Reviews and Price Comparisons of Online Dating Sites

Recommended Gamers’ Cafes for Geeks in Bangkok



comments
by Vic Corts | 8:37 a.m. | May 1st 2016

Bangkok knows what you want and it graciously gives it to you: a pulsing night scene, iconic temples, shopping malls and night markets. It is a city that has launched hundreds of ‘Top 10 Things to Do in Bangkok’ listicles that seem to suggest that Bangkok has nothing else to offer other than temples and street food. These listicles often neglect to mention Bangkok’s budding reputation as a hobby hub that offers thrills to both hobbyists and casual gamers. The Thai capital rarely conjures the image of a city brimming with gamers’ cafés, and that ought to change.

Sitting quietly among quirky bistros, posh bars and ‘best restaurants’ are gamers’ and geeky cafes that have been proliferating in Bangkok for some time. They provide a refreshing change of dating scenery for lovebirds who couldn’t stand to have another date night at an over-decorated and overpriced rooftop bar. When you’re engaging in something that requires two-way (sometimes 7-way when you’re playing a board game) communication, there’s just the slightest chance that frequenting a gamers café could do wonders for your dating life.

Why the Dating Game is Easier to Play in Gamers’ Cafés

The growing number of theme cafes and restaurants in Bangkok has caused most gamers’ cafes to fade into the background. Most Bangkok residents only visit gamers’ cafes because they’re new or when options seem limited. Certified geeks and nerds in Bangkok, however, have been enjoying gamers’ cafes for some time now, while non-gamers and hobbyists are only just beginning to discover them and finding the strangeness of most of these cafes to be a nice surprise.

If you feel like the novelty of going to another fad restaurant is fizzling out, it’s about time you consider gamers’ cafés as an alternative, and increase your chances of scoring further. If you have been harboring a secret genius for Uno, you can unleash this secret on date night and, voila! Instant unforgettable dating moment. Playing a little game of Monopoly lets you peek in to your significant other’s capacity for making life-changing decisions such as knowing when to sell or buy a real estate property, even if the property is just a piece of plastic. Gamers’ cafes provide an avenue to really get to know someone in unexpected ways – something you don’t normally experience in a night out in Seenspace or RCA.

When a date is a choice between seeing a brainless superhero origin movie that has repeatedly been rebooted for the benefit of those who missed it the first 25 times and sitting in an overcrowded restaurant, that’s your cue to play around with your dating options in Bangkok. Try these gamers’ cafes where being called ‘geek’ is almost always a term of endearment.

1. Meeples & More Board Game Café

This unassuming yet charming two-story café is ideal for both board game lovers and lovers who love board games. With a good selection of over 60 games in stock (Go crazy over games such as Three Little Pigs or Food Chain Magnate), it would be impossible to be bored at Meeples & More. Most of the games are in good condition and the comfortable sofas and cheery décor are major pluses. 50 baht gets you an hour of playtime while 150 lets you go on a full-day board game spree – ideal if you intend to try most of the games and stay for more than 3 hours (because why wouldn’t you?). The food menu, while limited, includes a decent selection of rice meals, pastries and drinks.

Food Price: ~100 THB
Opening Hours: 2:00 PM – 11:00 PM on Tuesday – Friday and 11:00 AM – 11:00 PM on Saturday - Sunday
Location: Ruam Rudee Village, 5 minutes' walk from BTS Phloen Chit station
Google Map:https://goo.gl/maps/oCEzQRyqbBP2
Official Site: https://www.facebook.com/meeplesandmore/

Meeples and More Board Game Cafe

2. More Than a Game Café

While more ideal as a place to hang out with friends or family, More Than a Game Café is also terrific for couples that enjoy being in the company of giddy gamers. The café’s three branches – Chulalongkorn, I’M Park Community Mall, Thong Lo 13 – all have a large catalogue of adult and kids’ games, some of which are displayed and sold. Their food menu is one of the varied among gamers’ cafes: sweet and savory waffles are their specialty and the coffee and smoothie selection includes more than just basic brews.

The place can get a little noisy due to the large presence of families with kids, but that is just a testament to its fun atmosphere, which makes it such a big draw with families and the gaming crowd. Get a membership for you and your special someone so you could get all the benefits and scheduling a second (or third) date won’t be such a hassle.

Food Price: ~50-150 THB
Opening Hours: 11:00 AM - 9:00 PM, on Monday – Friday and 10.00 AM– 9.00 PM on Saturday and Sunday
Thong Lo 13 Branch Location: Soi Sukhumvit 49/4 (Soi Akkharaphat), 15 minutes walk from Thong lo BTS Station
Google Map: https://goo.gl/maps/KHjvkED2Qgo
Official Site: http://www.morethanagamecafe.com/

More Than a Game Cafe

3. Ninive Game Cafe

Pizza and play go well together on date night, and Ninive Game Café offers just that. Although it is, mainly, a store for games distributor Ninive Game Store’s games, whose most prominent product is The Settlers of Catan, this café lets you pick from impressive hundreds of games to playfor free!

The store/café, located in Phra Khanong, is great for late-night date nights because of its late opening hours

Food Price: ~100-250 THB
Opening Hours: 2:00 AM - 1:00 AM, Daily
Location: 1108/13-14 Sukumvit Plus Soy 1, 4 minutes walk from Phra Khaning BTS Station
Google Map: https://goo.gl/maps/E7ejf4YBufN2
Official Site: http://www.ninivegames.com/en/

Ninive Game Cafe

4. Boarding Time Board Game Café

Boarding Time doesn’t have the most impressive furniture around but its modest interior houses just as many games as those of other gamers’ cafés in Bangkok. Unlike its bigger peers that boast of having the largest stock of board games, Boarding Time Board Game Café delights in its own humble way. If you and your beloved want to be impressed with game selection quality, then this café is definitely worth a visit. Its small space ensures you get a personalized service and there is a noticeable sense of community among patrons. Menu is limited to a few sandwich and burger items but you will eat up the company, community and fun – the stuff that first dates are made of.

The café is conveniently accessible through BTS (Phloen Chit station) and is open daily from 2:00 PM – 12:00 AM.

Food Price: ~100-250 THB
Opening Hours: 2:00 PM - 12:00 AM, Daily
Location: 888/20 Soi Mahatun Building, 2 minutes walk from Phloen Chit BTS Station
Google Map: https://goo.gl/maps/43L554VeEn52
Official Site: http://boardingtimegames.com/

Boarding Time Board Game Cafe

5. Bitbox Boardgame Café

Bitbox is among the few no-frills board game cafés ideal for couples that are already going steady. For extremely casual dates – one that involves friend tag-alongs – Bitbox is one of the better options. The place tend to draw a much younger crowd, perhaps because of its straightforward approach to service: a handful of games and a few refreshments. Some drinks are served in quirky mason jars and if you’re lucky, you get one with a cat-shaped foam. Deserts and other food items are priced somewhere between 80 to 100 baht, and you can buy toys, too.

