Whether your aim is to exit singlehood, develop friendships, or find a quick romp, Cupid's Library has a carefully curated list of dating categories and sites for your online dating needs. Falling for a wrong matchmaker may not be as painful as falling for the wrong match, but you can avoid both. Through Cupid's Library's list of comprehensive dating categories and site reviews, you can end your dating drought by signing up only for the right site and paying for the subscription plans that suit your requirements.

Top Ranked Dating Sites

Website URL Rating
1. Match.com http://www.match.com
2. Meet Locals http://www.meetlocals.com
3. AsianDating.com http://www.asiandating.com
4. Fitness Singles http://www.fitness-singles.com
5. Wealthymen.com http://www.wealthymen.com
6. Dating For Seniors http://www.datingforseniors.com
7. Video Game Dating http://www.videogamedating.net
8. BBW Romance http://www.bbwromance.com
9. Farmers Dating Site http://www.farmersdatingsite.com
10. Atheist Personals http://www.atheistpersonals.net

Top Dating Spots in San Francisco 2016



comments
by Vic Corts | 10:40 a.m. | August 19th 2016

Dinner and a movie is a great idea for a date, but it can get repetitive. Sometimes, it can be difficult to step out of the ordinary and do something different. Maybe, you're ready but can't quite find something that peaks your interest, or your busy schedule doesn't allow time to research date night ideas. Great news! We've done the research for you and found several amazing places that offer something for everyone.

One great thing about San Francisco is that it has a diverse selection of entertainment, art, and fun. Whether you enjoy quiet walks along the beach or embracing the nightlife a big city can offer, you're certain to find the perfect date spot. If you don't have someone to go with you yet, just find one at match.com

Pier 39

Contrary to popular belief, Pier 39 is not just for tourists. With a variety of shops, dining, and entertainment, couples may have a hard time choosing what to do first. Take a stroll around the pier and keep an eye out for sea lions, stop and observe various street performers, and enjoy live music.

Mix it up and try out the Magowan Infinite Mirror Maze. Psychedelic lights and music make it even more difficult to find your way.

Spend part of the afternoon on the 65-foot catamaran known as "Kitty Kat" and go whale-watching. Enjoy exploring the Gulf of the Farallons National Marine Sanctuary as you learn more about dolphins, whales, and other sea life. If you're not lucky enough to spot some whales, the next time is free!

Pier 39 - San Francisco, Image taken by John O'Neill - wikipedia.org

Union Square

Union Square offers a huge variety of shopping, entertainment, and food. Enjoy the delicious food and drinks while watching a show at PianoFight. If you're a jazz and blues fan, check out southern eating and entertainment at Biscuits & Blues. Go on a tour or walk through the amazing art galleries.

Ruby Skye often has famous DJs stopping by to spin records while you dance the night away. If you think comedy relief would be a great date idea, try out Cheaper Than Therapy. This hilarious show will have you and your date laughing the entire time.

Union Square, Image taken by By Aude - Own work, CC BY-SA 2.5, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=1963698

Fisherman's Wharf

A night in San Francisco's historic waterfront district offers more than just great food and music. If you're looking for something completely out of the ordinary for a great date night, this is the spot! Musee Mecanique will take you back to your childhood with old video games, music players, and fortune tellers.

For the thrill-seekers, The San Francisco Dungeon is a fun 'haunted' experience. With an amazing cast, they immerse visitors into the story providing an unforgettable experience.

Take a trip to Alcatraz Island or visit one of the museums. Pier 39, listed above, is also located in this district. With so much to do, you may decide to plan several dates here.

Fisherman's Wharf at night - image taken by m01229 - flickr.com

The Presidio

For the adventurous types, The Presidio offers a variety of trails for hiking and biking. You can choose to stay close to the ocean or enjoy the Southern Wilds where you can hike through the forest.

History and beauty are combined on the Urban Hike. An experienced guide takes you through the former military post where you will visit the San Francisco National Cemetary. You'll walk along Lover's Lane and Ecology Trail. Alcatraz can be seen atop Inspiration Point.

At the Presidio Picnic, you can enjoy street vendors and food trucks offering tons of food choices. If you're a Star Wars fan, be sure to stop by Lucasfilm Headquarters just inside the Lombard Gates and see the incredible Yoda statue.

 Presidio - By EPoelzl (Own work) [CC BY-SA 3.0 (http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0)], via Wikimedia Commons

Golden Gate Park

Enjoy the beautiful gardens, visit the aquarium, or just relax in the outdoors at the Golden Gate Park. It is a perfect location for a fitness couple. Just north of the golf course, you can try archery. Equipment is available for rent, and you'll receive tips from expert archers. The 9 target bales are surrounded by lush green grass and trees making it the perfect picnic spot.

Rent a rowboat or paddle boat and venture out into Stow Lake. Right in the middle of the lake is Strawberry Hill. You can walk to the top and enjoy the breathtaking views which include a waterfall.

Golden Gate Park - image taken by Markus Laber

Russian Hill

Take a drive to Russian Hill and experience Lombard Street which is also known as "The Crookedest Street". One of San Francisco's steepest streets is also located in Russian Hill. Filbert Street has a 31.5% grade.

This beautiful neighborhood is also home to quaint restaurants and shops. Try out Amarena, an inexpensive Italian restaurant which serves amazing bread and pasta.

Stop by the San Francisco Art Institue or grab a treat at Swenson's Ice Cream. Enjoy the beautiful parks and gardens and top off the night with a few drinks at one of this district's nightlife venues.

Lombard Street - image taken by Jan Kronsell

The Mission

Pack a picnic lunch and visit Delores Park and take in the amazing view of the San Francisco skyline. Feast on amazing Mexican food at La Taqueria or one of the many wonderful restaurants.

You can walk around and observe the incredible street murals on Balmy and Clarion Alley. Contemporary, Latino art can be found at the Galeria de la Raza. Zeitgeist is just one of the many places in this district to grab a cold beer.

Dolores Park - image taken by Almonroth (https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:Almonroth)

North Beach

An afternoon in North Beach, also known as San Francisco's "Little Italy", is a perfect date spot. In addition to Italian cuisine, you can also find Japanese and French restaurants. One popular place to eat is Caffe Greco.

Visit the stunning Peter and Paul Church in Washington Square. At Doc's Lab, you can eat, drink, and enjoy a performance including comedy, readings, and music.

Visit the many boutiques, and don't forget to check out the amazing "City Lights" bookstore. Coit Tower has amazing views. If you stay into the night, there are plenty of lively nightclubs to choose from.

North Beach San Francisco

SoMa - South of Market

SoMa is a large wide-spread district that is home to the Cartoon Art Museum, the Giants, and amazing cultural museums. Grab some coffee and croissants at The Butler & The Chef, or enjoy one of many other cafes and restaurants.

SoMa also has a huge variety of shops, boutiques, and nightclubs. The Mezzanine is a great place to dance to live music or you may get lucky and go the same night they're hosting a popular DJ. Performing arts fans will love the Smuin Ballet.

South of Market - Image taken by Marlith (https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:Marlith)

Chinatown

The largest outside of Asia, as well as the only one in North America, Chinatown offers way more than just great Chinese food. There are a number of museums, gardens, theaters, and beautiful Asian ladies. Stop in the Golden Gate Fortune Cookie Factory and observe the different shapes and sizes. You can even stay for a while and watch as the cookies are being made.

Take a few hours and walk around the San Francisco Zoo or the California Academy of Sciences Museum. Visit the Winchester Mystery House, the Exploratorium, and so much more.

