

That is what Martha Stewart's profile on Match.com says about what she's looking for in a man. Yes, that professional home decorator-slash-media mogul-slash-former prisoner is on Match.com.

Well, apparently she has tried online dating before but she only got as far as the sign up process. This time, she wants you to help her choose which profile picture to choose for her new online dating profile.

Do you want to take part and vote? Then go to http://livingblog.marthastewart.com/2013/04/a-martha-faceoff.html 

Go get Grandpa, he might have a few ideas. 

Unrequited Love

You have photos of him on your phone, you know exactly what kind of films he like, who his team are and how he takes his coffee. You also know you’re his dream woman if he’d wake up and notice you. You know because your stalking has revealed that you have SO much in common.

Unrequited love is a bitch.

When you’re in a relationship, it’s perfectly reasonable to share photos of your loved one, talk about him until your friends want to stab you in the eyes and get annoyed when he talks to other girls. But when you’re not in a relationship, and the guy you’re crazy about is just, say, an instructor at your gym who only thinks of you as a source of revenue, it’s deemed a bit cray-cray to show people your slide show of photos you have of him. That he may not necessarily know you sneakily took on your iPhone.

The problem is, unrequited love can feel every bit as real as proper love (you know, when you’re in a relationship that both of you are aware you’re in). Ok, so you don’t get to enjoy the fun stuff – like sex and dinners and kissing and calling them silly names but, you do get all the agonising bits – the jealousy when they talk to other girls, the wondering where the hell they are and who they’re talking to when they are online on Whatsapp at 3am on a Thursday and the anger and upset when they’re a bit offish with you.

Yes, I know I sound like every guy’s worst nightmare. But, believe me, I am speaking for a lot of girls out there. If we’ve liked you for some time, there is a good chance we have been stalking your every move and getting highly upset about some of your actions. Because, though a guy may believe himself to be single and able to do what he wants, a girl who’s after him may well feel betrayed by his carefree bachelor behaviour. Unrequited love has effects that are quite similar to madness. Full blown insanity.

On a sane level, I know I’m not in a relationship with my instructor. I do.

On an entirely different level – one that has been messed up by the irrational thinking that love and obsession can bring about – I feel as though he’s being a really bad boyfriend sometimes. Like, the other day my friend came to the gym with me. We walked past my instructor and he didn’t acknowledge me. I felt so embarrassed. Probably the same kind of embarrassment as if my boyfriend had blanked me in front of a friend. In reality he was probably a little rude, at worst. But, to my friend and me, he was an arsehole and his behaviour needed analysing. “I think he’s trying to play it cool and get your attention” my friend said. I much prefer this idea than ‘he’s not at all bothered about you and he barely even noticed that you walked by’. Which, let’s face it, is probably the case. I’ve never even uttered a word to him about how I feel.

The funny thing is, when I’m in an actual relationship, I am not a jealous type at all. And I never gave a toss what team my ex supported or how he liked his coffee. There’s just something about a chase – especially one that seems improbable – that brings out your most insecure and unhinged side.

In-Airport Online Dating: The Ultimate Cure to Airport Delay Boredom

Overheard at a restaurant:

Guest: "Where did you guys meet?"

Bride: "At the airport terminal."

Guest: "Oh, that's just destiny!"

Groom: "No, we signed up on MeetAtTheAirport.com."

Okay, I just made that scenario up. But with online dating MeetAtTheAirport.com, it could happen in the future. A real-life Viktor Navorski and Amelia.

With airport furloughs kicking in this week, we suspect that many travelers will be quite delayed and might have some time for a little layover loving.

Members on the website are from countries including the United States, the United Kingdom, Mexico and Germany, so you can even take your conquests international.

Could this be a worthwhile activitty while waiting for a delayed flight? Read on to find out: http://www.gadling.com/2013/04/23/how-to-spend-your-airport-delay-in-airport-online-dating/ 

Being the Other Woman

It’s easy to get on your high horse about other people’s immoral relationships. I did it to my sister when she had an inappropriately close friendship with a married man. I gave her hell about it; told her she was wrecking a marriage and a family and that nothing good would come of it. Everyone knows the guy never leaves their wife. Sure enough, his wife found out and the friendship stopped immediately. He never considered leaving his family for a moment.  