Food Price: ~80-100 THB
Opening Hours: 2:30 PM - 12:00 AM, Daily
Location: Soi Amornphan, Phaholyothin Rd, 3.5 km from Phahon Yothin MRT Station
Google Map: https://goo.gl/maps/RdEynhBpxSp
Official Site: http://www.bitboxcafe.com/

Bitbox Boardgame Cafe

6. Kopi-O Board Game Café

This museum-like café, located in Sukhumvit Soi 33, was founded by a board game aficionado, which should explain its huge selection of common and rare board games. The sheer volume of games can be a bit overwhelming but that is a problem that you and your lover surely wouldn’t mind having. Selection of food is minimal but that is hardly an issue when you consider that it stores over 800 board games and card games – enough to keep your brain and gaming juices flowing. Helpful staff members would gladly explain some of the games including those that are for sale.

Food Price: ~100-250 THB
Opening Hours: 12:00 PM - 10:00 PM, Daily
Location: Sukumvit 33, 15 minutes walk from Phrom Phong BTS Station
Google Map: https://goo.gl/maps/miKPoohBgbU2
Official Site: https://www.facebook.com/kopioboardgame/

Kopi-O Board Game Cafe

7. Battlefield Bangkok

You’ve heard that iconic line about love being a battlefield and you’ve no doubt experienced one (a battlefield-like love). In Battlefield Bangkok, you will experience no such thing as long as both of you mutually consent to having a day of romantic, geeky gaming fun. This is a great place to take your date to show off your gaming knowledge and, with stacks upon stacks of board games, toys, books and other items, choose the perfect gaming starter pack as anniversary or dating gift. It is free to try and play games at the store.

Food Price: -
Opening Hours: Wed-Thu: 3:00 PM - 10:00 PM, Fri: 3:00 PM - 11:00 PM, Sat-Sun: 12:30 PM - 11:00 PM
Location: Sukhumvit 101/1, 10 minutes walk from Punnawithi BTS Station
Google Map: https://goo.gl/maps/u24enUZjK2U2
Official Site: http://battlefieldbangkok.com/

Battlefield Bangkok

8. Game Over Lounge

Situated in one of Sukhumvit’s popular nighttime districts, Game Over Lounge is an ultra-chic gaming space and restaurant where nerdy couples can spontaneously combust in a fit of geeky euophoria. With ample seating, foosball and pool tables, RPG area, and board games scattered about in the lounge, a night out in this hobbyists’ paradise could lead to more geeky date nights. Game Over Lounge is also a nice respite from Thong Lo’s rowdy bars and numerous Japanese-themed restaurants, with its PS4 and Xbox consoles that you can enjoy with juicy burgers (by burger trucker Daniel Thaiger) and craft beers.

The lounge is open from 11.00 am – 2.00 am daily except Mondays.

Food Price: ~100-250 THB
Opening Hours: Tuesday – Sunday: 11:00 AM – 2:00 AM
Location: Sukumvit 55, 25 minutes' walk from Thong Lo BTS Station
Google Map: https://goo.gl/maps/SbduUkKPNX52
Official Site: http://www.gameover.co.th/

Game Over Lounge

Look around your neighborhood, as there are loads of these inconspicuous, cozy spaces that look more like a daycare center than a café. The Playz in Silom, for instance, is a joyful little joint that serves Star Wars-inspired milk, some coffee, pies and Nintendo. If you and your partner are in the mood for some kitsch, the Japanese-inspired Maid Café will more than satiate.

They may be serving just a relatively small community in Bangkok, but these gamers’ cafes have convivial ambience, mostly good menu offerings, and interesting little touches on décor, and personalized service in spades. Classy, romantic restaurants are nice, but flirting with playful dating ideas could help you level up faster in the dating game – the game where it hurts the most to lose!

Why You Should Date a Big Girl



comments
by Vic Corts | 3:54 p.m. | December 29th 2015

Cute BBWThe world doesn’t make it easy on big women to feel attractive. In fact, the world plays a major role in the big girls’ emotional battles of self-acceptance and having high self-esteem. The modeling industry is well-known for years of displaying skinny, anorexic looking models sporting a size 2 or 4 frame, in magazines, billboards, and on runways in fashion shows all over the world. The images of these thin, beautiful women is what has caused many people to believe that this is what you should look like to be beautiful. The truth is, women can be beautiful, no matter their size! Models like Melissa Aronson (known as Emme), Candice Huffine and Dana Elaine Owens, (known as Queen Latifah), have helped to redefine the look of beauty. As the world changes, women are getting bigger. The average woman is now a sexy size 12 and men have plenty of reasons to date these women, and other big beautiful women (BBW) of larger sizes.

Preference

It’s your preference! Do what you wish to do and don’t worry about what other people say. Some men do not prefer to date larger women and this is okay! Everyone has a preference as some men may choose to only date short women, tall women, women with long hair, women of a certain race and even some may prefer to not date women with children. Men who prefer to date big girls love them and would not have it any other way! They love the curvy hips, plump thighs, cushiony stomachs, big breasts, all the qualities that could come with being a voluptuous woman.

Affection

Everybody wants affection. Affection has been shown to reduce tension and stress, and can be a great end to a long hard day at work. Research shows that affection is as equally important to men as it is to women. Big girls are known to be very affectionate and cuddling with them is fun! Big girls have more to hug and more to feel on and squeeze and look forward to showing and receiving affection. Not only does affection help you, being affectionate helps your big and beautiful woman feel the love that she needs for emotional stability.

Personality

Your personality shows who you are. Perhaps this is the greatest quality that people may notice about bigger girls. They tend to have inner beauty that displays through their wonderful personalities! Big girls tend to have openness, a trait that makes them open to new experiences and trying new things, especially new foods. They are willing to go new places, especially with their man. Agreeableness is another personality trait that big girls have which measures the extent of a person’s warmth and kindness. Big girls with agreeableness are more compassionate and trustworthy and dependable. Big girls also tend to be extraverts who are very chatty, happy, and sociable, so they will be nice to bring to parties and family functions. Mature people see personalities as a great asset that far outweigh a person’s looks that overtime will change. Personalities are permanent traits, built into one’s DNA, so you can bet that the magnificent person you met today, will be the same in ten years!

Love for Food

Do you like to eat? Of course you do! Everybody loves to eat! It’s just that some people who love to eat deprive themselves of the things they want to eat in fear of getting fat. So every day they miss out on what they truly love to eat, instead of maybe eating small portions. There are many skinny chics who love to eat food but resort to drastic measures like binge eating and throwing up. Big girls don’t want to throw up their food and they hate to waste food. You don’t ever have to worry about big girls eating a fat-free yogurt cup as a meal and scolding you because you ate a big, fat juicy hamburger. Big girls will eat a hamburger with you. Big girls love to cook, love to go out to eat, love to talk about food, and will love to feed you. Big girls will cook you three meals a day, ensuring that you are well feed.