San Francisco China Town - Image taken by Chensiyuan (https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/User:Chensiyuan)

We hope you've enjoyed our list of dating spots in San Francisco. As you can see, there are so many different things to enjoy in this city. Each district offers its own unique experience, and we hope you were able to find some great date ideas! If you are still looking for a date, why don't you check these sites out?

 

 

Interview with A Top Tier Dating Coach: Mike Goldstein



comments
by Vic Corts | 11:12 a.m. | August 12th 2016

If we are asked what the most important thing in life is, dating and relationships are going to be the answer for so many people. It is human nature to seek relationships with others. Some may do it for fun and some do it to create a new life.

There are not many people in the world who can give better dating advice than top tier dating coaches. They are professionals possessing masterful skill in dating and flirting with all types of people. Not just that, they are best at interpersonal skills as well as philosophy and sociology.

Because of their knowledge, these dating coaches are well-known for bringing a successful dating life to their clients. Our dating coach for today's interview is Mike Goldstein. He is a 1-on-1 dating coach for women who has been featured on the Today Show, The Star Ledger, and Shape Magazine. 83% of Mike's clients enter relationships during coaching and he currently has 100% client satisfaction.

If you would like to learn more about Mike or his practice please visit his website or blog for specific, straight to the point dating advice.

What life experience made you decide that you would like to be a dating coach?

Mike GoldsteinAt the age of 24, I was deeply upset over a girlfriend cheating on me with a close friend. Needing to understand why, I began a life of studying dating and relationships. Soon people would say, "You truly understand human interaction and online dating, why don't you start coaching people?" I listened. A few years later I had coached 6 people to fulfilling marriages with 7 children between them. I also was getting clients into a relationships at an industry leading 83 percent.

What was your dating life like before you became a dating coach?

Well at the beginning of high school I was a total nerd and could barely get a woman to speak to me. After lots of frustration and sleepless nights, I spent countless hours studying experts, reading, and practicing. Eventually, I become an expert and truly enjoyed dating and ultimately found my current girlfriend.

How does being a dating coach affect your own love life? Do you apply the same rules and matching techniques to your own dating habits?

It has changed my life completely. Because I mostly coach women now, I get to hear their pain points in dating, and more importantly exactly what they want from men. My clients have basically given me the keys to the castle and thus I am constantly using this information to show my girlfriend how much she means to me and ensuring I do my best to treat her like a queen.

What is the most important thing when giving relationship advice to your client?

The advice MUST be SIMPLE and EASY TO DO. If 97% of people can IMPLEMENT your advice and get the RESULT PROMISED, then it is good advice. Any percentage lower than 97% has not been refined enough to be truly useful.

What is the most asked question from your client? And why?

Why is he not interested in me?

The answer is simple. I have no idea. Although this is extremely difficult, I ask everyone to not take it personally. When I start working with a new client, I make them narrow down their must haves to only 5 things. Thus, when a man decides to stop seeing you, he stopped because of 1 of 2 reasons.

1. You don't have 1 of the 5 things he needs in a life partner

2. He is only looking for sex and he figured it was going to take too long with you

Neither of these reasons have ANYTHING to do with you. Thus, move onto the next one realizing it was simply not the right guy for you.

Mike GoldsteinDo you have some requirements for your clients?

1. On a scale of 0 (least important) to 10 (most important) finding love is at least an 8 if not higher. I want people who are highly motivated and want to be successful.

Is there a universal strategy that works for all dating advice?

There is a universal strategy to online dating. Simply, profiles needs to be written more specifically

Don't Say - On a typical Friday night I watch Netflix.

Do Say - On a typical Friday night I watch 2 episodes of Law and Order on Netflix, go to bed at 11PM to wake up and run 5 miles at 9AM in Central Park.

The 2nd sentence shows what merging of lives could look like, a relaxing Friday night with an early wake up on Saturday. This sentence will rule out non-morning people and the Friday bar hoping crowd which is great news because these folks most likely wouldn't make sense for you.

Is there a specific trait that prevents someone from having a successful relationship?

Everyone is different but I think one concept could save a lot of relationships. When your partner brings up a concern he/she is having, even if it is brutally attacking your character, listen to it, attempt to understand it, and work with your partner to find a better way moving forward.

How have apps such as Tinder and online dating sites changed the way of dating?

Tinder specifically has made less barriers of entry to going on dates. Your profile can be created in under 5 minutes unlike for example okcupid or match.

In terms of optimizing your time, I would still create a specific and more robust profile on okcupid and only go on dates with men that most likely have your must haves.

Typically on Tinder or similar apps there is not much information in a profile and you basically are going on a blind date. For the person who wants to be more efficient in dating, I would use okcupid, make use of the longer more substantive profiles and match% which works quite well. (My data shows that clients that go on dates with 90% match percentage enjoy the date conversation 85% of the time)

If there’s one piece of advice you’d have for singles who are looking for a partner, what would it be?

Here is my #1 piece of advice. This video is the Number 1 Thing Women Do To Erk Men.

What You Need to Know When Dating an Atheist



comments
by Vic Corts | 10:27 a.m. | August 5th 2016

If you were to go online and research the results of dating an atheist, you would discover a plethora of posts highlighting such derogatory phrases such as, "God Hater" and "Bible Thumper." Dating someone with different religious views is hard enough for some people to grapple, but for a religious person to date an atheist, well, that is a whole other can of worms.

An atheist, according to the dictionary's definition, is a person who lacks faith in the existence of God. For some faithful few, there is no greater sin. In order to understand what is required to date someone of such questionable moral fiber, you first have to ask yourself some tough questions first.

definition of an atheist

Dating an Atheist for Starters

For starters, if you are of the opinion that anyone who shares a different religious view than you is somehow morally culpable, dating an atheist is probably not going to work out well for you, regardless of how attractive or endearing they may appear on the surface. On the other hand, an atheist who believes someone of deep religious conviction is an uneducated fool may also do better dating someone more philosophically compatible.

Religion can be a spiritually uplifting endeavor offering its believers the opportunity to connect with themselves, and the world in a highly deep and intimate way. In many ways, atheists share this conviction. The main difference resides in the fact that the atheist does not hold God responsible for this connection.

In order to date an atheist, unless you are an atheist yourself, you must have an open mind and respect for beliefs that are different than your own. The atheist must share those open minded qualities. As with dating in general, respect for the other person is the key component to any healthy relationship. Whether discussing religion, politics or how to raise a family, one must always consider there are other points of views. If you want your views respected, it is imperative to respect the views of others as well. Dating an atheist is no exception to this rule.

Understand an Atheist

Contrary to some belief, atheism is not a sadistic endeavor. There are, of course, some hurtful and unsavory atheists in the world. There are also some hurtful and unsavory Christians and Jews and Muslims. Many highly worthwhile philanthropic endeavors were the result of kind atheists seeking to make the world a better place. Would you rather date a cruel Christian or a kind atheist? If kindness wins in your book, dating an atheist can probably work out providing you respect each other's views and do not encourage conflict.

If you are someone who would rather be alone than with someone who does not believe in God, regardless of how kind he or she may be, then dating an atheist should never be a consideration. Seeking to convert or change a person is a big no-no in regards to dating and is vastly discouraged by licensed therapists and professionals worldwide. Nothing can lead to relationship dysfunction faster than the appearance that another is not good enough as they are.

If you do not see your atheist boyfriend or girlfriend as acceptable for who they are, you best leave them and seek someone you can accept. That said, you should never stand for having your religious views mocked or ridiculed by an atheist either. If you are dating a non-believer, and they do not show respect for your views, they are not worth the time or energy of dating.