Years later, I find myself in a similar position. I had been dating a guy who I liked but didn’t see any future with. Everyone kept telling me he felt a lot more about me than I did about him. One evening, he stormed off after an argument and I found myself telling a guy sitting at the bar about him. He told me he was also dating someone who liked him more than he liked her and that it would be over soon. It seemed we were in the same situation.

We started seeing each other quite frequently, and the other guy quickly disappeared from my life. The new guy, B, was easy to get along with, spoke about the future a lot, seemed very honest and was very attentive. But the relationship was always on his terms. He’d call me when he wanted to see me, we’d always sleep at my place and he wouldn’t always answer my texts. I didn’t think that much of it (guys are always crappy with calling and texting, after all) until he told me a few weeks later that he’d been seeing his girlfriend for two years. In fact, she’d uprooted her whole life in Europe to come and move in with him in Thailand.

By the time he told me, I’d already started to fall for him. I had it in my head that we could have a future and I was selfish and didn’t want to break up with him. I stupidly thought they were breaking up anyway.

Even when I saw photos on Facebook of him and his girlfriend on holiday together, looking very happy and very much together (we have a friend in common who showed me his page to help put me off him), I didn’t want to break up. I felt sick, but not angry.

Even when I bumped into them together in real life, I didn’t consider breaking up with him. When B saw me, he leaned in to me and said ‘I’m with my girlfriend’, and so I pretended I didn’t know him all night. Not because I was angry, but because I didn’t want to cause a scene. I stayed quiet like a good Other Woman.

We’ve since been caught kissing by his girlfriend’s friend (in the glamorous setting of a bar’s toilet), several of our mutual friends know about us and he sometimes has to answer phone calls from her while we’re lying in bed. I don’t think she knows about us, but I assume she suspects something. The whole thing has gone from being an easy relationship that I thought would go somewhere to being something horribly seedy and stressful. I certainly don’t get any secret thrill from it.

I’ve known him ten months now and, on Valentine’s Day, he spent the day with me and told me he’s actually married to his ‘girlfriend’. By that point, I was numb to it. It actually made very little difference.

My friends (understandably) really dislike him and, despite B’s constant claims that he’ll break up with his wife and his requests that I move down south with him, I don’t really believe him - although I’m quite sure he believes everything he says. I never thought I’d be the other woman, but it’s quite incredible how much you’re willing to overlook when you love someone.

Right now, we’re not together.

I’d been speaking to some friends over a few bottles of wine about how his behaviour would destroy my self-worth and stop me getting a man who’d treat me right (you know, one of those really girlie conversations). Then, I bumped into him that evening. He was glad to see me and I was revved up to give him a piece of my drunken mind. I can’t remember what I said except that he was disrespectful. I haven’t heard from him since then, which says it all (though I’m sure next time his wife is out of town he’ll pick up the phone).

A married man who cheats doesn’t want a whole new set of relationship problems. He wants a little escapism and, if you’re prepared to be a Spring Break version of a girlfriend, you’ll be fine. Want a little more and you’ll suddenly see how little you mean to him.  

Dating While Gaming

If you're the kind of gamer geek who has dating pet peeves, then here's a chance to virtually practice your dating skills. 

Age of Wushu introduces online dating. Together with other new features such as factions and an active weather system, online dating is now available to Chinese servers as of press time.

Small details such as proposing, engagement process, wedding banquet etc are all included, which makes the whole experience more authentic. And of course, choosing the right date for the big occasion!

Partner selection – There will be a NPC to handle choosing of the suitable bride. It is something like the modern dating websites, where details of the players such as hobbies, habits etc can be seen. Players will search via this NPC to find his or her preferred in-game spouse. Female players can indicate they are looking for the suitable groom, while the male players can send confessions through.

Click here for a brief look at how the whole dating thing looks like.

Ashley Madison Offends Queen of Spain

Ashley Madison makes the news again. This time, by offending a Roh-Yal. 

  The online dating site, that encourages extra-marital affairs, sparked outrage in October 2012 by publishing a doctored image of the Queen with her arms draped around a semi-naked man.It appeared alongside a slogan saying, in Spanish: "Now you no longer have to spend the night alone."

How was this resolved? Read here for more.

Anyone wanna see what the photoshopped picture looked like? Hit us in the Comments section below and we'll have you take a peek.