Fat juicy burger

Inspiration

Have you ever met a big girl who mentioned that she would love to lose weight, but just has a hard time doing so? You can play a large part in helping her. This is your opportunity to help someone accomplish a goal. Big girls would love to work out with someone who can motivate them to look and feel better about themselves, especially her man. You can take her walking outside in the park, around the neighborhood or to the gym. Be sure to let her know that you love her just the way she is, but if she desires to lose weight, you are more than willing to help her.

Loyalty

Big girls unfortunately may not have scores of guys chasing after them. They don’t tend to be head turners, but if you get to know them, you will find out what how great they can be. They are loyal to friends, their boyfriends, and husbands and not constantly looking for the next tall, dark, and handsome man to come into their lives. They are content with being with one person and make great companions physically and emotionally.

Companionship

Women, like men, come in different shapes and sizes and everyone sports their own unique look. If all men preferred small women, then big girls would forever be lonely. Big women need love, romance, companionship and want families as well. Big girls desire to be loved and want to feel beautiful and wanted. Big girls don’t want to sit in the park to simply watch other people strolling by, holding hands and hugging. They want to be at the park with their man having great conversation and alone time.

Confidence

There is nothing more attractive than a confident woman or man. As you sport your beautiful, big woman on your arm, you will be the envy of people who get a chance to see you. They will feel your confidence as you stroll in the park or at the mall or as you eat together. They will respect you and your preference to be with someone unique. They will see you as someone who doesn’t care what people think or say and know that you are happy and satisfied with who you are with. People will know that you are confident with your preference in women and this can help other men began to ponder about giving a big woman a chance. Your girl will also be confident as she will be with her man and skinny chics will wonder what she did to get you. You both will make a statement to everyone and they will know that there is something deeper than the weight issue and they will want to experience it as well.

Online Dating Sites to Meet a BBW

If you are looking to date a BBW, they can be easily found on different dating sites. BBWRomance.com is an online dating website that has a specific site dedicated to big and beautiful singles. If you want to meet a big and beautiful person, this is a great place to start. On this site, BBW can post pictures of themselves and feel comfortable knowing that the men who are viewing their pictures won’t worry about size. This takes the stress out of online dating and women and men can be free. There is a small monthly fee to join the site. Another site to meet BBW is LargeFriends.com. This site is free and easy to use and has many attractive big girls just waiting for that someone special or their ideal match. Chubbybunnie.com is another online dating website that caters to plus size singles. BBWcupid.com specializes in helping big men and women find each other and form lasting friendships or relationships. Again, members can feel free, relaxed, and comfortable as they share pictures of themselves with others who won’t look at them in disgust. After reading this article, men will be able to give a number of reasons why they should date a big, beautiful woman. Everyone has their own preference and men who like big girls are free to date and select whoever they wish as their mate. Big girls have great qualities which can make them great girlfriends or marriage partners. If you wish to find a big, beautiful woman, you can look around your neighborhoods because they are there. However, if you choose to date online, that is wonderful as well, as online dating is a great way to find out about the person to see if they are a perfect match.

Seven Dating Tips for Finding Love While You're Traveling



comments
by Vic Corts | 11:42 a.m. | December 7th 2015

Do you travel a ton? Are you always on the road and find it difficult to have a relationship because of it? Do you want to find lasting love with the people you come into contact with on your travels? It's quite possible to find a solid and fun relationship while you travel with a little work and determination. The dating world is a difficult one, no matter how you slice it up. It's not guaranteed that you will find someone -- but there are some easy steps you can take to help increase your chances of finding a girlfriend or boyfriend that can last a lifetime. Get started with these quick and easy tips to getting acclimated to dating as you travel.

A delicate kiss - Image courtesy of Chad McDonald / flickr.com

Tip #1: Start a Conversation

The first step to a great date is starting a conversation. Practice starting conversations with people ahead of your travels. It starts with a short conversation of small talk. You’ll be surprised how easy it is to continue talking to someone when you find easy and natural connections. So practice your conversational skills now. When you go out to a restaurant, challenge yourself to strike up a conversation with your waiter or bartender. At your hotel, practice small talk with the front desk staff. If you’re out and about in the city wherever you are traveling, practice talking to random strangers on the street. It’s true that this may be easier for people who are a little more extroverted, but with time, even introverts can learn to navigate small talk well.

Tip #2: Hang Out at the Hot Spots

Whenever you land in a new city, ask around to learn about the restaurants, bars and event places that you’ll need to check out. You want to ask locals for the best places because they really know where to go. And you want to go to these local hot spots not only for your own cultural development – especially if you’re only going to be in the city for a short amount of time – but because at these spots you’ll might find more people to talk to throughout the day and into the night.

Tip #3: Be Inquisitive and Genuinely Interested

Many people can sniff out people who are playing the field and who aren’t genuinely interested in getting to know a person. So don’t be that person. If you want to be a person who attracts a lasting, solid relationship, then you have to be willing to be truly interested in the other person. That speaks volumes. Ask more questions than you answer. Be inquisitive about the other person’s life, family, culture, passions and ambitions. Try to form lasting bonds of connection in the amount of time you have. You’ll feel better about the start of the relationship – and better about how you present yourself as a person and date.

Tip #4: Be Kind

If you want a kind person, be a kind person. This type of attitute is a key to successful dating as stated by Rachel MacLynn. This is especially important to remember when you are traveling – as there are many things that can go every wrong as you travel from one city to another. So make efforts to practice compassion with everyone you meet. You’ll not only feel better about your actions, but you’ll be preparing yourself for interacting with potential love interests. They’ll notice your attention to the heart and to their heart very quickly because it will become part of your (nearly) natural way of being.

Tip #5: Learn to Recognize Natural Connection

Dining with an asian - Image courtesy of Daniel Hoherd / flickr.com One mistake many people can make in the midst of dating while traveling is not recognizing natural connection when it is there. It is easy to get wrapped up in the emotions of a whirlwind romance, but that’s also something to pay attention to. If you can meet someone and talk long into the night, there’s a physical and intellectual chemistry perhaps you should be paying attention to. As you meet people on your travels, learn to recognize when you are drawn to a particular person over another. Keep this in the back of your mind as you date, as with practice, you’ll get better at recognizing it so you don’t waste your time.

Tip #6: Be Respectful

Especially when you are traveling abroad or to other domestic cities – you need to remember to respect other people and their cultures. It’s very common for Western travelers to think they know the best way because of all the conveniences and way of doing things in the United States. But it isn’t respectful to super-impose your way of life onto another person’s and to assume that person’s life and way of being is backward. Now you may not outwardly or obviously show this. That’s why it’s something that you’ll need to practice and to pay attention to. The more respectful you can be of another person’s culture, especially in Asia, the more the people around you will appreciate and respect you.