Avoiding judgement is the key when dating someone with radically different fundamental beliefs. This goes for both the believer and non-believer. These beliefs tend to be an important aspect of a person's character and deserve to be treating as such. If you are a religious person, non judgement should already be a part of your religious practice. Even if you do not believe in God, but seek to be a kind and good soul, you will be true to your mission by refraining condemnation. "Respect and be respected." should be the mantra of this type of relationship, or it will never survive for any great length of time.

holding hands - from Yoel Ben-Avraham, flickr.com

Two Core Principles

In a nutshell, successfully dating an atheist comes down to understanding and implementing two core principles.

1.) A Person's Religious Beliefs are a Personal, Individual Affair.

Yes, you heard that right. If you are deeply religious and constantly seeking to change your atheist lover into something more palatable to you, you are better off terminating the relationship and finding someone more spiritually akin to you. Your partner's beliefs are their own, and not a reflection of your own. If you can not respect this, you can not respect them. The same goes for the atheist. You may not believe in God, and that is your personal choice and right.

If your partner does, however, you must respect that regardless of how silly or misinformed you think those views may be. Belittling a believer or mocking their views merely because they are not in line with your own is disrespectful and unfair. Regardless of where you fall on the religious spectrum, if you want your views respected, you must respect the views of others. There is nothing more paramount in a relationship.

2.) Be Open to New Things.

A key component to any healthy relationship is the ability to introduce each other to new and different things even if those things are not always your particular cup of tea. I love baseball, for example. My wife and daughter do not, but out of love for me, they accompany me on my sojourn across the country in an attempt to see every major league park. This makes the experience much more happy for me, as I love having my wife and daughter's company. On their side, they get to see new cities and places, revel in the marvels of some of the modern stadiums, and enjoy the vibrancy of the home crowd while eating good food and meeting new people.Their openness to my interests makes us all happy.

On the other hand, I am not a religious person. My wife is Catholic. I go with her every year to midnight mass, and other important holidays at our local church. This means a great deal to her to have me beside her. I enjoy the candles and incense. The music can bring me to tears, and on more than one occasion, I have been tremendously inspired by the priest's moving homily. My wife's joy, subsequently, brings me joy, too. Why, because I love her, and she loves me, and we are able to meet in the spaces between our individual interests and beliefs.

3.) Respect Their Beliefs.

Do I believe the Virgin Mary ascended bodily into heaven, no. Do I believe that Christ arose from the dead, walked on water, and turned water into wine, no. Would I ever mock or make fun of my wife for harboring such beliefs, never. If you love someone, you respect their beliefs. If you can not, love will never be enough. In our twenty years of marriage, my wife has never sought to make me a member of her church or frowned upon the zen meditation I do every morning in lieu of a religious affiliation. She does not seek to make me Catholic or insist on my believing what she does. If she did, our marriage would suffer as the result.

burning sunset and burning love - from Carlos ZGZ and james j8246, flickr.com

Find the Right Out

Dating is not marriage, but unless you come from a culture that arranges marriages, you can not have those longer, meaningful relationships without dating. If you date an atheist, ask yourself if this relationship has a future. If it does, seek the mutual respect requisite for any lasting relationship. Expect nothing less from the person you are dating. Not every atheist is a "God-Hating" sinner. Often, they are warm and loving people who could offer a great deal to a relationship. Not every religious person is a "Bible-Thumping" moron. In many cases, their religion has cultivated in them a clear sense of purpose and moral integrity.

There are many articles and sites out there that will tell you that an atheist and a person of faith can never be compatible. I am living proof that that concept is not true. Perhaps, if you are a closed minded fundamentalist of any denomination, including atheism, your close mindedness would preclude such a relationship. If you are of the belief, however that religion, atheism included, should open our hearts, not close them, dating an atheist is like dating anyone else with a different viewpoint than our own.

In order to effectively date an atheist, you need to:

  • Be respectful of each other.
  • Be kind and open minded.
  • Do not sacrifice your views for that of another, and never ask another to do so for you.
  • Treat others as you yourself would like to be treated.

Implement these core practices when dating anyone, and you will soon discover that dating an atheist does not have to be as complicated as some might make it out to be. Check out these atheist dating sites to start looking for your atheist partner. 

Do you have a love story related to atheist dating? Don't just keep it to yourself. Contact us to write for the Cupid's Library community and help share knowledge for the benefit of all. We are waiting to share your story!

Interview with A Top Tier Dating Coach: James Preece



comments
by Vic Corts | 8:21 a.m. | August 3rd 2016

If we are asked what the most important thing in life is, dating and relationships are going to be the answer for so many people. It is human nature to seek relationships with others. Some may do it for fun and some do it to create a new life.

There are not many people in the world who can give better dating advice than top tier dating coaches. They are professionals possessing masterful skill in dating and flirting with all types of people. Not just that, they are best at interpersonal skills as well as philosophy and sociology.

Because of their knowledge, these dating coaches are well-known for bringing a successful dating life to their clients. Our dating coach for today's interview is James Preech. He is one of the UK's leading Dating Experts and Dating Coaches. James has been working in the industry for over a decade and is involved in a wide variety of different areas, such as personal dating coaching, Online Dating, singles events, matchmaking and consulting for many dating companies.

James Preece is a regularly featured expert in top UK and international media: such as the Independent, Cosmopolitan, OK Magazine, Men’s Health, Match.com, The Sun, Ann Summers and often appears on radio and television. In addition, he has clients all over the world and is the author of 6 best-selling dating books, including the Amazon Number One best seller "I will Make You Click!"

You can find out more about him via his website: www.jamespreece.com

Let's hear what he has to say about the life of a dating coach.

What life experience made you decide that you would like to be a dating coach?

James PreeceI used be an actor years ago and helped out hosting singles parties as a way to make extra money. I found I was great at bringing people together and decided to make it a full time career. The events were also a good way to get dates for myself, so I was able to get lots of dating experience at the same time!

What was your dating life like before you became a dating coach?

I dated hundreds of women before I became a dating coach. It was frustrating as I never thought I'd find someone I truly clicked with. However, all that changed when I met my wife. I knew she was the one almost straight away and we've been together for almost nine years now. Once we were together I knew I had to teach everything I knew to others, so I could help them too.

How does being a dating coach affect your own love life? Do you apply the same rules and matching techniques to your own dating habits?

I'm lucky to have a very trusty and understanding wife! I have to be on call for my clients all through the day and night in case they need me. Sometimes, it's almost as if I'm going out on the dates with them. I'm always learning new things from all my clients, so I do try and remember them for my own relationship.

If I tell a client that they should be doing something then I have to make sure it's something I'd be equally happy to do.

What is the most important thing when giving relationship advice to your client?

I think it's important that while I'm always friendly and respectful, they are paying me to tell them the truth. If they have unrealistic expectations or are doing something completely wrong, they I have to put them straight. I think deep down they know what has to be done anyway, but hearing if from a dating expert makes the difference. Once we've worked through this then they will make dramatic progress.

What is the most asked question from your client? And why?

I Will Make You Click by James Preece

"Where are all the decent men/women hiding?" Despite having so many options, many professional singles are still struggling to meet each other. They might be getting dates, but not with the sort of people they really want to end up with. This can lead to confusion and frustration.

Do you have some requirements for your clients?

I only work with clients who are will to take on board my suggestions and do what I suggest. The good thing is most people only come to me once they've already made the decision to get some help. As long as they agree to follow the plan I put together for them, then we will work together until they see results.

