Whether your aim is to exit singlehood, develop friendships, or find a quick romp, Cupid's Library has a carefully curated list of dating categories and sites for your online dating needs. Falling for a wrong matchmaker may not be as painful as falling for the wrong match, but you can avoid both. Through Cupid's Library's list of comprehensive dating categories and site reviews, you can end your dating drought by signing up only for the right site and paying for the subscription plans that suit your requirements.

Top Ranked Dating Sites

Website URL Rating
1. Match.com http://www.match.com
2. Meet Locals http://www.meetlocals.com
3. AsianDating.com http://www.asiandating.com
4. Fitness Singles http://www.fitness-singles.com
5. Wealthymen.com http://www.wealthymen.com
6. Dating For Seniors http://www.datingforseniors.com
7. Video Game Dating http://www.videogamedating.net
8. BBW Romance http://www.bbwromance.com
9. Farmers Dating Site http://www.farmersdatingsite.com
10. Atheist Personals http://www.atheistpersonals.net

Interview with A Top Tier Dating Coach: Marina Lavochin



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by Vic Corts | midnight | June 24th 2016

If we are asked what the most important thing in life is, dating and relationships are going to be the answer for so many people. It is human nature to seek relationships with others. Some may do it for fun and some do it to create a new life.

There are not many people in the world who can give better dating advice than top tier dating coaches. They are professionals possessing masterful skill in dating and flirting with all types of people. Not just that, they are best at interpersonal skills as well as philosophy and sociology.

Because of their knowledge, these dating coaches are well-known for bringing a successful dating life to their clients. As promised in our last interview with Kezia Noble, our dating coach for today's interview is Marina Lavochin, a dating coach from Seattle with the concept of Alter Ego. Marina has been successfully helping her clients to get relationship result they want by providing a different perspective and detailed tips and tricks based on her personal life experiences.

Let's hear what she has to say about the life of a dating coach.

What life experience made you decide that you would like to be a dating coach?

Hmm, which specific life experience made me get into this? I'm not sure there's just one. I've always been good at problem solving and giving blunt advice, so combining that with my own experiences in the dating world seemed like a logical move. I also love helping people, however I'm able to. Seeing how my tips and advice helped my guy friends with their own confidence and understand women better inspired me to help as many great guys out there as possible.

marina lavochin

What was your dating life like before you became a dating coach?

I was in a serious relationship, actually was engaged and called off a wedding a few months before starting dating coaching. The relationship was a very challenging one and it was affecting me in a lot of ways. I lost my confidence, started becoming more and more consumed with the relationship and wanted to understand what was going on with myself and us as a couple. I started reading a lot of books about relationships, psychology, etc. After discovering the book "Attached" I understood so much about myself and my ex, how our attachment styles were clashing and how we spoke completely different love languages. The relationship fell apart but I became almost obsessed with studying more about the topic and my desire to help others awoke.

How does being a dating coach affect your own love life? Do you apply the same rules and matching techniques to your own dating habits?

Haha, I knew this question was gonna be on the list! I'm pretty open about my own life and journey, so I'm comfortable sharing this. I use my own stories, experiences and examples with clients all the time and sometimes even blog about my personal love life when I feel gutsy enough.

I own love life is definitely affected - it sucks most of the time, to be completely honest. Dating was super hard for me because guys got intimidated instantly when learning about my profession. Jealousy also comes into play because of how much time I spend with single guys, usually on weekends and evenings. I'm lucky to have found a guy who's confident enough to handle my job and understands my passion and need to help others in my own way.

We still have to work through a lot of the normal things most couples have to, but he gets the bonus of having me try to tell him what to do all the time ????. And no, I definitely didn't follow my own rules to a t when it came to the first date. When your boundaries are healthy those "rules" can pretty much go out the window. I don't personally need to just have a 20 min first date or stay away from certain topics. Our first date was probably 7 or 8 hours long and we spilled all of our crap, ex's, worst habits, everything. It was pretty funny. We pretty much just said "this is me, the good the bad, the ugly - still want to do this?"

What is the most important thing when giving relationship advice to your client?

Marina Lavochin talking to her clientEvery client is different and the advice has to be specific to their own situation and whatever they're dealing with. We're all just humans with different lessons we need to learn, with different preferences and wants/needs. Advice has to incorporate all of those factors.

What is the most asked question from your client? And why?

"What's wrong with women???" Just kidding. I'm not sure if there's just one question that comes up over and over. I'd say it's specific to the women they messaged or texted and wondering why someone didn't reply or vanished. Rejection sucks and we all want to understand why.

Do you have some requirements for your clients?

Yes. I only take on clients who are genuine and good guys inside. I'd never work with someone who just wants to become a player and pick up chicks to boost his ego. I'm very selective when it comes to saying yes to a client.

The guys also have to be successful in other areas of their life. Most of my clients have great careers and have great friendships, ability to create structure in their lives and are responsible adults. I'm not qualified to offer coaching to someone who's hopeless, irresponsible, or doesn't have passion or direction in life. Those successes in other areas of their life are necessary in order for my coaching to be productive.

Is there a universal strategy that works for all dating advices?

Yes and no. Yes, because it's just someone's personal journey and the strategy of:

  • Get confident
  • Go on lots of dates to get practice and feel desirable while learning what you like and need in a relationship

And No, because every person will have different things they need to overcome through that process. Some will have a hold up about their appearance, or their living situation, or their upbringing, or past history.

Others will have a fear of intimacy and being vulnerable with someone. Every person has their own bag of shit that's been collected through their entire life and how I help is by identifying it as just that, shit. Bullshit belief that won't go away until awareness is brought to it and experiences are created to prove it wrong.

Is there a specific trait that prevents someone from having a successful relationship?

This is a hard one. I'd say being stubborn is probably the one I'd pick. Someone who's very stuck in their own ways and not open to seeing things in a different light, from a different perspective. Relationships aren't about winning. They're about understanding, support, and growing together.

How have apps such as Tinder and online dating sites changed the way of dating?

Marina Lavochin on her matchmaking serviceThey've made it much easier to meet singles and pre-qualify people a little better. I think they're awesome if you know what you're doing.

The other result is people's lack of investment into getting to know someone. Having so many options and knowing that you can get 5 other dates lined up in a matter of minutes prevents a lot of people from truly connecting. A couple may go on a date and someone may not be in the best mood or maybe the conversation wasn't as exciting as it could have been, and people give up. We expect fireworks and shooting stars in order to give someone another chance, which prevents relationships from forming.

If there’s one piece of advice you’d have for singles who are looking for a partner, what would it be?

I get asked this all the time .

MALES - This is directed to Single, available men who want a relationship: Take Charge!

Get confident with your appearance, master your body language, learn to be in control of situations by being intentional and leading, and stop asking so many questions. Just share your wants, desires, goals, and start leading it there. If the girl isn't into it, she'll tell you. If she is, she'll be along for the ride. Asking only creates delays, confusion, and wastes precious time that you could be spending actually living those dream moments you want.

FEMALES - again, this is directed to Single, available females who want a relationship: Be More Feminine!

I usually get eaten alive when I summarize it like that and tell women to be more girly, but it's all about understanding feminine energy and masculine energy. I struggle with this one myself and have to constantly remind myself to let go of needing to feel in control and manage everything while allowing and encouraging the man to be in charge.

It's about acknowledging their strengths, their need to have a purpose and a destination, and us being the ones who either say Yes, I want that to be my lifestyle and I am passionate about supporting this man's goals and live out his purpose or No, this guy is not the one for me. I don't want to lead the relationship, constantly nag about unmet needs, always suggest what he should do and point out things he's doing wrong while not respecting and trusting him enough to be in charge of the big picture. It's our role as women to choose. We can offer encouragement and add to the relationship a lot but we shouldn't choose men whom we don't trust enough allowing us to sit back knowing that we're on the right track.

Our dating coach interview does not end here. Check back our blog next week and read the dating and relationship advice from the Deni Abbie, a dating coach and a hypnotherapist with “Positive Suggestion Techniques” from Dallas.

Interview with A Top Tier Dating Coach: Kezia Noble



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by Vic Corts | 10:42 a.m. | June 9th 2016

If we are asked what the most important thing in life is, dating and relationships are going to be the answer for so many people. It is human nature to seek relationships with others. Some may do it for fun and some do it to create a new life.

There are not many people in the world who can give better dating advice than top tier dating coaches. They are professionals possessing masterful skill in dating and flirting with all types of people. Not just that, they are best at interpersonal skills as well as philosophy and sociology.

Because of their knowledge, these dating coaches are well-known for bringing a successful dating life to their clients. As promised in our last interview with Hunt Ethridge, our dating coach for today's interview is Kezia Noble. She is a leading dating and attraction expert for men, and author of the bestselling book ‘The Noble Art Of Seducing Women’. As a founder and CEO of Kezia Noble (http://www.kezia-noble.com/), Kezia has helped over ONE MILLION men to become more successful with women.