Tip #7: Know When to Move On

Listen, the bottom line is that you are not going to click with everyone -- no matter how much you pride yourself on being the person who can literally talk to anyone. Everyone has something another person finds annoying, and it's up to you both to figure out your thresholds and what your deal breakers really are. You cannot change people. Remember that and tell it to yourself often! Know when to cut your losses and move on. Life is too short to stay with a person who is entirely wrong for you. This can happen easily when traveling. You don’t want to become enamored with someone and find yourself flying back and forth to his or her city on trips – when ultimately, you know that person is not for you deep down inside. Pay attention to all of these tips above, and use these seven core tips as your dating toolbox when traveling. You’ll find that over time, each of these seven tips builds on the other to make you more self aware and the kind of person that other people do want to date.

Bonus Tip: Use Online Apps

Finally, while you are traveling, don’t be ashamed to download the most popular dating apps in the city where you will be spending some time. Domestically, you my have luck with dating apps such as eHarmony, Match and Tinder. There is a hierarchy of dating apps. eHarmony long as been known as a more “serious,” dating app – as it is a closed network and matches singles based upon a personality test. Match is also another good networking site, but you do have to be open to having your profile public. That means that even if you aren’t a Match.com account holder, anyone can open up the Match site online and they may see your profile. Tinder long has been known as a dating app for Millenials, but that doesn’t mean you cannot use it if you’re out of that age bracket. Simply ask around or check it out for yourself to see if you are finding singles who are in your age range/stage of life. You never know until you try. Click here to read how to successfully use Tinder. Now, a note on international travel: If you are going abroad, make sure you check in with locals or do your research ahead of time to see if singles are using those apps or if there is a better app you should try for the duration of your time in a city. You’ll waste less of your time and be in the know by just asking a few simple questions.

In conclusion, don't give up if you don't find someone in the first city you travel to -- especially is you're a travel bug for work or for pleasure. It takes time to find the right person, and you are doing your due diligence by taking your time and by being open to the dating process as it evolves. You may be disappointed and frustrated at times. But you also just may find love!

By following these quick and easy seven dating tips, you'll be on your way to searching and even finding love while you travel. It's important to remember that dating is never an easy process. It takes work. And it takes sincerity. If you approach dating while you travel as an opportunity to meet like-minded individuals that you appreciate and can have a natural connection with, then you’ll be in a much more healthy state of mind and will have more realistic expectations. Take it one step at a time, be culturally sensitive, and appreciate the people you meet throughout your travels. Good luck and we hope you find an amazing love while you travel!

What to Do If You Find Your Partner's Name in the Ashley Madison Leaked List



comments
by Fran Ralston | 11:41 a.m. | August 27th 2015

If your partner have been cheating on you, hopefully, they haven't been doing it through Ashley Madison. That's because their names have just been revealed to everyone who has Internet access, which probably includes you, your BFFs, your muscular big brother who's into CrossFit, your long-time nanny whose migrant family is rumored to hail from the Italian mafia, and whoever they agreed to be faithful to. For those who have been faithful in the relationship, what should you do if you find that your partner was using Ashley Madison?

Image courtesy of Flickr.com/photos/teakwood

Breathe A Sigh of Relief

Finding out that your partner has been cheating on you is the worst feeling in the world. However, at least you will know who your husband or wife has been sleeping with. Thank God, they're not with the babysitter, the nanny, your secretary, or your gardener named Jose. While you can always find someone new to share your life with, it's almost impossible to find reliable and trustworthy help these days.

Admit to Your Own Affair

In most relationships that involve two people who aren't on the same page anymore, both parties will eventually resort to having an affair. If you've been having an affair of your own too, this is the right time to come out of the closet. The if-you-can-do-it-I-can-do-it-too alibi will work perfectly well in this situation.

Look Forward to Your Payday

If you've been faithful to a T, you should have no problem getting the house, alimony and pretty much anything else that you want in the divorce settlement. Once your significant other has been outed as the cheater, the last thing he or she will want to happen is let the jury or the divorce lawyer know about it. Now you can laugh all the way to the bank, every time you try to blackmail, uh erase that, threat him to sue for divorce.

It Could Actually Be What Your Marriage Needs

On a serious note, finding out that your partner is on such a list could just be that he or she wanted to explore in the bedroom department. Maybe both of you could benefit from an open marriage, swinging or having threesomes with others who are looking for some variety in their sex lives. At worst, you now know that your partner isn't what you want and need, which means that you can start to look for someone who is better for you.

Image courtesy of marin at FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Take Advantage of the Guilt Feeling to Get Your Own Way

Assuming that your cheating partner is willing to salvage any type of relationship with you and your children, you can guilt him or her into taking the kids while you are having fun somewhere. It is important to note that you should only leave children with an adult when it is safe to do so. Otherwise, you might have to opt for a staycation or send them to your parent's house for a few days.

Make Your Own Fantasies Come True

Have you had a thing for that red-haired woman next door or for the Starbucks barrista where you get your coffee each day? Now is your chance to make your move for real. If you have ever wanted to have sex on the beach without ordering at the bar first, you have the freedom to do so without any strings attached.

If you find that your partner has been using an infidelity website behind your back, it is not the end of the world. You will eventually find someone who loves you while your partner will try to get you back when his or her latest fling is over. As an added bonus, you know that the next person to commit to can't possibly cheat on you using the Ashley Madison website.

Struggles Only Filipinos Who Date Foreigners Will Understand



comments
by Joanne Derecho | 10:09 a.m. | May 28th 2015

'mnez5' photo courtesy of zandroj, used under a Creative Commons licence
The Filipino-foreigner pairing is really nothing new. The Philippine shores have always played host to a wide array of foreigners throughout history – Chinese, Malays, Indonesians, Spanish, Japanese, and Americans. These people were so enthralled by the beauty of the Philippines and its peoples that they found themselves wanting to stay and conquer more than just farmlands, spices and pearls.

If you don’t believe me, all you have to do is drop by one of the foreigner-frequented Starbucks in the upscale Greenbelt mall and watch interracial couples pass by the dozen. Some of them look like typical couples while some have crossed that line into the unconventional. But, truth be told, these Filipino-foreigner couples always get a second glance from the gossips who delight in speculating about strangers' romantic lives.

Despite the occasional jeers, perhaps some of these gossip girls and folks just want a Caucasian man (or woman) to call their own. We all know someone who knows somebody who knows a foreigner. Talk to any relative of yours who has a co-worker whose cousin's brother-in-law's friend knows some Irish man who's looking for a Filipina date. It's a long shot, but let them set you up on a blind date and see where it goes. If that doesn't work, there's always online dating.

