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If your partner have been cheating on you, hopefully, they haven't been doing it through Ashley Madison. That's because their names have just been revealed to everyone who has Internet access, which probably includes you, your BFFs, your muscular big brother who's into CrossFit, your long-time nanny whose migrant family is rumored to hail from the Italian mafia, and whoever they agreed to be faithful to. For those who have been faithful in the relationship, what should you do if you find that your partner was using Ashley Madison?
Breathe A Sigh of Relief
Finding out that your partner has been cheating on you is the worst feeling in the world. However, at least you will know who your husband or wife has been sleeping with. Thank God, they're not with the babysitter, the nanny, your secretary, or your gardener named Jose. While you can always find someone new to share your life with, it's almost impossible to find reliable and trustworthy help these days.
Admit to Your Own Affair
In most relationships that involve two people who aren't on the same page anymore, both parties will eventually resort to having an affair. If you've been having an affair of your own too, this is the right time to come out of the closet. The if-you-can-do-it-I-can-do-it-too alibi will work perfectly well in this situation.
Look Forward to Your Payday
If you've been faithful to a T, you should have no problem getting the house, alimony and pretty much anything else that you want in the divorce settlement. Once your significant other has been outed as the cheater, the last thing he or she will want to happen is let the jury or the divorce lawyer know about it. Now you can laugh all the way to the bank, every time you try to blackmail, uh erase that, threat him to sue for divorce.
It Could Actually Be What Your Marriage Needs
On a serious note, finding out that your partner is on such a list could just be that he or she wanted to explore in the bedroom department. Maybe both of you could benefit from an open marriage, swinging or having threesomes with others who are looking for some variety in their sex lives. At worst, you now know that your partner isn't what you want and need, which means that you can start to look for someone who is better for you.
Take Advantage of the Guilt Feeling to Get Your Own Way
Assuming that your cheating partner is willing to salvage any type of relationship with you and your children, you can guilt him or her into taking the kids while you are having fun somewhere. It is important to note that you should only leave children with an adult when it is safe to do so. Otherwise, you might have to opt for a staycation or send them to your parent's house for a few days.
Make Your Own Fantasies Come True
Have you had a thing for that red-haired woman next door or for the Starbucks barrista where you get your coffee each day? Now is your chance to make your move for real. If you have ever wanted to have sex on the beach without ordering at the bar first, you have the freedom to do so without any strings attached.
If you find that your partner has been using an infidelity website behind your back, it is not the end of the world. You will eventually find someone who loves you while your partner will try to get you back when his or her latest fling is over. As an added bonus, you know that the next person to commit to can't possibly cheat on you using the Ashley Madison website.
The Filipino-foreigner pairing is really nothing new. The Philippine shores have always played host to a wide array of foreigners throughout history – Chinese, Malays, Indonesians, Spanish, Japanese, and Americans. These people were so enthralled by the beauty of the Philippines and its peoples that they found themselves wanting to stay and conquer more than just farmlands, spices and pearls.
If you don’t believe me, all you have to do is drop by one of the foreigner-frequented Starbucks in the upscale Greenbelt mall and watch interracial couples pass by the dozen. Some of them look like typical couples while some have crossed that line into the unconventional. But, truth be told, these Filipino-foreigner couples always get a second glance from the gossips who delight in speculating about strangers' romantic lives.
Despite the occasional jeers, perhaps some of these gossip girls and folks just want a Caucasian man (or woman) to call their own. We all know someone who knows somebody who knows a foreigner. Talk to any relative of yours who has a co-worker whose cousin's brother-in-law's friend knows some Irish man who's looking for a Filipina date. It's a long shot, but let them set you up on a blind date and see where it goes. If that doesn't work, there's always online dating.
At first glance, a Filipino dating a foreigner seems strange. Some Filipinos would consider you either lucky or odd if you're dating a white, black or Latin man. Others would even see striking similarities between going out with a Caucasian and winning the lottery, but that perception couldn’t be any farther from the truth. As someone who went a step further and actually married an Italian man, I can tell you that it’s just like a walk in the park – the Jurassic Park.
So that you don't go around cultivating strange (and false) ideas, let me enlighten you to some struggles and misconceptions that only a Filipina dating or marrying a foreigner will understand:
1. Food is such a big deal to us Filipinos that it sometimes seems as if we're always so consumed by thoughts of what to eat, and where. If you find yourself scoffing at this, get back to me when you're actually living with your white loverboy, eating salad instead of lechon kawali (crispy pork fried to arteries-clogging perfection) for breakfast. All is well when you're on a date with your Italian lover, and he takes you to fancy restaurants to impress you. That is, until you actually live with him and find out that all he wants to have for breakfast is a shot of espresso. You, on the other hand, want to wolf down a plate of tapsilog (sliced beef over rice, with fried egg) which, in turn, makes him nauseous just looking at it.
I have always considered myself well-adjusted, having spent ten or so years working in a cruise ship surrounded by a lot of different nationalities, but still, this experience did little to dampen the shock I experienced when I first moved to Italy. I love Pizza Hut as much as the next Filipino, but I can't eat a family-sized pizza in one sitting the way Italians do.