Let's hear what she has to say about the life of a dating coach.

What life experience made you decide that you would like to be a dating coach?

Kezia Noble, a Famous Dating Coach from UKMy interest in social dynamics, mind management, confidence building and self-marketing are the main reasons for why I felt the role of a dating and attraction expert was the right for me, but also, I believe that my no-nonsense, direct and fiercely honest nature are facets of my character that lend well to giving advice to people who want REAL results as opposed to people who just want to hear ‘sugar coated encouragement that only serve to massage their egos.

What was your dating life like before you became a dating coach?

I dated a variety of men. From young to old. From poor to rich. From clowns to intellectuals. It’s this variety that essentially makes me a good attraction coach. I don’t pay too much attention on ‘types’. My prime focus is on ‘game’ which can transcend through any ‘specific types’. These days I’m far more aware when someone is nervous, when someone has inner confidence rather than a fake brashness. I’ve become more alert to the telltale signs compared to before I become a dating expert.

How does being a dating coach affect your own love life? Do you apply the same rules and matching techniques to your own dating habits?

I certainly do apply my own advice to my dating life. It’s extremely difficult to resist the temptation to text a guy I like straight back, or to put someone I desire in cold storage, but I know these kinds of tactics, as infantile as they may at first seem, really do produce strong results. Being a mother of a small child, it makes the dating game even more tricky, but I’m having fun experimenting with this particular situation.

What is the most important thing when giving relationship advice to your client?

I always tell my clients that they need to keep focusing time and energy on things going on outside of the relationship. We love the idea of being the prime focus of someone’s attention but in reality it can be extremely overwhelming, and dare I say it, a little needy. You always need to keep up with your hobbies, interests and social life. Otherwise, your partner could become a little complacent and bored. Always remember what it was that made them attracted to you in the first place too.

What is the most asked question from your client? And why?

Interview with Kezia NobleHow do I stop getting friend zoned? This is the result of two very common sticking points, which are coming across as too much of a Mr Nice Guy and not being able to flirt or sexually escalate the interaction/relationship. Staying in the Friend-zone is a frustrating experience but many people subconsciously choose it because it’s also a safe zone.

Do you have some requirements for your clients?

Only that they do as they're told, if they start mixing my advice with friends advice then the process will take a lot longer, and conflicting opinions can confuse my clients and result in them giving up all together.

Is there a universal strategy that works for all dating advices?

Yes, a man or woman must first make sure the person they like respects them. Without respect there can’t be any real attraction.

Is there a specific trait that prevents someone from having a successful relation?

Yes, it’s not having the confidence or ‘know how’ to escalate the relationship into the direction they wish it to go. Whether that means making bold first move to actually approach someone in the first place or taking incremental steps within the interaction to take it to the next phase.

How have apps such as Tinder and online dating sites changed the way of dating?

It has affected peoples social skills quite a lot. People spend a great deal of time on perfecting their profiles and messages in order to convey cool, confident and charismatic personas, and believe that 80% of the job is getting the other person to agree to meet. In actual fact, that’s probably the easiest part! The hard part is being consistent with that online persona when you both meet in real life.

If there’s one piece of advice you’d have for singles who are looking for a partner, what would it be?

Make dating just an extra part of your life rather than your entire life. People can pick up on desperation from miles away. No one wants to be with the person who is obsessed on finding ‘the one’. We want someone who has an active social life, interests, hobbies and passions and a contentment that is not ultimately governed or determined by whether they find someone or not. Now that’s attractive!

We would like to end an interview with Kezia's dating advice video on YouTube that is currently having over 5 million views "how to make her want you".

Our dating coach interview does not end here. Check back our blog next week and read the dating and relationship advice from the Seattle dating coach with Alter Ego concept, Marina Lavochin.

7 Books that Tremendously Improve Your Dating Skills



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by Vic Corts | 9 p.m. | June 2nd 2016

Every individual has been attracted or will be attracted to someone at a certain point in life. Being social animals, the urge to seek out a partner more often than not expresses itself once a person becomes an adolescent. Despite the fact that attraction comes naturally many people experience a challenge expressing their feelings and desires towards their intended partners. As a result, acquiring the requisite dating skills has emerged as one of the most pressing needs in the 21st century. This review of some of the bestselling dating books skills aims at helping individuals hone the requisite skills in today’s dating arena.

Swoon

By: Betsy Prioleau

swoon book coverPrioleau in her book Swoon allows her readers to indirectly experience the dating exploits of renowned ‘seductionists’ such as Casanova. The book also explores how the dating scene has changed in recent years as the social scene has slowly embraced same-sex relations. What makes ‘Swoon’ a must have for people entering the dating scene is the author’s ability to effectively express how skills espoused by famed libertines such as Casanova can be used to win over someone’s heart. Men love what they work hard for, because to them, easy come easy go. However, this notion does not imply that women should just lay back and wait for men to be their knight in shining armour. The main point is the fact that men have forgotten how to pursue women with the utmost sincerity. Chasing after a man can be catastrophic because men love the women they run after and not the ones they run away from. Men literally worship their freedom, and as hard as it may sound chasing after something that does not want to be caught can be downright and exhausting.

Never chase men again

By: Bruce Bryans

Never Chase Men AgainNever Chase Men Again: 38 Dating Secrets to Get the Guy, Keep Him Interested, and Prevent Dead-End Relationships by Bruce Bryans got published in 2015. The book serves to show women how men appraise how women behave in a bid to determine their value and level of self-respect as a romantic partner. It allows the readers to discover the unchanging seduction secrets and dating do’s and don’ts. By getting an insight into the canons of dating, a woman can evade catastrophic dating frustrations and keep away from appearing desperate or even needy. Some of the lessons to be learnt in the book include: The common mistakes committed by women during dating that compel men to “run away for good or keep off from dating in the 21st century. The dating rules for protecting “good women” who often feel exploited and mishandled by the common notorious promiscuous men. Some of the most aggravating and hurting habits that cause high-esteemed men to stop pursuing women instantaneously. How to keep a man interested, attracted, and focused on you with an unwavering loyalty level. The most domineering form of male seduction that keeps a woman destitute and powerlessly chasing after a man.

The modern day dating seems very devious and highly problematic. It remains marked by unending rough situations and frustrations. Even with all the texting, snap chatting, Facebooking, tindering, and Tweeting, communication between individuals remains “uncommunicative”. People would rather “hang out” than take dating with the much seriousness it deserves. The heightening Hangouts have made men sit back waiting for women to make the move. It should be clearly noted that in the past, men were the hunters and gatherers. As prescribed by nature, they ought to be the initiators of the relationships. Research shows that the most successful relationships come about when men become the initiators or make the first move. Relationships that begin as a result of women chasing after men do not have a happy ending. In his book, Bruce Bryans highly discourages women from chasing after men. According to him, chasing after a man kills the thrill of dating.

Ignore the Guy, Get the Guy: The Art of No Contact

By: Leslie Braswell

Ignore the Guy: The art of no contactThe above book serves as an “instruction manual” to the dating life. It reminds women about maintaining their standards and loving themselves above anything else. Being a single woman in this century seems gruelling because it implies that one has to be selective, smart and even sexy. Furthermore, it alludes that one has options to choose. Matters of the heart have always been complicated because the heart wants what it wants at all costs in most cases. The heart cannot be taught to “unlove” and it cannot get “Unbroken” and that’s a really harsh reality about life. The books enable women to learn how to prevent their men from losing interest, how to handle their emotions and a breakup among many other benefits.

Men Don’t Love Women Like You

By: G.L Lambert

Men Dont Love Women Like YouMen Don’t Love Women Like You by G.L Lambert is a breakthrough that speaks the brutal truth about dating. It does not seem like just any other book rather it is meant to be the step to step guide to evolution. It will break you down and bring you right back as quoted by the famous Beyoncé Knowles. The book provides real-life knowledge and information about dating and how to successfully work your way through it. The best thing about the book is that it presents facts as they are without “sugar-coating” or leaving out any crucial information. It stresses more on moving from a placeholder to a game changer. G.L Lambert, in his book, mainly aims at enhancing people’s dating skills.