 

Foreign Affairs

At first glance, a Filipino dating a foreigner seems strange. Some Filipinos would consider you either lucky or odd if you're dating a white, black or Latin man. Others would even see striking similarities between going out with a Caucasian and winning the lottery, but that perception couldn’t be any farther from the truth. As someone who went a step further and actually married an Italian man, I can tell you that it’s just like a walk in the park – the Jurassic Park.

So that you don't go around cultivating strange (and false) ideas, let me enlighten you to some struggles and misconceptions that only a Filipina dating or marrying a foreigner will understand:

1. Food is such a big deal to us Filipinos that it sometimes seems as if we're always so consumed by thoughts of what to eat, and where. If you find yourself scoffing at this, get back to me when you're actually living with your white loverboy, eating salad instead of lechon kawali (crispy pork fried to arteries-clogging perfection) for breakfast. All is well when you're on a date with your Italian lover, and he takes you to fancy restaurants to impress you. That is, until you actually live with him and find out that all he wants to have for breakfast is a shot of espresso. You, on the other hand, want to wolf down a plate of tapsilog (sliced beef over rice, with fried egg) which, in turn, makes him nauseous just looking at it.

I have always considered myself well-adjusted, having spent ten or so years working in a cruise ship surrounded by a lot of different nationalities, but still, this experience did little to dampen the shock I experienced when I first moved to Italy. I love Pizza Hut as much as the next Filipino, but I can't eat a family-sized pizza in one sitting the way Italians do.

Image courtesy of Gio Campecino and Mr. & Mrs. Perrett

2. Learning each other’s language might not be a big issue when you're still dating, but it will be important when you meet his family who speak only Italian, or Chinese, or Hungarian. You wouldn't want to be the only one in the dinner table who’s always wondering if they have already sold you to the highest bidder. They say that lovers only need the language of love to understand each other. Whoever said this must’ve been on crack, because unless both of you can understand each other over at least one language (for example, English), the so-called language of love would be nothing more than gibberish.

3. White people usually have a very big personal bubble, and we Filipinos have very little to none. They like a lot of space in everything they do, while Filipinos don’t need as much. So don’t be surprised that he might not be very receptive to the idea of hitting the mall (or anywhere else) with your tribe, or be very receptive to being sandwiched between your uncle Daboy and cousin Caloy.

4. I'm not sure if it’s a warped sense of colonial mentality, but every time a Filipino sees a fellow Filipino with a foreigner, they immediately think that the Filipino half has hit a gold mine. It can be difficult to convince someone that unless these white people came to the Philippines in a yacht or a private plane, chances are, they are not rich, and their struggles to get through life are just as real as everyone else's.

5. For ladies who are wondering, it's true what you've heard: most white men are uncut down there. The uncut version of a penis might come as a shock, so for those who have made it to third base, don’t be surprised when he pulls it out and it looks like an unpeeled banana – that’s just how it is. Don’t worry, the extra layer of skin doesn’t take away anything from the performance. 

6. Not all white men are old and creepy. I know this stereotype is pretty hard to break considering the myriad of really old white men going around with women who are young enough to be their granddaughter. While this May-December affair is certainly none of my business, it certainly doesn’t help me and those who have partners who are only four or five years older. But the next time you see an old man with a woman who looks young enough to be his granddaughter, also consider the possibility that she might be a colleague or a friend, or, you know, actually his granddaughter.

7. It’s a struggle to break through the misconception that I, a Filipina, is only after a foreign passport as a means to a better life. Some Filipinos are definitely guilty of this, but I am not one of them. A green, red, blue or off-white passport holds no appeal to me, at all.  

Image courtesy of Gio Campecino and Mr. & Mrs. Perrett

8. Depending on your arrangement, you can decide to live in his country or he can live in yours. Regardless of whoever lives in which country, you can be sure that there will be a lot of adjusting and adapting. If you find yourself experiencing winter in a country where snow is a natural occurrence, the newness will eventually wear off. Soon, the novelty of having to wear a fur coat to go to the corner store to buy vinegar won't be so fabulous once you've really settled in your new wintry city.

9. As someone who has to do 'expat duties' on a regular basis, I couldn't think of a more tedious task than lining up in the embassy in my best clothes, with documents weighing more than myself, and trying to convince the consuls to let me in their country. To top it all off, there is the added work of lining up in the immigration office with all the other immigrants to get a permit. It makes me feel like I arrived in their country in a refugee boat.

 

Interracial Daters Gonna Date

In the end, having a relationship with a foreign man (or woman) is not that different from being in a relationship with someone of your own race. Choose somebody who makes you laugh, someone who will accept you for who you are, especially if who you are is someone who would eat slabs of crispy pork for breakfast.

Whether you choose to be somebody who is brown, black, white or blue, relationships are hard work. It takes commitment, patience, sacrifice and, sometimes, a valid passport to make it work. If it means you have to eat salad like a goat every so often, then so be it.

Matchmaking Chronicles: Interview with Matchmaker Rachel MacLynn



comments
by Patricio | 4:50 p.m. | April 7th 2015

Matchmaking dates back to as early as 1600 and single people's dating and relationship needs since then haven't changed much hundreds of years later. In the library of Cupid, we asked fellow professional cupids about their process, their most memorable matchmaking moments, and why matchmakers still matter. They also serve some really practical advice for those who are seeking eternal romantic bliss.

Previously, we featured Michele Fields, Julie Ferman, May Hui, and Caroline Brealey.

For five years, Rachel MacLynn specialized in the selection and leadership development of senior executives. As Managing Director of The Vida Consultancy, she is now focused on selecting dates and leading a team of matchmakers in developing romantic prospects for successful professionals. Unlike Meredith Brooks, Rachel MacLynn's 'one-hit wonder' reputation is marked by an early successful foray into matching a major client with the love of his life, which then continued with a trend of multiple matchmaking 'hits'. In this interview, the London-based matchmaker and founder of The Vida Consultancy shares her company's approach to matching and some insights on what type of lady Prince Harry ought to be paired with.

Image courtesy of Rachel MacLynn

Matchmaking seems like one of the most exciting professions there is. Have you always seen yourself as a professional cupid? What made you decide to become one?

I always knew that I wanted a career which involved helping people. To be honest, I didn’t even know matchmaking existed as a profession, when I started out in my working life.

I’ve always been fascinated by the human mind and behaviour, as well as in business, so I completed a degree in psychology, followed by a Master’s in Business Psychology. After several years of practising as a psychologist, I realised I particularly enjoyed working with people on a one-to-one basis. I became curious about life coaching and through this, matchmaking caught my eye.

When I first spotted a job advert for a matchmaker/psychologist, I had butterflies in my stomach. It felt like the job was just perfect for me. I’ve been matchmaking for nine years and running Vida Consultancy for four. It excites me how much the industry is blossoming and I’m honoured to be working alongside the Matchmaking Institute, to develop and raise professional and ethical standards amongst new and existing matchmakers, in what is thus far, an unregulated profession.

What are the most important factors to consider when creating a match?