Is there a universal strategy that works for all dating advices?

Every person is different, so I have to plan a new strategy for each person. Of course there are many things that I suggest to clients, such as booking some singles events or joining an online dating site. However, everyone has their own unique dating and life experiences so I have to create something special for each one.

Is there a specific trait that prevents someone from having a successful relationship?

Lack of confidence can seriously damage your chances of having a happy relationship. Unfortunately, this can happen after a bad break up or rejection. The important thing to remember is that everyone is a little shy – but some people can hide it better. I often help people build their confidence and realise how much they have to offer a potential partner.

How have apps such as Tinder and online dating sites changed the way of dating?

They have changed dating completely – both in a good way and also bad too. They have opened up massive opportunities and make it easier than ever to find a partner quickly. The downside is that I believe it's made many singles fussier and more confused that ever. They are spoilt for choice when it comes to choosing both a site/app and when they are looking for a match.

They don't feel they need to invest as much time getting to know someone as there will always be another person ready to meet. This means they are missing out as they aren't giving potential partners long enough to get to know each other.

If there’s one piece of advice you’d have for singles who are looking for a partner, what would it be?

You have to like yourself before you can convince anyone else to like you back. Happiness, confidence and fulfilled lives are attractive qualities and once you have those then you'll find a partner quickly. So work on yourself to make sure you are having a great time and feeling your best. This might mean hitting the gym, buying a new wardrobe or learning some new skills.

If you feel you would like some extra help, then you should definitely seek out a dating coach too!

Our dating coach interview does not end here. Check back our blog next week and read the dating and relationship advice from Mike Goldstein, a top dating coach who always brings the 100% satisfaction to his client. And if you miss our last interview Sheri Maas, do not forget to check it out as well.

Love and Herpes— My Experience With Online Dating and STDs



comments
by Vic Corts | 4:31 p.m. | July 22nd 2016

Dating in the era of “swipe left” is hard enough as it is without having to worry about STDs. Yeah, we were all taught the risks of sexually transmitted diseases in health class back in eighth grade, but how many of us were actually paying attention at the time? (I’m not even sure I fully understood what sex was back then, if we’re being honest.) Or maybe, like me, you just assumed that the only people who had STDs were promiscuous, unintelligent, careless or on drugs. Smart people didn’t get STDs. People who went to college and paid their bills on time and took care of themselves didn’t get STDs. Boy, was I wrong.

What are STDs?

Before we get into the details of how I ended up with an STD— me, the responsible one, the one that always looked twice before crossing the street and never left home without hand sanitizer, let’s do a quick refresher course on STDs. STDs, or sexually transmitted diseases, are a category of infections diseases that spread from person to person through sexual contact. There are some of the most common contagious diseases on the planet, with over 20 million new cases popping up each and every year. Common STDs you’ve probably heard about are chlamydia, genital herpes, gonorrhea and HIV/AIDs just to name a few. Severity it STDs range from those that are cured with a simple antibiotics prescription, to those that are incurable and have lifelong symptoms, to those that are incurable and cause death. Yes, death. So they’re no joke, and you really have to be careful and protect yourself if you want to be safe.

Genital Herpes — Initial Visits to Physicians’ Offices, United States, 1966–2013

Genital herpes—Initial visits to physicians’ offices: United States, 1966–2013 statistics from cdc.gov

Meeting Mr. Right

Fast forward to April the year I turned 26. I had graduated college, gotten a great entry-level job, had my own apartment and generally had my life together. The only thing missing was a significant other. So I ventured into the world on online dating, not really expecting much, but hoping to find Mr. Right nonetheless. And to my utter surprise, I found him after only having to endure three dates with completely awful Mr. Wrongs. It was magic. It was a miracle. It was perfect— until suddenly it wasn’t. About three months into the relationship, I developed an extremely painful rash “down there.” These harsh, red, irritated, inflamed chicken pox-like spots appeared with a vengeance. They were itchy. They were painful. It hurt when I moved. It hurt when I peed. I knew I was in trouble.

Getting Diagnosed

In a panic, I booked an appointment with my gynecologist. What was wrong with me? Where did these spots come from? If I had been smart, I’d have realized what was going on right away. But like i said, I considered myself to be smart, responsible, careful. The thought that I had an STD never even crossed my mind. So when the doctor declared I had genital herpes, I almost fell off my chair. Herpes? Genital herpes? How on earth did I have herpes? I had actually had a long, intense, awkward conversation with Mr. Right about his health the first time he proposed having sex without a condom. I blatantly refused until he promised me up and down, backwards and forwards that he was clean.

And now here I was, sitting in a flimsy dressing gown on a table covered in crinkly paper facing the diagnosis of genital herpes. What was going through my mind? For starters, murder. I wanted to kill Mr. Right. He had lied to me about his STD. He had turned me from a responsible upstanding woman into trashy damaged goods overnight. He was going to pay.

?broken flowers - from Hartwig HKD, flickr.com

"He had turned me from a responsible upstanding woman into trashy damaged goods overnight"

The Confrontation

I had it all planned out in my head. I was going to call him up and ask him to come over to my place as calmly as possible. Then I was going to play nice when he walked in so that he suspected nothing. Then I was going to launch my attack. What really happened is I got him on the phone and immediately burst into tears. I loved this man. I was mad at him, yes, but I also wanted his support. I was blubbering so hard, I couldn’t even manage full sentences. He was on his way to my place before I hung up the phone.

The murderous confrontation I imagined never happened. Instead, he calmly and rationally listened to me talk about my day at the doctor’s office. He was shocked, upset and apologetic as I accused him of lying to me, of infecting me with a nasty STD, of wanting to have sex without a condom when he knew perfectly well what was going to happen. He was so calm. Why wasn’t he embarrassed? Why wasn’t he ashamed? Why was he just sitting there comforting me with a look of shock on his face instead of running for the hills? Didn’t he know we were through? Didn’t he know I was about to murder him?

His Confession

I spent that entire night waiting for his confession so that I could yell, scream, throw a fit, maybe even throw a punch. But as it turned out, he had no more idea what was going on than I did. It took multiple trips to the doctor’s office to discover that Mr. Right is somewhat of an anomaly. He doesn’t have genital herpes himself in the sense that he experiences the symptoms of the disease, but he’s a carrier for genital herpes and can pass it on to others. Being a fine, upstanding, responsible guy himself (probably why I had fallen head over heels for him), I was the first girl he had had unprotected sex with. He didn’t know to warn me. He didn’t know he was putting my health in danger. He didn’t know he had an STD.

confession - image taken from Mister G.C., flickr.com

"He didn’t know to warn me. He didn’t know he was putting my health in danger. He didn’t know he had an STD"

The Aftermath

I wish I could say his ignorance made it easier for us to deal with the situation; unfortunately, I felt like damaged goods, and he felt guilty. And in a cruel twist of fate, we had to be more careful than even when having sex. Because even though he gave the disease to me initially, it was actually possible for me to give it back to him in a way that would cause him to finally experience symptoms. So that meant condoms, condoms and more condoms, even after we got engaged— even after we got married. Having a partner with an STD, particularly an incurable one like genital herpes, is a struggle. There’s no impromptu sex. If we’re out somewhere and there’s no condom, it’s not going to happen. I can’t risk spreading my STD back to him. I won’t let it happen. I’ve long since gotten over my shame and guilt. I’ve long since gotten over the idea that only sluts or whores get STDs. And even though I have this incurable, permanent condition that flares up from time to time, I feel lucky. I found Mr. Right. I found someone that was willing to deal with what happened head on.