The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P

By: Adelle Waldman

The Love Affairs of Nathaniel PThe love Affairs of Nathaniel P’ by Adelle Waldman book was first published in 2013. It clearly spells out the love affairs of Nate, P, a young man in search of happiness, and an inside on how he thinks about women. Nathaniel, P, a writer and a rising star has his pick of both women and magazines. When one of his relationships starts growing, he is compelled to consider what he really wants. One of the many problems facing modern dating revolves around the indecisiveness of some individuals. Adelle Waldman throws us into the flaws of the modern man. It reveals a man who thinks himself as beyond apparent judgement, even though he struggles with anxiety. Despite being drawn to women, he lets them down regularly, and this makes him an emblem of our times. The book provides insight into the dating world where people worry about breaking up with regards to how extensively they have invested in the relationship. Kate Hudson says, “This is excellent! Adelle Waldman writes a witty, relatable, and insightful novel about modern dating.”

The Five Flirting Styles: Use the Science of Flirting to Attract the Love You Really want

By: Jeffrey Hall

The Five Flirting StylesThe Five Flirting Styles’ by Jeffrey Hall revolves around identifying the natural flirting styles whether playful, physical, polite, traditional and sincere. The flirting styles to aid in making individuals flirt smarter and attract the love of their lives. The book enables individuals to discover where to search for love depending on their style. It also serves to make people tell if someone is interested so as to avoid missed opportunities. Jeffrey Hall also makes readers tell if someone wants a serious relationship or they want a quick fling. Understanding our flirting styles serves as one of the ways to enhancing our dating techniques. Flirting techniques have a significant impact on people’s love lives.

 

The Dating Playbook For Men: A Proven 7 Step System to go from Single to the Woman of your Dreams

By: Andrew Ferebee

The Dating Playbook for MenThe Dating Playbook for Men enables men to move from single frustrated bachelors to having the woman of their dreams. To continue, through the book, individuals are able to turn the barriers preventing them from chasing the women of their dreams. One of the most crucial goals of men in life has always been the ability to pursue and conquer the love of their life. It enables men to derive an unexplainable sense of pride that emanates from deep within. In most cases, it makes them abundantly motivated about life. The book enables men to turn obstacles like the fear of rejection in allies. Apart from this, the book enables men to build a fascinating social life that can be envied by other men. Through the book, men get to understand what women desire or want. One of the greatest causes of failure in dating embodies men’s inability to understand what women want. Even though it remains an uphill task to understand the desires of women due to their volatile nature, men’s lack of interest makes the situation worse. Sometimes a great mystery encompasses the art of understanding women. The first step to unveiling the mystery is using a guide from men and women of wisdom as in Andrew Ferebee’s book.

Interview with A Top Tier Dating Coach: Hunt Ethridge



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by Vic Corts | 4:32 p.m. | June 1st 2016

If we are asked what the most important thing in life is, dating and relationships are going to be the answer for so many people. It is human nature to seek relationships with others. Some may do it for fun and some do it to create a new life.

There are not many people in the world who can give better dating advice than top tier dating coaches. They are professionals possessing masterful skill in dating and flirting with all types of people. Not just that, they are best at interpersonal skills as well as philosophy and sociology.

Because of their knowledge, these dating coaches are well-known for bringing a successful dating life to their clients. And today we have a chance to interview Hunt Ethridge, currently CMO of LiveDatingAdvice.com as well as a co-founder and senior partner at International Dating Coach Association (IDCA). He has been helping hundreds of couples including the C-level employees of world famous companies, politicians, and even local celebrities.

Let's hear what he has to say about the life of a dating coach.

What life experience made you decide that you would like to be a dating coach?

Actually I was pushed into it! I was going to a psychiatrist over 10 years ago and she said this to me: “The men that come in here are broken and I can fix them. But the thing they want the most is to have a woman at their side and I can’t help them with that. You know more about this than anyone I’ve ever met, you need to figure out a way to monetize this and when you do I will refer all of my patients to you.” Wow! Hearing three such great comments from a female psychiatrist was meaningful.

I had always had a way with people, half of which are women, but I didn’t know others saw it this way. So I started looking at what I did, researched if there was a need, if there was a way to break it down, etc. And I then opened my first practice.

What was your dating life like before you became a dating coach?

Before I became a coach I led a pretty fun and busy dating life. Living and working in the New York City area gave me access to every sort of woman out there. Young, old, from this country or that country, tattooed rocker chick, sweet and kind fashionista and everything in between. So I was in no rush to settle down as there was such a variety to explore. And while I may have been a bit of a player, I prided myself on being and honest one.

Every girl that I was involved with knew exactly where we stood. I was never the guy that needed to lie or manipulate to get what I wanted. That’s not fun. You want someone to be with you because they like you, not the persona you are putting out there. But I had no real idea of why the things I was doing were working. It was just trying to be an authentic me and people, especially women, responded well to that.

chat with Hunt Ethridge

How does being a dating coach affect your own love life? Do you apply the same rules and matching techniques to your own dating habits?

It absolutely affects my love life! I have had to learn and study all about human psychology, biology and sociology as well as the differences between men and women and the way they think. I am now married, so while I don’t use the information to find singles, I absolutely use it to continue to date my wife. Just because you say “I do” doesn’t mean that the dating or romance stops. In fact, you’ve got to up your game! Sometimes I will be discussing something about the philosophy or practicality of dating to someone and my wife will hear me and say, “Hey, that sounds familiar! Were….were you….practicing on me?!” “Of course I was, honey!” But I am the only person in a couple I know that voluntarily read dating and relationship books, so it can’t help BUT make my own relationship better!

What is the most important thing when giving relationship advice to your client?

One of the most important things when giving advice is making sure they hear you. Not if they are listening, but are they really hearing and understanding and getting what it is you are saying. You can’t just talk “at” someone, you have to talk “with” them. In order to get them to understand difficult concepts or realities, you have to put it into ways that they can understand and recognize. For instance, I tell my clients that the onus is on them to practice.

Just showing up for their one hour a week won’t do much on its own. Imagine I’m a tennis coach. At the first lesson I teach you a forehand. Then it’s your job to go and hit 1000 balls up against the wall. Then I’ll teach you a backhand and you have to go out and hit 1000 balls up against the wall again. Basically I’m telling them that you can’t expect growth without putting aside hours devoted just to learning about dating. Otherwise, you won’t get the most out of it.

Another aspect of getting them to hear you is to understand their own past. If someone is a virgin and never been kissed, I can’t say, “You know when you’ve been dating for a couple of weeks and you’re trying to figure out where it’s going?” They have no frame of reference for this. So I have to come up with ways that they can relate to. For the virgin I will have to teach it one way and for the 40 year-old widower, I need to come at it a different way.

Lastly, I have to know how they see themselves as well to know how to best have them hear and get me. If someone is very plain but thinks they are fantastic, I have to approach it one way. If someone thinks they are plain and are actually very good looking, I have to approach it another.

So, basically learning HOW to teach is the most important thing.

What is the most asked question from your client? And why?

Hunt Ethridge, a top tier dating coachWell this differs between men and women. For men, they want to know the RIGHT thing to say and the RIGHT way to say it and the RIGHT thing to wear and the RIGHT place to go. Which are all the wrong questions. There IS no right way. To each their own. I can use almost any sentence as my opening approach and make it work. It’s more about attitude and believing in yourself.

They are hoping to find the “equation” to make it work for them. I have to disabuse them of this notion and get them to learn that there are no hard and fast rules and the best thing to learn is how to adapt and figure out what tools or skills to use in any given moment.

For women, the question I get the most is, “What is wrong with me?” They may have had lots of success when younger and suddenly find themselves alone. Or they continue to date men, yet the men ghost on them or stop dating them. And the women, unfortunately, take it very personally. Because they are also seeing other women that they feel are less accomplished having no problem getting men. I have to teach them this great quote, “Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. The men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting

hurt. Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy.

So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, THEY'RE amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.” It doesn’t make it any easier, but it helps them to understand what is happening.

Do you have some requirements for your clients?

The only requirement I have for my clients is a willingness to be open, to get ready to work. They have to understand that there is no magic panacea that will fix things. What will move you forward is a dedication to your journey, understanding that failure is part of learning and that you need to devote some time in your week specifically to work on your dating skills.

Is there a universal strategy that works for all dating advices?

Ha ha ha, I wish! I think that since the dawn of time, people have been looking for the universal constant. Plus everyone is different so what might work for me might not necessarily work for you. But I can definitely say that those people who are good with who they are as a person, faults and all and look at meeting people as a fun and exciting journey are the ones that have the greatest success. By far. It sounds a little cheesy, but no one is looking for perfection. What we all ARE looking for is someone with a good sense of self that doesn’t need us to “complete them.”

Is there a specific trait that prevents someone from having a successful relation?

The one obvious one is lack of communication. I am constantly amazed at the relationship issues that spiral out of control that could have been nipped in the bud with a little communication earlier on. Talk! Be open! Ask questions and don’t be afraid to address concerns, otherwise, how could the other person know that you are bothered?