At Vida, we consult our clients throughout the entire process. We fully respect their viewpoint, but we’ll also contribute our own expertise and insight, as vital ingredients which must go into the melting pot. We recognise that what a client says they want in a partner and what they actually need can be very different. So, when creating a match we always consider the following factors and adopt the same stringent approach with all of our clients:

  • Profile the client, to establish their core values and aspirations.
  • We also explore what attributes relating to each ex-partner contributed to the success and failure of the relationship.
  • We review and discuss what the client says they want in a partner, then redefine this to build a profile of their ‘ideal partner’, based on shared values.
  • We then search for profiles that most closely fit this ‘ideal’ description, focusing predominantly on these shared values, then considering factors such as age, appearance (physical attractiveness is particularly important to men!), intelligence, whether or not they have or want children, etc.

Who are the best candidates for a matchmaking service? Why do you think certain people turn to matchmaking to find a partner?

Most people come to a matchmaking service because they don’t have time to find a partner on their own; they’ve exhausted other avenues of finding love and they want to meet someone of a high calibre. Above all, they turn to us seeking to be imbued with hope, and fortified by our affirmation based on our extensive experience, that there really is someone ideal for them out there, with whom we can help them find and connect, to form a fulfilling partnership.

However, not everyone who approaches a matchmaker would make a suitable client, so the best matchmakers will quickly ascertain just who the best candidates are, and consequently only work with these people as clients.

Is there a specific trait that prevents someone from being successfully paired? Do you have some requirements for your clients?

Within Vida, we apply the following rules of thumb when we meet potential clients, as criteria for accepting them:

  1. They must be relationship ready, ie., have an open and willing attitude, requiring no more than a few parallel coaching sessions, if necessary. Matchmakers aren’t therapists, so if a client has been traumatised by a past relationship experience, for example, we advise that they seek independent support to deal and process such factors, before we take them on as clients.
  2. Their personal expectations must be realistic. We agree the general parameters under which we would be searching for a partner, before any commitment to joining is made on the part of the potential client.
  3. The profile of their ‘ideal partner’ must fit within Vida’s network. Every matchmaking agency deals with a certain demographic and geographical area. We specialise in finding life partners for exceptional people who live cosmopolitan lifestyles.
  4. They also must approach the matchmaking process with a positive attitude. Matchmaking is an emotional process, with many accompanying uncertainties. It can feel like a relationship minefield. We have a much higher level of success with clients who possess a positive mind-set towards matchmaking, and to finding a partner in general.

Rachel MacLynn enjoying tea with fellow senior matchmakers (Image courtesy of Rachel MacLynn)

In what ways is professional matchmaking more effective than online dating?

Online dating misses the human element of assessing compatibility. It focuses on the outside in, with Tinder being a key example of this. Whilst Tinder is hugely successful for those whose objective is simply to find a hot date, exclusive matchmaking is much better suited to those who are ready, and fully-committed, to finding their life partner. In the same way that you turn to consultants to advise on other important areas of life (where to invest your money, personal trainers, etc.), matchmakers can share their view and expertise on subjective factors such as values, a match’s behaviour, and so on.

Any unforgettable matchmaking anecdote you would like to share?

I’m nick-named amongst my team of matchmakers as “the one-hit wonder”. I hit instant success just a few months into running Vida, with a very high profile client who was seeking his life partner. He married the first person I introduced him to. I realised through this, the importance of not only really listening to a client, but also working together to redefine the ‘ideal profile’. I’ve since successfully matched many clients with their first or second introductions, recognising that, provided the core values are aligned, other factors such as age, location and physical attributes don’t necessarily have to be exactly as defined at the outset. When it comes to finding true love, the rule book often goes straight out of the window!

How does being a cupid-for-hire affect your own love life? Do you apply the same rules and matching techniques to your own dating habits?

I’m very lucky to have met my fiancé a year before setting up Vida. Being a matchmaker has taught me a lot about how to maintain a healthy and happy relationship. When I met Jamie, I realised for example, that it would be important for him, as the man, to take the lead as we danced through the dating phase. We communicate with each other as best friends, we laugh constantly and we both understand that to maintain our current levels of contentment, we need to focus on making the other person happy, rather than on our own selfish demands. I’m pleased to say that after nearly five years, we’re still madly in love and I don’t ever see this changing!

Is matchmaking as fun as it looks or is the stress level equal to that of a neurosurgeon? Would you recommend professional matchmaking as a career option?

Overall, matchmaking is loads of fun! I’ve an incredible team at Vida and we work very closely together, constantly supporting each other. When a matchmaker puts together a successful match, we usually do a victory dance around the office! But like any job, there are stresses and strains, too. Matchmaking is very subjective and dealing with people’s personal lives means there are a huge number of given variables at play, at any one time. It’s particularly painful having to tell a client that a match doesn’t want to meet them. We feel the disappointment almost as keenly as the client does.

I’d definitely recommend professional matchmaking as a career option to anyone who genuinely wants to help people find true love. Matchmaking should be seen as a vocation, not as a money spinner. For the industry to continue growing, it’s critical that matchmakers work to a pre-determined, high level of ethical and professional standards.

How much do you charge for your service? Are there significant differences in rate? Some matchmakers are more expensive than others, but differences in fees aside, what makes your services special?

Our fees start at $15,000 for one year, and increase depending on how much bespoke searching is required. Our service works particularly well for successful men and women seeking a search either locally in London, or a full international search. At Vida, we’ve a network of thousands of singletons, in many cities throughout Europe, the USA and the Middle East. We don’t advertise, so are proud to have grown our network through word-of-mouth. This has maintained the exceptionally high quality of our profiles. 

Image courtesy of Rachel MacLynn

If you were to pick a popular figure to match, who would you pick and what kind of date would you set?

I’d love to match Prince Harry – once he’s ready to find his life partner, that is! Like his brother, I think he’d suit someone who’d feel comfortable moving in aristocratic circles. However, this lady would also need to be grounded, compassionate and ‘real’. I’d look for someone with the values and likability of both Princess Diana and the Duchess of Cornwall.

If there’s one piece of advice you’d have for singles who are looking for a partner, what would it be?

Before you start looking for your life partner, you absolutely must get yourself into a good place in your own life. The better you feel about yourself, the more easily you’ll attract the right person and the greater will be your chances of enjoying a permanent, mutually rewarding relationship.


To find out more about Rachel MacLynn's services:

Visit her site - www.thevidaconsultancy.com 

Like The Vida Consultancy on Facebook - www.facebook.com/TheVidaConsultancy 

Follow The Vida Consultancy on Twitter - twitter.com/VidaConsultancy 

Drop by her company's LinkedIn page - www.linkedin.com/company/the-vida-consultancy  

Matchmaking Chronicles: Interview with Matchmaker Caroline Brealey



comments
by Patricio | 6 p.m. | March 27th 2015

Matchmaking dates back to as early as 1600 and single people's dating and relationship needs since then haven't changed much hundreds of years later. In the library of Cupid, we asked fellow professional cupids about their process, their most memorable matchmaking moments, and why matchmakers still matter. They also serve some really practical advice for those who are seeking eternal romantic bliss.