Once we sorted through the details and realized I was the one that could spread the STD back to him, he was supportive and understanding. He was never grossed out, never scared to get intimate with me. But I can only imagine that if we hadn’t been nearly engaged at the time that this all happened that it might have been a completely different situation.

Safe Sex Matters

It had never occurred to me that it was possible to get an STD, and an incurable one at that, if you followed the rules and asked all the right questions. I know my story isn’t the norm— being an asymptomatic carrier for genital herpes is extremely rare. And I got the happy ending with Mr. Right, the white dress, picket fences and all that, just with a slight caveat. I’d do it all again, too, if I had the chance. Just know how important it is to be safe in today’s world. Ask your partner about their sexual history and sexual health. If possible, take your partner to do STD testing. It’s going to be an uncomfortable conversation. It’s going to be awkward. But if it means you can avoid contracting a devastating STD, it’s worth it. If the guy bolts because you asked him a few personal questions, he isn’t worth it in the long run. And if you already have an STD and are looking for love, know that the right guy is out there and that you can be safe.

How to Know if You Have an STD video from plannedparenthood.org

I’ve been with Mr. Right for ten years now, and he still only carries herpes asymptomatically. It’s possible. The right person, the one that loves you and wants to be with you, will deal with the inconveniences and will make the exceptions to be safe. If Mr. Right had told known to tell me about his condition, I still would have been with him. I would have made the sacrifices needed to stay with him and stay safe. The right guy will. Wait for him. Remember, you can always “swipe left.

Love the article? Do not forget to read "The Love of My Life Has Manic Depressions" as well. It is a life experience from a women who marry a guy with Manic Depression.

Do you have a love story related to sickness dating? Don't just keep it to yourself. Contact us to write for the Cupid's Library community and help share knowledge for the benefit of all. We are waiting to share your story!

Interview with A Top Tier Dating Coach: Sheri Maass



comments
by Vic Corts | 10:48 a.m. | July 15th 2016

If we are asked what the most important thing in life is, dating and relationships are going to be the answer for so many people. It is human nature to seek relationships with others. Some may do it for fun and some do it to create a new life.

There are not many people in the world who can give better dating advice than top tier dating coaches. They are professionals possessing masterful skill in dating and flirting with all types of people. Not just that, they are best at interpersonal skills as well as philosophy and sociology.

Because of their knowledge, these dating coaches are well-known for bringing a successful dating life to their clients. Our dating coach for today's interview is Sheri Maass, an experienced dating coach who received various dating coach certifications as well as a Master Practitioner Certification in the Energy Leadership Index from iPEC. She has been providing relationship success to her clients based on her over 25 years of personal relationship experience and eight years of being a professional dating coach.

Sheri is also the founder and director of Women’s Networking group in Milwaukee and Madison called “Professional Women of Wisconsin Networking” with thousands and growing numbers of women members.

Let's hear what she has to say about the life of a dating coach.

What life experience made you decide that you would like to be a dating coach?

I’ve known since I was very young that this is what I was meant to do. Even as a young girl, classmates would come to me at recess to talk about their crushes and ask for advice and guidance with the little boys chasing them around the playground. It never really felt like a decision – more like a purpose.

What was your dating life like before you became a dating coach?

My dating life was very active. I learned a lot about myself, about what I want/need and about dating in general. It was one of the most fun and frustrating times in my life but the education through that experience is partially why I am so good at what I do. I called myself a “serial dater”- having one date after the other in order to learn more about behaviours, attraction, communication and connection. By the end of it all I was an expert before I even began my professional training.

How does being a dating coach affect your own love life? Do you apply the same rules and matching techniques to your own dating habits?

Sheri and her husbandAs a love coach, my husband is very aware of the techniques I use and we both actively participate in applying everything I teach to my clients into our own relationship. I believe it is important to always “date” your significant other – no matter how long you’ve been together.

What is the most important thing when giving relationship advice to your client?

The most important thing is to really know my clients; who they are, their likes and dislikes and what their needs and goals are. I always make sure to customize my coaching to fit each client. What may work for one may be a disaster for someone else. That being said, I do believe the most important thing someone can do before starting a relationship is to become very self aware; know what you want, know what will compliment you and know your non-negotiables.

What is the most asked question from your client? And why?

The most common question is “How do I know when I’ve found the right one?” This is a hard one to answer but, in general, you will just know. There is usually a sense of relief and comfort when you meet. The ONLY way to get to that point, however, is through self awareness. Many people who haven’t taken the time to get to know (and love) themselves can find themselves thinking they “know” but, eventually realize the person is not a good match for them. If you are in alignment with who you are and know what you want – you will just “know”.

Do you have some requirements for your clients?

My clients need to be willing to put in the work. My programs are not for those who just want a little help here and there – they need to be willing to put in the time and energy to make this happen. They also need to be willing to dig deep and shift some significant beliefs and negative thought patterns in order to set themselves up for success.

Is there a universal strategy that works for all dating advices?

I hate to sound like a broken record but becoming self aware is key to a successful dating life, relationship and life in general. Once you are on a path to self-awareness it is important to, not only, accept yourself for who you are, what you’ve done and what you want, but also really love yourself. True confidence comes from being fully comfortable with the wonderful uniqueness of who you are – “flaws” and “quirks” included!

Also I must add the importance of being safe while dating. Take precaution before giving out your personal information or agreeing to meet. 1. Get to know them via phone before meeting them in person (texting alone is not enough). 2. Try to verify that they are who they say they are and that they are telling you the truth (Search them on social media and Circuit Court/Public Records sites) 3. Drive separately. 4. Tell others where you will be and who you will be with. 5. Always – always trust your gut. If something doesn’t feel right – don’t continue.

Is there a specific trait that prevents someone from having a successful relationship?

There are quite a few actually. However, one consistent problem I see in failing relationships is an unwillingness to take responsibility and admit faults. Instead, blame becomes prominent which causes resentment and frustration. Fondness and appreciation then dwindles which inevitably breaks down the relationship. This pitfall can be overcome if each partner asks themselves “what can I do different to make this relationship better?”

Sheri Maass

How have apps such as Tinder and online dating sites changed the way of dating?

Dating sites and apps have completely changed dating as we know it today. Like with most technological advances, there are positive and negative consequences. One positive is we now have quick, easy access to millions of singles at our fingertips. We have the ability to consider so many different characteristics, interests, personalities and beliefs without leaving our couch. This is a great way to consider what you want and do not want before even contacting anyone. This is also a great way to recognize that our world is so big and that there are plenty of options out there. This recognition eliminates many people’s limited perceptions of what is available.

The negative, however, can also mean so many options...how do we choose? This can cause a “grass is greener” mentality leading many to fear commitment – always holding out for something better that may come along. Now there is nothing wrong with desiring to just date around for the rest of your life if you feel perfectly content doing so. It is, however, a problem when you fear commitment – which can actually become subconscious turmoil and can manifest negatively in other areas of your life.

If there’s one piece of advice you’d have for singles who are looking for a partner, what would it be?

Get to know yourself, then love yourself. Don’t expect someone else to do that for you. That’s quite a responsibility for someone else to carry. You are unique and beautiful and love is always available to you. You simply need to choose to see it and be it.

Our dating coach interview does not end here. Check back our blog next week and read the dating and relationship advice from UK top dating coach, James Preech. And don’t miss our last week interview with Deni Abbie as well :)

Interview with A Top Tier Dating Coach: Deni Abbie



comments
by Vic Corts | 6:15 a.m. | July 1st 2016

If we are asked what the most important thing in life is, dating and relationships are going to be the answer for so many people. It is human nature to seek relationships with others. Some may do it for fun and some do it to create a new life.