Another trait is the thought that “I can change them.” NO! No, you can’t. And you shouldn’t. I mean, okay, a little bit of nudging is okay. Like learning how to be cleaner or to learn to cook a few meal. But fundamental behavioral qualities? They don’t change and if you try to change them, one of two things is going to happen. 1) They don’t change and you keep getting more and more frustrated with them until you blow up or 2) They get so annoyed with you trying to change them into something that they are not that THEY blow up. A person is the way they are. And if you don’t love them for it, someone else will.

How have apps such as Tinder and online dating sites changed the way of dating?

The easier it is to get a date, the less value we put on them. What this means is that we are becoming a society of disposable daters. In previous years, you met someone in person and got to talk with them. If that goes well you get a phone number and set up a date, etc. You are working a bit for and you are putting value on this interaction. With the way things are now, no one wants to work. Or, the tiniest little disqualifier (“Ugh, I hate the way they chew!”) can send someone for the hills because they think that they can just dial up another date, sometimes even that evening! And when it’s so easy, you have two other things that rear their head: paralysis of choice and trading up.

Paralysis of choice basically means that the more options, the more difficult it is to choose. If you needed to paint your room and someone gave you the option of green or blue, it would be easy for you to choose. But if I gave you a color book with 1600 choices, your brain would explode trying to figure out which one you want. Same thing in dating. And with the trading up, again, because it can be so easy, if someone meets a, say, 9.5/10, they might (stupidly) give them up in the hopes that a perfect 10 may come around.

Hunt Ethridge on an easy day.

If there’s one piece of advice you’d have for singles who are looking for a partner, what would it be?

“Are you interesting?” It can be summed up almost as simple as this. If I ask someone, “What did you do this weekend?” and the answer is “Not much, watched some Netflix and read”, I’m going to move on to the next person. However what if they told me, “Well on Saturday, I met my friend for coffee and then we walked around the city for a bit. That night I went to a movie I wanted to see by myself. On Sunday I did my **insert your hobby or pastime here** and caught up with some friends.” I am now very intrigued! I want to know more about this person!

One of the toughest things I teach is to reconnect with fun. Dating is SUPPOSED to be fun. That doesn’t mean it is, just that it should be. So go do things that you find fun! Your body language opens up, your energy rises, you smile more! And even if there isn’t anyone in that group that you would date, everyone there has siblings, friends, coworker that they want to say, “I just met this fantastic, dynamic person that you have to meet!”

Our dating coach interview does not end here. Check back our blog next week and read the dating and relationship advice from the CEO of Kezia Noble and the author of the bestselling book “Noble Art of Seducing Women”.

 

Recommended Board Game Cafes for Geeks in Bangkok



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by Vic Corts | 8:37 a.m. | May 1st 2016

Bangkok knows what you want and it graciously gives it to you: a pulsing night scene, iconic temples, shopping malls and night markets. It is a city that has launched hundreds of ‘Top 10 Things to Do in Bangkok’ listicles that seem to suggest that Bangkok has nothing else to offer other than temples and street food. These listicles often neglect to mention Bangkok’s budding reputation as a hobby hub that offers thrills to both hobbyists and casual gamers. The Thai capital rarely conjures the image of a city brimming with gamers’ cafés, and that ought to change.

Sitting quietly among quirky bistros, posh bars and ‘best restaurants’ are gamers’ and geeky cafes that have been proliferating in Bangkok for some time. They provide a refreshing change of dating scenery for lovebirds who couldn’t stand to have another date night at an over-decorated and overpriced rooftop bar. When you’re engaging in something that requires two-way (sometimes 7-way when you’re playing a board game) communication, there’s just the slightest chance that frequenting a gamers café could do wonders for your dating life.

Why the Dating Game is Easier to Play in Gamers’ Cafés

The growing number of theme cafes and restaurants in Bangkok has caused most gamers’ cafes to fade into the background. Most Bangkok residents only visit gamers’ cafes because they’re new or when options seem limited. Certified geeks and nerds in Bangkok, however, have been enjoying gamers’ cafes for some time now, while non-gamers and hobbyists are only just beginning to discover them and finding the strangeness of most of these cafes to be a nice surprise.

If you feel like the novelty of going to another fad restaurant is fizzling out, it’s about time you consider gamers’ cafés as an alternative, and increase your chances of scoring further. If you have been harboring a secret genius for Uno, you can unleash this secret on date night and, voila! Instant unforgettable dating moment. Playing a little game of Monopoly lets you peek in to your significant other’s capacity for making life-changing decisions such as knowing when to sell or buy a real estate property, even if the property is just a piece of plastic. Gamers’ cafes provide an avenue to really get to know someone in unexpected ways – something you don’t normally experience in a night out in Seenspace or RCA.

When a date is a choice between seeing a brainless superhero origin movie that has repeatedly been rebooted for the benefit of those who missed it the first 25 times and sitting in an overcrowded restaurant, that’s your cue to play around with your dating options in Bangkok. Try these gamers’ cafes where being called ‘geek’ is almost always a term of endearment.

1. Meeples & More Board Game Café

This unassuming yet charming two-story café is ideal for both board game lovers and lovers who love board games. With a good selection of over 60 games in stock (Go crazy over games such as Three Little Pigs or Food Chain Magnate), it would be impossible to be bored at Meeples & More. Most of the games are in good condition and the comfortable sofas and cheery décor are major pluses. 50 baht gets you an hour of playtime while 150 lets you go on a full-day board game spree – ideal if you intend to try most of the games and stay for more than 3 hours (because why wouldn’t you?). The food menu, while limited, includes a decent selection of rice meals, pastries and drinks.

Food Price: ~100 THB
Opening Hours: 2:00 PM – 11:00 PM on Tuesday – Friday and 11:00 AM – 11:00 PM on Saturday - Sunday
Location: Ruam Rudee Village, 5 minutes' walk from BTS Phloen Chit station
Google Map:https://goo.gl/maps/oCEzQRyqbBP2
Official Site: https://www.facebook.com/meeplesandmore/

Meeples and More Board Game Cafe

2. More Than a Game Café

While more ideal as a place to hang out with friends or family, More Than a Game Café is also terrific for couples that enjoy being in the company of giddy gamers. The café’s three branches – Chulalongkorn, I’M Park Community Mall, Thong Lo 13 – all have a large catalogue of adult and kids’ games, some of which are displayed and sold. Their food menu is one of the varied among gamers’ cafes: sweet and savory waffles are their specialty and the coffee and smoothie selection includes more than just basic brews.

The place can get a little noisy due to the large presence of families with kids, but that is just a testament to its fun atmosphere, which makes it such a big draw with families and the gaming crowd. Get a membership for you and your special someone so you could get all the benefits and scheduling a second (or third) date won’t be such a hassle.

Food Price: ~50-150 THB
Opening Hours: 11:00 AM - 9:00 PM, on Monday – Friday and 10.00 AM– 9.00 PM on Saturday and Sunday
Thong Lo 13 Branch Location: Soi Sukhumvit 49/4 (Soi Akkharaphat), 15 minutes walk from Thong lo BTS Station
Google Map: https://goo.gl/maps/KHjvkED2Qgo
Official Site: http://www.morethanagamecafe.com/

More Than a Game Cafe

3. Ninive Game Cafe

Pizza and play go well together on date night, and Ninive Game Café offers just that. Although it is, mainly, a store for games distributor Ninive Game Store’s games, whose most prominent product is The Settlers of Catan, this café lets you pick from impressive hundreds of games to playfor free!

The store/café, located in Phra Khanong, is great for late-night date nights because of its late opening hours

Food Price: ~100-250 THB
Opening Hours: 2:00 AM - 1:00 AM, Daily
Location: 1108/13-14 Sukumvit Plus Soy 1, 4 minutes walk from Phra Khaning BTS Station
Google Map: https://goo.gl/maps/E7ejf4YBufN2
Official Site: http://www.ninivegames.com/en/

Ninive Game Cafe

4. Boarding Time Board Game Café

With its steampunk aesthetic and comfy furniture, Boarding Time Board Game Café should be on geeky couples’ go-to list for a cozy play-date. You and your beloved can gawk at the shop’s 400+ board games for sale (to store visitors as well as to other local board game shops) and over 200 games that can be played in-store. To foster a sense of community among patrons, the staff sometimes seats customers with other customers. Kitchen prepares savory dishes such as green curry and potato curry, as well as sandwiches, French fries, chicken karage and hash browns for those who have a smaller appetite, while dessert and beverage menu includes ETE ice cream-parfait, coffee, Italian soda and softdrinks. You will eat up the company, community and fun – the stuff that first nerds’ dates are made of.

The café is conveniently accessible through BTS (Phloen Chit station) and is open daily from 2:00 PM – 12:00 AM.