Previously, we featured Michele Fields, Julie Ferman, and May Hui.

Image courtesy of Saskia / saturdaynightsalright.comNothing is more rewarding for a matchmaker than seeing singles she paired turn into a happy couple. Being awarded an iDate award for stellar matchmaking work probably feels just as gratifying, and Caroline Brealey is one of the few who would know exactly how that feels. This week, we feature the founder of UK-based Mutual Attraction, a professional matchmaking and introduction services that prides itself for its bespoke approach to matchmaking.

Matchmaking seems like one of the most exciting professions there is. Have you always seen yourself as a professional cupid? What made you decide to become one?

I often joke there is no degree to be a matchmaker, though wouldn’t it be amazing if there were?!

Becoming a matchmaker isn’t something I ever thought of doing. In fact, my background is in children’s services, in particular children with complex needs. There were two reasons why I became a matchmaker: firstly, I recognized there wasn’t a matchmaking service that appealed to me at the time – a young, smart woman who wanted to take a proactive approach to dating. Many of the services were geared towards older women or at least, I perceived them to be old-fashioned. There were no matchmakers who didn’t say how ‘exclusive’ they were and how they only worked for ‘refined’ people and the wealthy. The seed was planted, and after hearing about a friend's terrible experience with a high-end matchmaker (second reason), I started doing some serious research. To cut a long story short, a few months later Mutual Attraction was born!

What are the most important factors to consider when creating a match?

Because each person we work with is so different, what’s going to be really important for one person won’t be for another. For that reason, it’s down to the matchmaker to really get to know their client, understand what makes them tick, and get to the crux of who they are searching for.

We always look at certain topics such as values, morals, energy levels, interests, goals, plans for the future, views on family, deal breakers, holidays, what their friends think, and how they define themselves (good and bad!). Because we meet everyone in person, we also like to imagine the scenario of two people on a date. What would they talk about? How would they be dressed? Where would they go? It’s really helpful for us to visualize two people on a real date.

Who are the best candidates for a matchmaking service? Why do you think certain people turn to matchmaking to find a partner?

I think people who use a matchmaking service are switched on to the fact that it is a great way to meet like-minded people in a safe and time-efficient way. Mutual Attraction members are busy Londoners. They’ve often done the whole online dating thing (which totally works for some people), but find they aren’t meeting the right type of people. When time is precious, it’s a bit soul-destroying giving up your free evenings after a long day at work to find that within two minutes, the person in front of you is not right for you at all. We’ve all been there, right?!

The best candidates for a matchmaker service are:

  • Open-minded
  • Want quality, not quantity (if you want three dates a week, you’ll be better off using online dating)
  • Willing to really get to the bottom of what it is they’re searching for in a partner and relationship and more importantly, why they’re looking for it
  • Open to feedback, suggestions and working with a matchmaker closely
  • Happy to take themselves out of their ‘typical dating zone’

Image courtesy of Saskia / saturdaynightsalright.com

Is there a specific trait that prevents someone from being successfully paired? Do you have some requirements for your clients?

We don’t have specific requirements as each person who comes to us is so different that they can’t be put into a box. We do, however, ensure that all our members are actively looking to meet someone for a committed relationship as opposed to a bit of ‘casual fun’, shall we say! We also work with professional people who live life to the fullest.

I often use the example of work. We work with the type of people who, if they were unhappy in their job, they would make changes, wouldn’t sit around feeling sorry for themselves, and would take action. They are dynamic, intelligent go-getters!

In what ways is professional matchmaking more effective than online dating?

The key differences are that matchmakers:

  • Meet everyone in person so people can’t fib about things like their height!
  • We take time to really get to know all our members, they aren’t just a ‘profile’.
  • We do I.D checks so we know the people are really who they say they are.
  • We only work with people who are actively looking for commitment.
  • Are trained and can get a real feel for people – something a computer can’t do.

Put those things together and you have a recipe for more compatible matches!

How have dating apps such as Tinder changed the matchmaking industry?

I think dating apps like Tinder, which are all about looks, create a difficult dating environment for everyone – unless you’re super hot! I completely understand its popularity, but isn’t judging a potential life partner by one photo a bit ridiculous? What smart person would do that? The impact is we create a shallow dating society where people are more interested in how you look than what you’ve got going on in your brain (or a least a combination of the two!). I find that quite sad and I hope people don’t get caught up in the ‘game’ of it.

I find that more and more people are moving away from using dating apps if they are serious about finding love. Apps can be great if you want to have a bit of fun, but for those looking for a committed relationship, it can be a bit of a challenge to suss out who is serious and who is with their work buddies having a laugh!

Any unforgettable matchmaking anecdote you would like to share?      

I was working with a client who wasn’t sure whether she wanted to meet the guy I had matched her with. After lots of ‘He’s amazing, give it a chance, it’s just coffee’ kind of conversations, she agreed (and I did a little dance!). Thank goodness she said yes because they are now married and are starting a family!

Is matchmaking as fun as it looks or is the stress level equal to that of a neurosurgeon? Would you recommend professional matchmaking as a career option?

Matchmaking is a fantastic career, but I have to hold my hands up and admit I thought it would be more of a straightforward career than what it is. Just getting a matchmaking service off the ground takes huge amount of work and time, particularly to build up a network. If anyone out there is thinking of becoming a matchmaker for an easy life, then all I can say is… don’t do it! But, if you’re prepared to put in some serious leg work and truly want to help people find love, then it’s a very rewarding career.

I am lucky to coach and support matchmakers in their journey through my matchmakers training program and one-on-one mentoring. You’ll be seeing more and more matchmakers emerge as the industry grows.

Image courtesy of Saskia / saturdaynightsalright.com

How much do you charge for your service? Are there significant differences in rate? Some matchmakers are more expensive than others, but differences in fees aside, what makes your services special?

A 3-month membership with Mutual Attraction is an investment of £3,900 + vat. For that, we do what most matchmakers do in a year in three months. We quickly realized that people don’t want year-long memberships where they meet one person a month – it’s a long time to wait! Our members are professionals who are looking for love now. Why meet your special someone in a year when you could meet them now?!

Mutual Attraction is the only London dating agency to have won the prestigious ‘Best Matchmaker’ iDate award and we were also the 2014 winners of the Matchmaker of the Year award at the UK Dating Awards. We keep our members at the heart of everything we do. It’s easy to go off on tangents and offer lots of different services within your matchmaking package, but we keep our focus on matching clients with compatible like-minded people. Our job is to help introduce people to the love of their life and that’s exactly what we do.

If you were to pick a popular figure to match, who would you pick and what kind of date would you set?