There are not many people in the world who can give better dating advice than top tier dating coaches. They are professionals possessing masterful skill in dating and flirting with all types of people. Not just that, they are best at interpersonal skills as well as philosophy and sociology.

Because of their knowledge, these dating coaches are well-known for bringing a successful dating life to their clients. Our dating coach for today's interview is Deni Abbie from lovinglife.us. Being a dating coach and a hypnotherapist, she is using an effective approach called “Positive Suggestion Techniques” providing quick results yet persisting benefits to her clients.

Let's hear what she has to say about the life of a dating coach.

What life experience made you decide that you would like to be a dating coach?

My own personal experience of being married for years, and then getting back in the dating arena, initiated my passion to help others navigate the dating world in a healthy successful manner.

I became aware of the many pitfalls of dating and wanted to help educate people on how to date more successfully.

It doesn’t matter if you are 20 and just starting out, or 70 and starting over, it all pertains to understanding key elements to being a smart dater. I knew that I could help people, and wanted to make a difference.

What was your dating life like before you became a coach?

I believe my dating life was very similar to many other’s, I dated based on chemistry, if I met someone I was attracted to I dated them. The problem with this is that chemistry fades and you are left with do I like this person and are we a good match?

How does being a dating coach affect your own love life? Do you apply the same rules and matching techniques to your dating habits?

Deni AbbieI trained to become a Coach and started learning about relationships and dating. I did a lot of studying and researching, focusing on making it my expertise. During the process you also learn about yourself and that is key in healthy dating as well as Coaching.

I absolutely use the practices I suggest in my own dating life. If you are not following the advice you give others in your own life, then you do not truly believe it is effective.

What is the most important thing when giving relationship advice to your client?

Honesty is the most important thing you can give your client. You are in a partnership with your client to help them achieve their goals. If you are not completely honest with them you cannot help them.

I believe that everyone has the ability to succeed if they believe in themselves, and, they believe they can succeed. We work together to gain the ability to learn to believe in themselves.

What is the most asked question from your client and why?

How can I tell if they are the right person for me or not?” People are trying to find out if the person they are going on a date with is ” the one”. They are trying to get past the chemistry and concentrate on how to tell if they are a good fit.

To do this first you need to know exactly what you want before you go on a date and then there are keys to listening and asking questions to find out if they have the qualities you are looking for?

Do you have requirements for you clients?

They have to have the desire to be open to emotional growth and a new thought process; that is all I require.

Is there a specific trait that prevents someone from having a successful relationship?

Deni Abbie, a dating coach from DallasEmotional Unavailability is the most destructive of all traits in being able to have a successful relationship. There are many traits that are bad (Narcissists, Sociopaths, passive aggressive etc,) but a person that is emotionally unavailable will subconsciously sabotage every relationship they are in and never be aware they are doing it consciously.

How have apps such as Tinder and online dating changed the ways of dating?

Online dating has opened up access so that people are able to have a much larger dating spectrum. You are no longer stuck dating the boy/girl next door.

You can date the person across the city, state or continent. Online dating due to the ease and opportunity is the wave of future dating.

Safety is important when you are online dating; spend time verifying the person you are talking to up front., there are scam artist out there.

If there were one piece of advice you have for singles that are looking for a partner, what would it be?

Be your authentic self from the very start when you meet someone. Know that if this person does not see the value in you, as you are ,they are not the right one for you. You will be fortunate enough to find someone that appreciates all of the wonderful qualities you have to offer.

Never create yourself falsely for somebody, to win his or her affection. If they do not love you for who you are, it is their loss, move on!

Interview with A Top Tier Dating Coach: Marina Lavochin



comments
by Vic Corts | midnight | June 24th 2016

If we are asked what the most important thing in life is, dating and relationships are going to be the answer for so many people. It is human nature to seek relationships with others. Some may do it for fun and some do it to create a new life.

There are not many people in the world who can give better dating advice than top tier dating coaches. They are professionals possessing masterful skill in dating and flirting with all types of people. Not just that, they are best at interpersonal skills as well as philosophy and sociology.

Because of their knowledge, these dating coaches are well-known for bringing a successful dating life to their clients. As promised in our last interview with Kezia Noble, our dating coach for today's interview is Marina Lavochin, a dating coach from Seattle with the concept of Alter Ego. Marina has been successfully helping her clients to get relationship result they want by providing a different perspective and detailed tips and tricks based on her personal life experiences.

Let's hear what she has to say about the life of a dating coach.

What life experience made you decide that you would like to be a dating coach?

Hmm, which specific life experience made me get into this? I'm not sure there's just one. I've always been good at problem solving and giving blunt advice, so combining that with my own experiences in the dating world seemed like a logical move. I also love helping people, however I'm able to. Seeing how my tips and advice helped my guy friends with their own confidence and understand women better inspired me to help as many great guys out there as possible.

marina lavochin

What was your dating life like before you became a dating coach?

I was in a serious relationship, actually was engaged and called off a wedding a few months before starting dating coaching. The relationship was a very challenging one and it was affecting me in a lot of ways. I lost my confidence, started becoming more and more consumed with the relationship and wanted to understand what was going on with myself and us as a couple. I started reading a lot of books about relationships, psychology, etc. After discovering the book "Attached" I understood so much about myself and my ex, how our attachment styles were clashing and how we spoke completely different love languages. The relationship fell apart but I became almost obsessed with studying more about the topic and my desire to help others awoke.

How does being a dating coach affect your own love life? Do you apply the same rules and matching techniques to your own dating habits?

Haha, I knew this question was gonna be on the list! I'm pretty open about my own life and journey, so I'm comfortable sharing this. I use my own stories, experiences and examples with clients all the time and sometimes even blog about my personal love life when I feel gutsy enough.

I own love life is definitely affected - it sucks most of the time, to be completely honest. Dating was super hard for me because guys got intimidated instantly when learning about my profession. Jealousy also comes into play because of how much time I spend with single guys, usually on weekends and evenings. I'm lucky to have found a guy who's confident enough to handle my job and understands my passion and need to help others in my own way.

We still have to work through a lot of the normal things most couples have to, but he gets the bonus of having me try to tell him what to do all the time ????. And no, I definitely didn't follow my own rules to a t when it came to the first date. When your boundaries are healthy those "rules" can pretty much go out the window. I don't personally need to just have a 20 min first date or stay away from certain topics. Our first date was probably 7 or 8 hours long and we spilled all of our crap, ex's, worst habits, everything. It was pretty funny. We pretty much just said "this is me, the good the bad, the ugly - still want to do this?"

What is the most important thing when giving relationship advice to your client?

Marina Lavochin talking to her clientEvery client is different and the advice has to be specific to their own situation and whatever they're dealing with. We're all just humans with different lessons we need to learn, with different preferences and wants/needs. Advice has to incorporate all of those factors.

What is the most asked question from your client? And why?

"What's wrong with women???" Just kidding. I'm not sure if there's just one question that comes up over and over. I'd say it's specific to the women they messaged or texted and wondering why someone didn't reply or vanished. Rejection sucks and we all want to understand why.

Do you have some requirements for your clients?

Yes. I only take on clients who are genuine and good guys inside. I'd never work with someone who just wants to become a player and pick up chicks to boost his ego. I'm very selective when it comes to saying yes to a client.