Food Price: ~100-250 THB
Opening Hours: 2:00 PM - 12:00 AM, Daily
Location: 888/20 Soi Mahatun Building, 2 minutes walk from Phloen Chit BTS Station
Google Map: https://goo.gl/maps/43L554VeEn52
Official Site: http://boardingtimegames.com/

Boarding Time Board Game Cafe

5. Bitbox Boardgame Café

Bitbox is among the few no-frills board game cafés ideal for couples that are already going steady. For extremely casual dates – one that involves friend tag-alongs – Bitbox is one of the better options. The place tend to draw a much younger crowd, perhaps because of its straightforward approach to service: a handful of games and a few refreshments. Some drinks are served in quirky mason jars and if you’re lucky, you get one with a cat-shaped foam. Deserts and other food items are priced somewhere between 80 to 100 baht, and you can buy toys, too.

Food Price: ~80-100 THB
Opening Hours: 2:30 PM - 12:00 AM, Daily
Location: Soi Amornphan, Phaholyothin Rd, 3.5 km from Phahon Yothin MRT Station
Google Map: https://goo.gl/maps/RdEynhBpxSp
Official Site: http://www.bitboxcafe.com/

Bitbox Boardgame Cafe

6. Kopi-O Board Game Café

This museum-like café, located in Sukhumvit Soi 33, was founded by a board game aficionado, which should explain its huge selection of common and rare board games. The sheer volume of games can be a bit overwhelming but that is a problem that you and your lover surely wouldn’t mind having. Selection of food is minimal but that is hardly an issue when you consider that it stores collections of both board games and card games – enough to keep your brain and gaming juices flowing. Helpful staff members would gladly explain some of the games including those that are for sale.

Food Price: ~100-250 THB
Opening Hours: 12:00 PM - 10:00 PM, Daily
Location: Sukumvit 33, 15 minutes walk from Phrom Phong BTS Station
Google Map: https://goo.gl/maps/miKPoohBgbU2
Official Site: https://www.facebook.com/kopioboardgame/

Kopi-O Board Game Cafe

7. Battlefield Bangkok

You’ve heard that iconic line about love being a battlefield and you’ve no doubt experienced one (a battlefield-like love). In Battlefield Bangkok, you will experience no such thing as long as both of you mutually consent to having a day of romantic, geeky gaming fun with three private gaming rooms. This is a great place to take your date to show off your gaming knowledge and, with stacks upon stacks of board games, toys, books and other items, choose the perfect gaming starter pack as anniversary or dating gift. It is free to try and play games at the store. Food can be ordered from a range of local restaurants nearby serving both local and international cuisine such as British, Spanish, and Japanese. Another great thing about this place is it does not have the actual closing hours during Friday - Sun. They are generally "when everyone has gone home".

Food Price: ~20-80 THB
Opening Hours: Wed-Thu: 3:00 PM - 10:00 PM, Fri: 3:00 PM - 11:00 PM, Sat-Sun: 12:30 PM - 11:00 PM
Location: Sukhumvit 101/1, 10 minutes walk from Punnawithi BTS Station
Google Map: https://goo.gl/maps/u24enUZjK2U2
Official Site: http://battlefieldbangkok.com/

board game time at Battlefield Bangkok

8. Game Over Lounge

Situated in one of Sukhumvit’s popular nighttime districts, Game Over Lounge is an ultra-chic gaming space and restaurant where nerdy couples can spontaneously combust in a fit of geeky euophoria. With ample seating, foosball and pool tables, RPG area, and board games scattered about in the lounge, a night out in this hobbyists’ paradise could lead to more geeky date nights. Game Over Lounge is also a nice respite from Thong Lo’s rowdy bars and numerous Japanese-themed restaurants, with its PS4 and Xbox consoles that you can enjoy with juicy burgers (by burger trucker Daniel Thaiger) and craft beers.

The lounge is open from 11.00 am – 2.00 am daily except Mondays.

Food Price: ~100-250 THB
Opening Hours: Tuesday – Sunday: 11:00 AM – 2:00 AM
Location: Sukumvit 55, 25 minutes' walk from Thong Lo BTS Station
Google Map: https://goo.gl/maps/SbduUkKPNX52
Official Site: http://www.gameover.co.th/

Game Over Lounge

Look around your neighborhood, as there are loads of these inconspicuous, cozy spaces that look more like a daycare center than a café. The Playz in Silom, for instance, is a joyful little joint that serves Star Wars-inspired milk, some coffee, pies and Nintendo. If you and your partner are in the mood for some kitsch, the Japanese-inspired Maid Café will more than satiate.

They may be serving just a relatively small community in Bangkok, but these gamers’ cafes have convivial ambience, mostly good menu offerings, and interesting little touches on décor, and personalized service in spades. Classy, romantic restaurants are nice, but flirting with playful dating ideas could help you level up faster in the dating game – the game where it hurts the most to lose! In case you are looking for something to go with you, check out our geek dating sites.

Why You Should Date a Big Girl



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by Vic Corts | 3:54 p.m. | December 29th 2015

Cute BBWThe world doesn’t make it easy on big women to feel attractive. In fact, the world plays a major role in the big girls’ emotional battles of self-acceptance and having high self-esteem. The modeling industry is well-known for years of displaying skinny, anorexic looking models sporting a size 2 or 4 frame, in magazines, billboards, and on runways in fashion shows all over the world. The images of these thin, beautiful women is what has caused many people to believe that this is what you should look like to be beautiful. The truth is, women can be beautiful, no matter their size! Models like Melissa Aronson (known as Emme), Candice Huffine and Dana Elaine Owens, (known as Queen Latifah), have helped to redefine the look of beauty. As the world changes, women are getting bigger. The average woman is now a sexy size 12 and men have plenty of reasons to date these women, and other big beautiful women (BBW) of larger sizes.

Preference

It’s your preference! Do what you wish to do and don’t worry about what other people say. Some men do not prefer to date larger women and this is okay! Everyone has a preference as some men may choose to only date short women, tall women, women with long hair, women of a certain race and even some may prefer to not date women with children. Men who prefer to date big girls love them and would not have it any other way! They love the curvy hips, plump thighs, cushiony stomachs, big breasts, all the qualities that could come with being a voluptuous woman.

Affection

Everybody wants affection. Affection has been shown to reduce tension and stress, and can be a great end to a long hard day at work. Research shows that affection is as equally important to men as it is to women. Big girls are known to be very affectionate and cuddling with them is fun! Big girls have more to hug and more to feel on and squeeze and look forward to showing and receiving affection. Not only does affection help you, being affectionate helps your big and beautiful woman feel the love that she needs for emotional stability.

Personality

Your personality shows who you are. Perhaps this is the greatest quality that people may notice about bigger girls. They tend to have inner beauty that displays through their wonderful personalities! Big girls tend to have openness, a trait that makes them open to new experiences and trying new things, especially new foods. They are willing to go new places, especially with their man. Agreeableness is another personality trait that big girls have which measures the extent of a person’s warmth and kindness. Big girls with agreeableness are more compassionate and trustworthy and dependable. Big girls also tend to be extraverts who are very chatty, happy, and sociable, so they will be nice to bring to parties and family functions. Mature people see personalities as a great asset that far outweigh a person’s looks that overtime will change. Personalities are permanent traits, built into one’s DNA, so you can bet that the magnificent person you met today, will be the same in ten years!

Love for Food

Do you like to eat? Of course you do! Everybody loves to eat! It’s just that some people who love to eat deprive themselves of the things they want to eat in fear of getting fat. So every day they miss out on what they truly love to eat, instead of maybe eating small portions. There are many skinny chics who love to eat food but resort to drastic measures like binge eating and throwing up. Big girls don’t want to throw up their food and they hate to waste food. You don’t ever have to worry about big girls eating a fat-free yogurt cup as a meal and scolding you because you ate a big, fat juicy hamburger. Big girls will eat a hamburger with you. Big girls love to cook, love to go out to eat, love to talk about food, and will love to feed you. Big girls will cook you three meals a day, ensuring that you are well feed.

Fat juicy burger

Inspiration

Have you ever met a big girl who mentioned that she would love to lose weight, but just has a hard time doing so? You can play a large part in helping her. This is your opportunity to help someone accomplish a goal. Big girls would love to work out with someone who can motivate them to look and feel better about themselves, especially her man. You can take her walking outside in the park, around the neighborhood or to the gym. Be sure to let her know that you love her just the way she is, but if she desires to lose weight, you are more than willing to help her.

Loyalty

Big girls unfortunately may not have scores of guys chasing after them. They don’t tend to be head turners, but if you get to know them, you will find out what how great they can be. They are loyal to friends, their boyfriends, and husbands and not constantly looking for the next tall, dark, and handsome man to come into their lives. They are content with being with one person and make great companions physically and emotionally.

Companionship

Women, like men, come in different shapes and sizes and everyone sports their own unique look. If all men preferred small women, then big girls would forever be lonely. Big women need love, romance, companionship and want families as well. Big girls desire to be loved and want to feel beautiful and wanted. Big girls don’t want to sit in the park to simply watch other people strolling by, holding hands and hugging. They want to be at the park with their man having great conversation and alone time.

Confidence

There is nothing more attractive than a confident woman or man. As you sport your beautiful, big woman on your arm, you will be the envy of people who get a chance to see you. They will feel your confidence as you stroll in the park or at the mall or as you eat together. They will respect you and your preference to be with someone unique. They will see you as someone who doesn’t care what people think or say and know that you are happy and satisfied with who you are with. People will know that you are confident with your preference in women and this can help other men began to ponder about giving a big woman a chance. Your girl will also be confident as she will be with her man and skinny chics will wonder what she did to get you. You both will make a statement to everyone and they will know that there is something deeper than the weight issue and they will want to experience it as well.

Online Dating Sites to Meet a BBW

If you are looking to date a BBW, they can be easily found on different dating sites. BBWRomance.com is an online dating website that has a specific site dedicated to big and beautiful singles. If you want to meet a big and beautiful person, this is a great place to start. On this site, BBW can post pictures of themselves and feel comfortable knowing that the men who are viewing their pictures won’t worry about size. This takes the stress out of online dating and women and men can be free. There is a small monthly fee to join the site. Another site to meet BBW is LargeFriends.com. This site is free and easy to use and has many attractive big girls just waiting for that someone special or their ideal match. Chubbybunnie.com is another online dating website that caters to plus size singles. BBWcupid.com specializes in helping big men and women find each other and form lasting friendships or relationships. Again, members can feel free, relaxed, and comfortable as they share pictures of themselves with others who won’t look at them in disgust. After reading this article, men will be able to give a number of reasons why they should date a big, beautiful woman. Everyone has their own preference and men who like big girls are free to date and select whoever they wish as their mate. Big girls have great qualities which can make them great girlfriends or marriage partners. If you wish to find a big, beautiful woman, you can look around your neighborhoods because they are there. However, if you choose to date online, that is wonderful as well, as online dating is a great way to find out about the person to see if they are a perfect match.

Seven Dating Tips for Finding Love While You're Traveling



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by Vic Corts | 11:42 a.m. | December 7th 2015

Do you travel a ton? Are you always on the road and find it difficult to have a relationship because of it? Do you want to find lasting love with the people you come into contact with on your travels? It's quite possible to find a solid and fun relationship while you travel with a little work and determination. The dating world is a difficult one, no matter how you slice it up. It's not guaranteed that you will find someone -- but there are some easy steps you can take to help increase your chances of finding a girlfriend or boyfriend that can last a lifetime. Get started with these quick and easy tips to getting acclimated to dating as you travel.

A delicate kiss - Image courtesy of Chad McDonald / flickr.com

Tip #1: Start a Conversation

The first step to a great date is starting a conversation. Practice starting conversations with people ahead of your travels. It starts with a short conversation of small talk. You’ll be surprised how easy it is to continue talking to someone when you find easy and natural connections. So practice your conversational skills now. When you go out to a restaurant, challenge yourself to strike up a conversation with your waiter or bartender. At your hotel, practice small talk with the front desk staff. If you’re out and about in the city wherever you are traveling, practice talking to random strangers on the street. It’s true that this may be easier for people who are a little more extroverted, but with time, even introverts can learn to navigate small talk well.

Tip #2: Hang Out at the Hot Spots

Whenever you land in a new city, ask around to learn about the restaurants, bars and event places that you’ll need to check out. You want to ask locals for the best places because they really know where to go. And you want to go to these local hot spots not only for your own cultural development – especially if you’re only going to be in the city for a short amount of time – but because at these spots you’ll might find more people to talk to throughout the day and into the night.

Tip #3: Be Inquisitive and Genuinely Interested

Many people can sniff out people who are playing the field and who aren’t genuinely interested in getting to know a person. So don’t be that person. If you want to be a person who attracts a lasting, solid relationship, then you have to be willing to be truly interested in the other person. That speaks volumes. Ask more questions than you answer. Be inquisitive about the other person’s life, family, culture, passions and ambitions. Try to form lasting bonds of connection in the amount of time you have. You’ll feel better about the start of the relationship – and better about how you present yourself as a person and date.

Tip #4: Be Kind

If you want a kind person, be a kind person. This type of attitute is a key to successful dating as stated by Rachel MacLynn. This is especially important to remember when you are traveling – as there are many things that can go every wrong as you travel from one city to another. So make efforts to practice compassion with everyone you meet. You’ll not only feel better about your actions, but you’ll be preparing yourself for interacting with potential love interests. They’ll notice your attention to the heart and to their heart very quickly because it will become part of your (nearly) natural way of being.

Tip #5: Learn to Recognize Natural Connection

Dining with an asian - Image courtesy of Daniel Hoherd / flickr.com One mistake many people can make in the midst of dating while traveling is not recognizing natural connection when it is there. It is easy to get wrapped up in the emotions of a whirlwind romance, but that’s also something to pay attention to. If you can meet someone and talk long into the night, there’s a physical and intellectual chemistry perhaps you should be paying attention to. As you meet people on your travels, learn to recognize when you are drawn to a particular person over another. Keep this in the back of your mind as you date, as with practice, you’ll get better at recognizing it so you don’t waste your time.

Tip #6: Be Respectful

Especially when you are traveling abroad or to other domestic cities – you need to remember to respect other people and their cultures. It’s very common for Western travelers to think they know the best way because of all the conveniences and way of doing things in the United States. But it isn’t respectful to super-impose your way of life onto another person’s and to assume that person’s life and way of being is backward. Now you may not outwardly or obviously show this. That’s why it’s something that you’ll need to practice and to pay attention to. The more respectful you can be of another person’s culture, especially in Asia, the more the people around you will appreciate and respect you.

Tip #7: Know When to Move On

Listen, the bottom line is that you are not going to click with everyone -- no matter how much you pride yourself on being the person who can literally talk to anyone. Everyone has something another person finds annoying, and it's up to you both to figure out your thresholds and what your deal breakers really are. You cannot change people. Remember that and tell it to yourself often! Know when to cut your losses and move on. Life is too short to stay with a person who is entirely wrong for you. This can happen easily when traveling. You don’t want to become enamored with someone and find yourself flying back and forth to his or her city on trips – when ultimately, you know that person is not for you deep down inside. Pay attention to all of these tips above, and use these seven core tips as your dating toolbox when traveling. You’ll find that over time, each of these seven tips builds on the other to make you more self aware and the kind of person that other people do want to date.

Bonus Tip: Use Online Apps

Finally, while you are traveling, don’t be ashamed to download the most popular dating apps in the city where you will be spending some time. Domestically, you my have luck with dating apps such as eHarmony, Match and Tinder. There is a hierarchy of dating apps. eHarmony long as been known as a more “serious,” dating app – as it is a closed network and matches singles based upon a personality test. Match is also another good networking site, but you do have to be open to having your profile public. That means that even if you aren’t a Match.com account holder, anyone can open up the Match site online and they may see your profile. Tinder long has been known as a dating app for Millenials, but that doesn’t mean you cannot use it if you’re out of that age bracket. Simply ask around or check it out for yourself to see if you are finding singles who are in your age range/stage of life. You never know until you try. Click here to read how to successfully use Tinder. Now, a note on international travel: If you are going abroad, make sure you check in with locals or do your research ahead of time to see if singles are using those apps or if there is a better app you should try for the duration of your time in a city. You’ll waste less of your time and be in the know by just asking a few simple questions.

In conclusion, don't give up if you don't find someone in the first city you travel to -- especially is you're a travel bug for work or for pleasure. It takes time to find the right person, and you are doing your due diligence by taking your time and by being open to the dating process as it evolves. You may be disappointed and frustrated at times. But you also just may find love!

By following these quick and easy seven dating tips, you'll be on your way to searching and even finding love while you travel. It's important to remember that dating is never an easy process. It takes work. And it takes sincerity. If you approach dating while you travel as an opportunity to meet like-minded individuals that you appreciate and can have a natural connection with, then you’ll be in a much more healthy state of mind and will have more realistic expectations. Take it one step at a time, be culturally sensitive, and appreciate the people you meet throughout your travels. Good luck and we hope you find an amazing love while you travel!

What to Do If You Find Your Partner's Name in the Ashley Madison Leaked List



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by Fran Ralston | 11:41 a.m. | August 27th 2015

If your partner have been cheating on you, hopefully, they haven't been doing it through Ashley Madison. That's because their names have just been revealed to everyone who has Internet access, which probably includes you, your BFFs, your muscular big brother who's into CrossFit, your long-time nanny whose migrant family is rumored to hail from the Italian mafia, and whoever they agreed to be faithful to. For those who have been faithful in the relationship, what should you do if you find that your partner was using Ashley Madison?