The guys also have to be successful in other areas of their life. Most of my clients have great careers and have great friendships, ability to create structure in their lives and are responsible adults. I'm not qualified to offer coaching to someone who's hopeless, irresponsible, or doesn't have passion or direction in life. Those successes in other areas of their life are necessary in order for my coaching to be productive.

Is there a universal strategy that works for all dating advices?

Yes and no. Yes, because it's just someone's personal journey and the strategy of:

  • Get confident
  • Go on lots of dates to get practice and feel desirable while learning what you like and need in a relationship

And No, because every person will have different things they need to overcome through that process. Some will have a hold up about their appearance, or their living situation, or their upbringing, or past history.

Others will have a fear of intimacy and being vulnerable with someone. Every person has their own bag of shit that's been collected through their entire life and how I help is by identifying it as just that, shit. Bullshit belief that won't go away until awareness is brought to it and experiences are created to prove it wrong.

Is there a specific trait that prevents someone from having a successful relationship?

This is a hard one. I'd say being stubborn is probably the one I'd pick. Someone who's very stuck in their own ways and not open to seeing things in a different light, from a different perspective. Relationships aren't about winning. They're about understanding, support, and growing together.

How have apps such as Tinder and online dating sites changed the way of dating?

Marina Lavochin on her matchmaking serviceThey've made it much easier to meet singles and pre-qualify people a little better. I think they're awesome if you know what you're doing.

The other result is people's lack of investment into getting to know someone. Having so many options and knowing that you can get 5 other dates lined up in a matter of minutes prevents a lot of people from truly connecting. A couple may go on a date and someone may not be in the best mood or maybe the conversation wasn't as exciting as it could have been, and people give up. We expect fireworks and shooting stars in order to give someone another chance, which prevents relationships from forming.

If there’s one piece of advice you’d have for singles who are looking for a partner, what would it be?

I get asked this all the time .

MALES - This is directed to Single, available men who want a relationship: Take Charge!

Get confident with your appearance, master your body language, learn to be in control of situations by being intentional and leading, and stop asking so many questions. Just share your wants, desires, goals, and start leading it there. If the girl isn't into it, she'll tell you. If she is, she'll be along for the ride. Asking only creates delays, confusion, and wastes precious time that you could be spending actually living those dream moments you want.

FEMALES - again, this is directed to Single, available females who want a relationship: Be More Feminine!

I usually get eaten alive when I summarize it like that and tell women to be more girly, but it's all about understanding feminine energy and masculine energy. I struggle with this one myself and have to constantly remind myself to let go of needing to feel in control and manage everything while allowing and encouraging the man to be in charge.

It's about acknowledging their strengths, their need to have a purpose and a destination, and us being the ones who either say Yes, I want that to be my lifestyle and I am passionate about supporting this man's goals and live out his purpose or No, this guy is not the one for me. I don't want to lead the relationship, constantly nag about unmet needs, always suggest what he should do and point out things he's doing wrong while not respecting and trusting him enough to be in charge of the big picture. It's our role as women to choose. We can offer encouragement and add to the relationship a lot but we shouldn't choose men whom we don't trust enough allowing us to sit back knowing that we're on the right track.

Our dating coach interview does not end here. Check back our blog next week and read the dating and relationship advice from the Deni Abbie, a dating coach and a hypnotherapist with “Positive Suggestion Techniques” from Dallas.

Interview with A Top Tier Dating Coach: Kezia Noble



comments
by Vic Corts | 10:42 a.m. | June 9th 2016

If we are asked what the most important thing in life is, dating and relationships are going to be the answer for so many people. It is human nature to seek relationships with others. Some may do it for fun and some do it to create a new life.

There are not many people in the world who can give better dating advice than top tier dating coaches. They are professionals possessing masterful skill in dating and flirting with all types of people. Not just that, they are best at interpersonal skills as well as philosophy and sociology.

Because of their knowledge, these dating coaches are well-known for bringing a successful dating life to their clients. As promised in our last interview with Hunt Ethridge, our dating coach for today's interview is Kezia Noble. She is a leading dating and attraction expert for men, and author of the bestselling book ‘The Noble Art Of Seducing Women’. As a founder and CEO of Kezia Noble (http://www.kezia-noble.com/), Kezia has helped over ONE MILLION men to become more successful with women.

Let's hear what she has to say about the life of a dating coach.

What life experience made you decide that you would like to be a dating coach?

Kezia Noble, a Famous Dating Coach from UKMy interest in social dynamics, mind management, confidence building and self-marketing are the main reasons for why I felt the role of a dating and attraction expert was the right for me, but also, I believe that my no-nonsense, direct and fiercely honest nature are facets of my character that lend well to giving advice to people who want REAL results as opposed to people who just want to hear ‘sugar coated encouragement that only serve to massage their egos.

What was your dating life like before you became a dating coach?

I dated a variety of men. From young to old. From poor to rich. From clowns to intellectuals. It’s this variety that essentially makes me a good attraction coach. I don’t pay too much attention on ‘types’. My prime focus is on ‘game’ which can transcend through any ‘specific types’. These days I’m far more aware when someone is nervous, when someone has inner confidence rather than a fake brashness. I’ve become more alert to the telltale signs compared to before I become a dating expert.

How does being a dating coach affect your own love life? Do you apply the same rules and matching techniques to your own dating habits?

I certainly do apply my own advice to my dating life. It’s extremely difficult to resist the temptation to text a guy I like straight back, or to put someone I desire in cold storage, but I know these kinds of tactics, as infantile as they may at first seem, really do produce strong results. Being a mother of a small child, it makes the dating game even more tricky, but I’m having fun experimenting with this particular situation.

What is the most important thing when giving relationship advice to your client?

I always tell my clients that they need to keep focusing time and energy on things going on outside of the relationship. We love the idea of being the prime focus of someone’s attention but in reality it can be extremely overwhelming, and dare I say it, a little needy. You always need to keep up with your hobbies, interests and social life. Otherwise, your partner could become a little complacent and bored. Always remember what it was that made them attracted to you in the first place too.

What is the most asked question from your client? And why?

Interview with Kezia NobleHow do I stop getting friend zoned? This is the result of two very common sticking points, which are coming across as too much of a Mr Nice Guy and not being able to flirt or sexually escalate the interaction/relationship. Staying in the Friend-zone is a frustrating experience but many people subconsciously choose it because it’s also a safe zone.

Do you have some requirements for your clients?

Only that they do as they're told, if they start mixing my advice with friends advice then the process will take a lot longer, and conflicting opinions can confuse my clients and result in them giving up all together.

Is there a universal strategy that works for all dating advices?

Yes, a man or woman must first make sure the person they like respects them. Without respect there can’t be any real attraction.

Is there a specific trait that prevents someone from having a successful relation?

Yes, it’s not having the confidence or ‘know how’ to escalate the relationship into the direction they wish it to go. Whether that means making bold first move to actually approach someone in the first place or taking incremental steps within the interaction to take it to the next phase.

How have apps such as Tinder and online dating sites changed the way of dating?

It has affected peoples social skills quite a lot. People spend a great deal of time on perfecting their profiles and messages in order to convey cool, confident and charismatic personas, and believe that 80% of the job is getting the other person to agree to meet. In actual fact, that’s probably the easiest part! The hard part is being consistent with that online persona when you both meet in real life.

If there’s one piece of advice you’d have for singles who are looking for a partner, what would it be?