Image courtesy of Flickr.com/photos/teakwood

Breathe A Sigh of Relief

Finding out that your partner has been cheating on you is the worst feeling in the world. However, at least you will know who your husband or wife has been sleeping with. Thank God, they're not with the babysitter, the nanny, your secretary, or your gardener named Jose. While you can always find someone new to share your life with, it's almost impossible to find reliable and trustworthy help these days.

Admit to Your Own Affair

In most relationships that involve two people who aren't on the same page anymore, both parties will eventually resort to having an affair. If you've been having an affair of your own too, this is the right time to come out of the closet. The if-you-can-do-it-I-can-do-it-too alibi will work perfectly well in this situation.

Look Forward to Your Payday

If you've been faithful to a T, you should have no problem getting the house, alimony and pretty much anything else that you want in the divorce settlement. Once your significant other has been outed as the cheater, the last thing he or she will want to happen is let the jury or the divorce lawyer know about it. Now you can laugh all the way to the bank, every time you try to blackmail, uh erase that, threat him to sue for divorce.

It Could Actually Be What Your Marriage Needs

On a serious note, finding out that your partner is on such a list could just be that he or she wanted to explore in the bedroom department. Maybe both of you could benefit from an open marriage, swinging or having threesomes with others who are looking for some variety in their sex lives. At worst, you now know that your partner isn't what you want and need, which means that you can start to look for someone who is better for you.

Image courtesy of marin at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Take Advantage of the Guilt Feeling to Get Your Own Way

Assuming that your cheating partner is willing to salvage any type of relationship with you and your children, you can guilt him or her into taking the kids while you are having fun somewhere. It is important to note that you should only leave children with an adult when it is safe to do so. Otherwise, you might have to opt for a staycation or send them to your parent's house for a few days.

Make Your Own Fantasies Come True

Have you had a thing for that red-haired woman next door or for the Starbucks barrista where you get your coffee each day? Now is your chance to make your move for real. If you have ever wanted to have sex on the beach without ordering at the bar first, you have the freedom to do so without any strings attached.

If you find that your partner has been using an infidelity website behind your back, it is not the end of the world. You will eventually find someone who loves you while your partner will try to get you back when his or her latest fling is over. As an added bonus, you know that the next person to commit to can't possibly cheat on you using the Ashley Madison website.

Struggles Only Filipinos Who Date Foreigners Will Understand



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by Joanne Derecho | 10:09 a.m. | May 28th 2015

'mnez5' photo courtesy of zandroj, used under a Creative Commons licence
The Filipino-foreigner pairing is really nothing new. The Philippine shores have always played host to a wide array of foreigners throughout history – Chinese, Malays, Indonesians, Spanish, Japanese, and Americans. These people were so enthralled by the beauty of the Philippines and its peoples that they found themselves wanting to stay and conquer more than just farmlands, spices and pearls.

If you don’t believe me, all you have to do is drop by one of the foreigner-frequented Starbucks in the upscale Greenbelt mall and watch interracial couples pass by the dozen. Some of them look like typical couples while some have crossed that line into the unconventional. But, truth be told, these Filipino-foreigner couples always get a second glance from the gossips who delight in speculating about strangers' romantic lives.

Despite the occasional jeers, perhaps some of these gossip girls and folks just want a Caucasian man (or woman) to call their own. We all know someone who knows somebody who knows a foreigner. Talk to any relative of yours who has a co-worker whose cousin's brother-in-law's friend knows some Irish man who's looking for a Filipina date. It's a long shot, but let them set you up on a blind date and see where it goes. If that doesn't work, there's always online dating.

 

Foreign Affairs

At first glance, a Filipino dating a foreigner seems strange. Some Filipinos would consider you either lucky or odd if you're dating a white, black or Latin man. Others would even see striking similarities between going out with a Caucasian and winning the lottery, but that perception couldn’t be any farther from the truth. As someone who went a step further and actually married an Italian man, I can tell you that it’s just like a walk in the park – the Jurassic Park.

So that you don't go around cultivating strange (and false) ideas, let me enlighten you to some struggles and misconceptions that only a Filipina dating or marrying a foreigner will understand:

1. Food is such a big deal to us Filipinos that it sometimes seems as if we're always so consumed by thoughts of what to eat, and where. If you find yourself scoffing at this, get back to me when you're actually living with your white loverboy, eating salad instead of lechon kawali (crispy pork fried to arteries-clogging perfection) for breakfast. All is well when you're on a date with your Italian lover, and he takes you to fancy restaurants to impress you. That is, until you actually live with him and find out that all he wants to have for breakfast is a shot of espresso. You, on the other hand, want to wolf down a plate of tapsilog (sliced beef over rice, with fried egg) which, in turn, makes him nauseous just looking at it.

I have always considered myself well-adjusted, having spent ten or so years working in a cruise ship surrounded by a lot of different nationalities, but still, this experience did little to dampen the shock I experienced when I first moved to Italy. I love Pizza Hut as much as the next Filipino, but I can't eat a family-sized pizza in one sitting the way Italians do.

Image courtesy of Gio Campecino and Mr. & Mrs. Perrett

2. Learning each other’s language might not be a big issue when you're still dating, but it will be important when you meet his family who speak only Italian, or Chinese, or Hungarian. You wouldn't want to be the only one in the dinner table who’s always wondering if they have already sold you to the highest bidder. They say that lovers only need the language of love to understand each other. Whoever said this must’ve been on crack, because unless both of you can understand each other over at least one language (for example, English), the so-called language of love would be nothing more than gibberish.

3. White people usually have a very big personal bubble, and we Filipinos have very little to none. They like a lot of space in everything they do, while Filipinos don’t need as much. So don’t be surprised that he might not be very receptive to the idea of hitting the mall (or anywhere else) with your tribe, or be very receptive to being sandwiched between your uncle Daboy and cousin Caloy.

4. I'm not sure if it’s a warped sense of colonial mentality, but every time a Filipino sees a fellow Filipino with a foreigner, they immediately think that the Filipino half has hit a gold mine. It can be difficult to convince someone that unless these white people came to the Philippines in a yacht or a private plane, chances are, they are not rich, and their struggles to get through life are just as real as everyone else's.

5. For ladies who are wondering, it's true what you've heard: most white men are uncut down there. The uncut version of a penis might come as a shock, so for those who have made it to third base, don’t be surprised when he pulls it out and it looks like an unpeeled banana – that’s just how it is. Don’t worry, the extra layer of skin doesn’t take away anything from the performance. 

6. Not all white men are old and creepy. I know this stereotype is pretty hard to break considering the myriad of really old white men going around with women who are young enough to be their granddaughter. While this May-December affair is certainly none of my business, it certainly doesn’t help me and those who have partners who are only four or five years older. But the next time you see an old man with a woman who looks young enough to be his granddaughter, also consider the possibility that she might be a colleague or a friend, or, you know, actually his granddaughter.

7. It’s a struggle to break through the misconception that I, a Filipina, is only after a foreign passport as a means to a better life. Some Filipinos are definitely guilty of this, but I am not one of them. A green, red, blue or off-white passport holds no appeal to me, at all.  

Image courtesy of Gio Campecino and Mr. & Mrs. Perrett

8. Depending on your arrangement, you can decide to live in his country or he can live in yours. Regardless of whoever lives in which country, you can be sure that there will be a lot of adjusting and adapting. If you find yourself experiencing winter in a country where snow is a natural occurrence, the newness will eventually wear off. Soon, the novelty of having to wear a fur coat to go to the corner store to buy vinegar won't be so fabulous once you've really settled in your new wintry city.

9. As someone who has to do 'expat duties' on a regular basis, I couldn't think of a more tedious task than lining up in the embassy in my best clothes, with documents weighing more than myself, and trying to convince the consuls to let me in their country. To top it all off, there is the added work of lining up in the immigration office with all the other immigrants to get a permit. It makes me feel like I arrived in their country in a refugee boat.

 

Interracial Daters Gonna Date

In the end, having a relationship with a foreign man (or woman) is not that different from being in a relationship with someone of your own race. Choose somebody who makes you laugh, someone who will accept you for who you are, especially if who you are is someone who would eat slabs of crispy pork for breakfast.

Whether you choose to be somebody who is brown, black, white or blue, relationships are hard work. It takes commitment, patience, sacrifice and, sometimes, a valid passport to make it work. If it means you have to eat salad like a goat every so often, then so be it.

Matchmaking Chronicles: Interview with Matchmaker Rachel MacLynn



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by Patricio | 4:50 p.m. | April 7th 2015

Matchmaking dates back to as early as 1600 and single people's dating and relationship needs since then haven't changed much hundreds of years later. In the library of Cupid, we asked fellow professional cupids about their process, their most memorable matchmaking moments, and why matchmakers still matter. They also serve some really practical advice for those who are seeking eternal romantic bliss.

Previously, we featured Michele Fields, Julie Ferman, May Hui, and Caroline Brealey.

For five years, Rachel MacLynn specialized in the selection and leadership development of senior executives. As Managing Director of The Vida Consultancy, she is now focused on selecting dates and leading a team of matchmakers in developing romantic prospects for successful professionals. Unlike Meredith Brooks, Rachel MacLynn's 'one-hit wonder' reputation is marked by an early successful foray into matching a major client with the love of his life, which then continued with a trend of multiple matchmaking 'hits'. In this interview, the London-based matchmaker and founder of The Vida Consultancy shares her company's approach to matching and some insights on what type of lady Prince Harry ought to be paired with.

Image courtesy of Rachel MacLynn

Matchmaking seems like one of the most exciting professions there is. Have you always seen yourself as a professional cupid? What made you decide to become one?

I always knew that I wanted a career which involved helping people. To be honest, I didn’t even know matchmaking existed as a profession, when I started out in my working life.

I’ve always been fascinated by the human mind and behaviour, as well as in business, so I completed a degree in psychology, followed by a Master’s in Business Psychology. After several years of practising as a psychologist, I realised I particularly enjoyed working with people on a one-to-one basis. I became curious about life coaching and through this, matchmaking caught my eye.

When I first spotted a job advert for a matchmaker/psychologist, I had butterflies in my stomach. It felt like the job was just perfect for me. I’ve been matchmaking for nine years and running Vida Consultancy for four. It excites me how much the industry is blossoming and I’m honoured to be working alongside the Matchmaking Institute, to develop and raise professional and ethical standards amongst new and existing matchmakers, in what is thus far, an unregulated profession.

What are the most important factors to consider when creating a match?

At Vida, we consult our clients throughout the entire process. We fully respect their viewpoint, but we’ll also contribute our own expertise and insight, as vital ingredients which must go into the melting pot. We recognise that what a client says they want in a partner and what they actually need can be very different. So, when creating a match we always consider the following factors and adopt the same stringent approach with all of our clients:

  • Profile the client, to establish their core values and aspirations.
  • We also explore what attributes relating to each ex-partner contributed to the success and failure of the relationship.
  • We review and discuss what the client says they want in a partner, then redefine this to build a profile of their ‘ideal partner’, based on shared values.
  • We then search for profiles that most closely fit this ‘ideal’ description, focusing predominantly on these shared values, then considering factors such as age, appearance (physical attractiveness is particularly important to men!), intelligence, whether or not they have or want children, etc.

Who are the best candidates for a matchmaking service? Why do you think certain people turn to matchmaking to find a partner?

Most people come to a matchmaking service because they don’t have time to find a partner on their own; they’ve exhausted other avenues of finding love and they want to meet someone of a high calibre. Above all, they turn to us seeking to be imbued with hope, and fortified by our affirmation based on our extensive experience, that there really is someone ideal for them out there, with whom we can help them find and connect, to form a fulfilling partnership.

However, not everyone who approaches a matchmaker would make a suitable client, so the best matchmakers will quickly ascertain just who the best candidates are, and consequently only work with these people as clients.

Is there a specific trait that prevents someone from being successfully paired? Do you have some requirements for your clients?

Within Vida, we apply the following rules of thumb when we meet potential clients, as criteria for accepting them:

  1. They must be relationship ready, ie., have an open and willing attitude, requiring no more than a few parallel coaching sessions, if necessary. Matchmakers aren’t therapists, so if a client has been traumatised by a past relationship experience, for example, we advise that they seek independent support to deal and process such factors, before we take them on as clients.
  2. Their personal expectations must be realistic. We agree the general parameters under which we would be searching for a partner, before any commitment to joining is made on the part of the potential client.
  3. The profile of their ‘ideal partner’ must fit within Vida’s network. Every matchmaking agency deals with a certain demographic and geographical area. We specialise in finding life partners for exceptional people who live cosmopolitan lifestyles.
  4. They also must approach the matchmaking process with a positive attitude. Matchmaking is an emotional process, with many accompanying uncertainties. It can feel like a relationship minefield. We have a much higher level of success with clients who possess a positive mind-set towards matchmaking, and to finding a partner in general.

Rachel MacLynn enjoying tea with fellow senior matchmakers (Image courtesy of Rachel MacLynn)

In what ways is professional matchmaking more effective than online dating?

Online dating misses the human element of assessing compatibility. It focuses on the outside in, with Tinder being a key example of this. Whilst Tinder is hugely successful for those whose objective is simply to find a hot date, exclusive matchmaking is much better suited to those who are ready, and fully-committed, to finding their life partner. In the same way that you turn to consultants to advise on other important areas of life (where to invest your money, personal trainers, etc.), matchmakers can share their view and expertise on subjective factors such as values, a match’s behaviour, and so on.

Any unforgettable matchmaking anecdote you would like to share?

I’m nick-named amongst my team of matchmakers as “the one-hit wonder”. I hit instant success just a few months into running Vida, with a very high profile client who was seeking his life partner. He married the first person I introduced him to. I realised through this, the importance of not only really listening to a client, but also working together to redefine the ‘ideal profile’. I’ve since successfully matched many clients with their first or second introductions, recognising that, provided the core values are aligned, other factors such as age, location and physical attributes don’t necessarily have to be exactly as defined at the outset. When it comes to finding true love, the rule book often goes straight out of the window!

How does being a cupid-for-hire affect your own love life? Do you apply the same rules and matching techniques to your own dating habits?

I’m very lucky to have met my fiancé a year before setting up Vida. Being a matchmaker has taught me a lot about how to maintain a healthy and happy relationship. When I met Jamie, I realised for example, that it would be important for him, as the man, to take the lead as we danced through the dating phase. We communicate with each other as best friends, we laugh constantly and we both understand that to maintain our current levels of contentment, we need to focus on making the other person happy, rather than on our own selfish demands. I’m pleased to say that after nearly five years, we’re still madly in love and I don’t ever see this changing!

Is matchmaking as fun as it looks or is the stress level equal to that of a neurosurgeon? Would you recommend professional matchmaking as a career option?

Overall, matchmaking is loads of fun! I’ve an incredible team at Vida and we work very closely together, constantly supporting each other. When a matchmaker puts together a successful match, we usually do a victory dance around the office! But like any job, there are stresses and strains, too. Matchmaking is very subjective and dealing with people’s personal lives means there are a huge number of given variables at play, at any one time. It’s particularly painful having to tell a client that a match doesn’t want to meet them. We feel the disappointment almost as keenly as the client does.

I’d definitely recommend professional matchmaking as a career option to anyone who genuinely wants to help people find true love. Matchmaking should be seen as a vocation, not as a money spinner. For the industry to continue growing, it’s critical that matchmakers work to a pre-determined, high level of ethical and professional standards.

How much do you charge for your service? Are there significant differences in rate? Some matchmakers are more expensive than others, but differences in fees aside, what makes your services special?

Our fees start at $15,000 for one year, and increase depending on how much bespoke searching is required. Our service works particularly well for successful men and women seeking a search either locally in London, or a full international search. At Vida, we’ve a network of thousands of singletons, in many cities throughout Europe, the USA and the Middle East. We don’t advertise, so are proud to have grown our network through word-of-mouth. This has maintained the exceptionally high quality of our profiles. 

Image courtesy of Rachel MacLynn

If you were to pick a popular figure to match, who would you pick and what kind of date would you set?

I’d love to match Prince Harry – once he’s ready to find his life partner, that is! Like his brother, I think he’d suit someone who’d feel comfortable moving in aristocratic circles. However, this lady would also need to be grounded, compassionate and ‘real’. I’d look for someone with the values and likability of both Princess Diana and the Duchess of Cornwall.

If there’s one piece of advice you’d have for singles who are looking for a partner, what would it be?

Before you start looking for your life partner, you absolutely must get yourself into a good place in your own life. The better you feel about yourself, the more easily you’ll attract the right person and the greater will be your chances of enjoying a permanent, mutually rewarding relationship.


To find out more about Rachel MacLynn's services:

Visit her site - www.thevidaconsultancy.com 

Like The Vida Consultancy on Facebook - www.facebook.com/TheVidaConsultancy 

Follow The Vida Consultancy on Twitter - twitter.com/VidaConsultancy 

Drop by her company's LinkedIn page - www.linkedin.com/company/the-vida-consultancy  

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