Make dating just an extra part of your life rather than your entire life. People can pick up on desperation from miles away. No one wants to be with the person who is obsessed on finding ‘the one’. We want someone who has an active social life, interests, hobbies and passions and a contentment that is not ultimately governed or determined by whether they find someone or not. Now that’s attractive!

We would like to end an interview with Kezia's dating advice video on YouTube that is currently having over 5 million views "how to make her want you".

Our dating coach interview does not end here. Check back our blog next week and read the dating and relationship advice from the Seattle dating coach with Alter Ego concept, Marina Lavochin.

7 Books that Tremendously Improve Your Dating Skills



comments
by Vic Corts | 9 p.m. | June 2nd 2016

Every individual has been attracted or will be attracted to someone at a certain point in life. Being social animals, the urge to seek out a partner more often than not expresses itself once a person becomes an adolescent. Despite the fact that attraction comes naturally many people experience a challenge expressing their feelings and desires towards their intended partners. As a result, acquiring the requisite dating skills has emerged as one of the most pressing needs in the 21st century. This review of some of the bestselling dating books skills aims at helping individuals hone the requisite skills in today’s dating arena.

Swoon

By: Betsy Prioleau

swoon book coverPrioleau in her book Swoon allows her readers to indirectly experience the dating exploits of renowned ‘seductionists’ such as Casanova. The book also explores how the dating scene has changed in recent years as the social scene has slowly embraced same-sex relations. What makes ‘Swoon’ a must have for people entering the dating scene is the author’s ability to effectively express how skills espoused by famed libertines such as Casanova can be used to win over someone’s heart. Men love what they work hard for, because to them, easy come easy go. However, this notion does not imply that women should just lay back and wait for men to be their knight in shining armour. The main point is the fact that men have forgotten how to pursue women with the utmost sincerity. Chasing after a man can be catastrophic because men love the women they run after and not the ones they run away from. Men literally worship their freedom, and as hard as it may sound chasing after something that does not want to be caught can be downright and exhausting.

Never chase men again

By: Bruce Bryans

Never Chase Men AgainNever Chase Men Again: 38 Dating Secrets to Get the Guy, Keep Him Interested, and Prevent Dead-End Relationships by Bruce Bryans got published in 2015. The book serves to show women how men appraise how women behave in a bid to determine their value and level of self-respect as a romantic partner. It allows the readers to discover the unchanging seduction secrets and dating do’s and don’ts. By getting an insight into the canons of dating, a woman can evade catastrophic dating frustrations and keep away from appearing desperate or even needy. Some of the lessons to be learnt in the book include: The common mistakes committed by women during dating that compel men to “run away for good or keep off from dating in the 21st century. The dating rules for protecting “good women” who often feel exploited and mishandled by the common notorious promiscuous men. Some of the most aggravating and hurting habits that cause high-esteemed men to stop pursuing women instantaneously. How to keep a man interested, attracted, and focused on you with an unwavering loyalty level. The most domineering form of male seduction that keeps a woman destitute and powerlessly chasing after a man.

The modern day dating seems very devious and highly problematic. It remains marked by unending rough situations and frustrations. Even with all the texting, snap chatting, Facebooking, tindering, and Tweeting, communication between individuals remains “uncommunicative”. People would rather “hang out” than take dating with the much seriousness it deserves. The heightening Hangouts have made men sit back waiting for women to make the move. It should be clearly noted that in the past, men were the hunters and gatherers. As prescribed by nature, they ought to be the initiators of the relationships. Research shows that the most successful relationships come about when men become the initiators or make the first move. Relationships that begin as a result of women chasing after men do not have a happy ending. In his book, Bruce Bryans highly discourages women from chasing after men. According to him, chasing after a man kills the thrill of dating.

Ignore the Guy, Get the Guy: The Art of No Contact

By: Leslie Braswell

Ignore the Guy: The art of no contactThe above book serves as an “instruction manual” to the dating life. It reminds women about maintaining their standards and loving themselves above anything else. Being a single woman in this century seems gruelling because it implies that one has to be selective, smart and even sexy. Furthermore, it alludes that one has options to choose. Matters of the heart have always been complicated because the heart wants what it wants at all costs in most cases. The heart cannot be taught to “unlove” and it cannot get “Unbroken” and that’s a really harsh reality about life. The books enable women to learn how to prevent their men from losing interest, how to handle their emotions and a breakup among many other benefits.

Men Don’t Love Women Like You

By: G.L Lambert

Men Dont Love Women Like YouMen Don’t Love Women Like You by G.L Lambert is a breakthrough that speaks the brutal truth about dating. It does not seem like just any other book rather it is meant to be the step to step guide to evolution. It will break you down and bring you right back as quoted by the famous Beyoncé Knowles. The book provides real-life knowledge and information about dating and how to successfully work your way through it. The best thing about the book is that it presents facts as they are without “sugar-coating” or leaving out any crucial information. It stresses more on moving from a placeholder to a game changer. G.L Lambert, in his book, mainly aims at enhancing people’s dating skills.

The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P

By: Adelle Waldman

The Love Affairs of Nathaniel PThe love Affairs of Nathaniel P’ by Adelle Waldman book was first published in 2013. It clearly spells out the love affairs of Nate, P, a young man in search of happiness, and an inside on how he thinks about women. Nathaniel, P, a writer and a rising star has his pick of both women and magazines. When one of his relationships starts growing, he is compelled to consider what he really wants. One of the many problems facing modern dating revolves around the indecisiveness of some individuals. Adelle Waldman throws us into the flaws of the modern man. It reveals a man who thinks himself as beyond apparent judgement, even though he struggles with anxiety. Despite being drawn to women, he lets them down regularly, and this makes him an emblem of our times. The book provides insight into the dating world where people worry about breaking up with regards to how extensively they have invested in the relationship. Kate Hudson says, “This is excellent! Adelle Waldman writes a witty, relatable, and insightful novel about modern dating.”

The Five Flirting Styles: Use the Science of Flirting to Attract the Love You Really want

By: Jeffrey Hall

The Five Flirting StylesThe Five Flirting Styles’ by Jeffrey Hall revolves around identifying the natural flirting styles whether playful, physical, polite, traditional and sincere. The flirting styles to aid in making individuals flirt smarter and attract the love of their lives. The book enables individuals to discover where to search for love depending on their style. It also serves to make people tell if someone is interested so as to avoid missed opportunities. Jeffrey Hall also makes readers tell if someone wants a serious relationship or they want a quick fling. Understanding our flirting styles serves as one of the ways to enhancing our dating techniques. Flirting techniques have a significant impact on people’s love lives.

 

The Dating Playbook For Men: A Proven 7 Step System to go from Single to the Woman of your Dreams

By: Andrew Ferebee

The Dating Playbook for MenThe Dating Playbook for Men enables men to move from single frustrated bachelors to having the woman of their dreams. To continue, through the book, individuals are able to turn the barriers preventing them from chasing the women of their dreams. One of the most crucial goals of men in life has always been the ability to pursue and conquer the love of their life. It enables men to derive an unexplainable sense of pride that emanates from deep within. In most cases, it makes them abundantly motivated about life. The book enables men to turn obstacles like the fear of rejection in allies. Apart from this, the book enables men to build a fascinating social life that can be envied by other men. Through the book, men get to understand what women desire or want. One of the greatest causes of failure in dating embodies men’s inability to understand what women want. Even though it remains an uphill task to understand the desires of women due to their volatile nature, men’s lack of interest makes the situation worse. Sometimes a great mystery encompasses the art of understanding women. The first step to unveiling the mystery is using a guide from men and women of wisdom as in Andrew Ferebee’s book.

Tweet