Love this question! I would absolutely love to match Taylor Swift; I think she is completely misunderstood.

If there’s one piece of advice you’d have for singles who are looking for a partner, what would it be?

Be proactive. If you're dating online, make sure you set aside time each day to do it. If you enjoy dating events, get your tickets early and put it in your diary so you make it happen. If you are matchmaking, then embrace it, take the opportunities to meet lots of like-minded singles. Whatever you do, get stuck in and approach dating with a positive mindset. Just think: your special someone is out there and you’re taking the first steps to finding that someone. :)


To find out more about Caroline Brealey's services:

Visit her site - www.mutualattraction.co.uk

Drop by her Matchmaker Training website - www.carolinebrealey.co.uk

Like Mutual Attraction on Facebook - www.facebook.com/pages/Mutual-Attraction

 

Check Cupid's Library's blog every week as we feature more matchmakers.

Everything You Always Wanted to Know About the Sugar Baby Lifestyle (But Were Afraid to Ask)



comments
by Jesse Quinn | 3:30 p.m. | March 24th 2015

Image courtesy of Marin / FreeDigitalPhotos.netIf life were a movie, playing the role of a sugar baby would probably be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. A sugar baby, after all, can only be played by women within a certain age bracket. Past that bracket, a woman begins to assume roles that is far from the glamorous posing that her youth once afforded her – mother, old maid, or cougar.

Thankfully, social roles and relationship dynamics are changing and becoming more complicated than that. Being a sugar baby, however, largely maintains its strict age demands and 'sugar relationships' rarely allow for any deviation. There is a reason why, in this still taboo relationship, the lady is called the 'baby' and the man is the 'daddy'.

Far from being the most aspirational role for women, the sugar baby persona is idealized in so far as  the lifestyle is associated with youth, beauty, and riches. With its promise of glittering luxuries, is the sugar baby life something young ladies in the throes of youthful verve and ambition yearn for?

What is a Sugar Baby?

A sugar baby is essentially a young woman whose company is usually coveted and paid for by an older affluent man. Like an actress who assumes a role and gets compensated for it, a sugar baby takes on certain relationship roles and earns from it, often handsomely.

Being a sugar baby also means being in a relationship: it requires commitment and comes with many duties. First and foremost, these girls have to look dazzling and desirable at all times. Sugar daddies are often prominent in their chosen fields, and their young partners need to be high class – or at least give the impression of being one. Their second task is to manage discretion. Finally, they must provide the desired forms of companionship that their sugar daddy needs. This refers to activities both inside and outside of the bedroom, or more likely, a hotel room.

A Glance at a Sugar Baby's Traits

'Sugar baby' conjures an image of a sweet young girl who may or may not even be in her twenties yet. The age range is flexible, but they are usually exceptionally young. Most ladies that live this life are in their 20s. Some may even start younger than that, but the legality of these circumstances is questionable at best. Still, underage sugar babies are far from unheard of.

Sugar babies often have other occupations. Some are strippers, and a few are bona fide prostitutes; however, it is worth mentioning that most of these women have professional careers outside of the sex industry. College students, secretaries and office workers are prevalent, and they already own the ideal starter wardrobe.

Physical attributes are exceedingly crucial. Not everyone qualifies to be a sugar baby as it requires certain assets, so to speak. Unless it is mandated by a specific fetish, sugar babies are rarely overweight. In fact, many sugar daddies demand the exact opposite. Anorexia is, sadly, not frowned upon, and it can be subtly enforced by the gifting of size zero outfits.

The Perks and Perils of Being a Sugar Baby

Anna Nicole Smith's life trajectory perfectly illustrates the fun and follies of being a kept woman. She married an octogenarian named J. Howard Marshall II whom she met when she was an exotic dancer at Gigi’s strip club in Houston. Being married to a billionaire afforded her a life of unimaginable luxury at the age of 26, and this decadent lifestyle ultimately killed her before she reached 40.

As Anna Nicole's early life will tell you, the sugar baby lifestyle can seem appealing for several reasons. Primarily, it is a means of accessing extravagance through intimate connections to those who belong to prestigious social circles and possess enormous fortunes. The luxuries are sometimes irresistible and fancy gifts are accompanied by glamorous vacations. Who doesn’t want a free MacBook, free MAC make-up, free Alexander McQueen ensembles, or even just a free Big Mac everyday?

Let's not discount the pleasure of being adored by a doting older man. These mature sugar daddies have all the wisdom and wealth a young girl could desire. Many ladies become sugar babies out of sheer adherence to pleasure principles, but let’s face it: these gals are in the minority.

Image courtesy of torbakhopper (used under a Creative Commons licence)

Sweet Deals of Being a Kept Woman

In truth, the advantages of pursuing life as a sugar baby are often pronounced. For most women pursuing only the sweetest of deals, the following freebies may be too hard to resist:

1. Become Sexier – Every little piece of a sugar baby's ensemble is meant to dazzle and shine. All of the presents culminate in a seriously boosted sense of sex appeal. Because a bigger budget automatically enables massive spending sprees, girls can don nothing but designer fabrics and diamonds. Gowns should cost at least a few thousands of dollars, and they are regularly custom fitted for a gal's personal proportions. Curvy dimensions will be enhanced with precision – accentuating the hips and the bosoms – to showcase to the general public, but the benefits are clearly all for the sugar daddy.

2. Travel the World – Sugar daddies need companions on their worldwide adventures, and sugar babies are much more likely to accompany them than wives and mistresses because they have less responsibilities or commitments. The private jet quickly becomes their equivalent of a hotel suite between countries. The destinations are endless, and some of them are uniquely exotic which can be attractive to certain young women.

3. Satiate Sexual Impulses – Some women are simply into older men. Silver foxes are abundantly available to eligible bachelorettes and there are well-tended places one can go to find them. Mild incestuous role-playing also enters the equation in a mostly harmless fashion. In the end, becoming a sugar baby is one of the most socially appropriate ways for women to satisfy their urges to be with mature men.

4. Live Glamorously – Being a sugar baby eliminates the challenges of climbing an economic ladder fairly. Lucky ladies, and even enterprising 'pretty women' (see iconic Julia Roberts movie), with all the right attributes and inclinations can jump straight to the top. There will never be a shortage of jewels, gadgets and clothing. Fine imports from around the world are placed at their feet when they find a suitable sugar daddy.

5. Pay for College – The notion that sugar babies are uneducated is a major misconception. In contrast, many of these crafty young ladies are actually planning for the future by using the money to invest in higher education. This is a smart way to avoid student loan debt, and it can be much easier than applying for scholarships. It is wise for a sugar baby to dedicate ample time to her studies; however, it can be tough considering the active commitments to daddy.

6. Leave Sex Industry – Some strippers become sugar babies in hopes to leave the club once and for all. Certain pros would gladly give up their profession to find financial security, and some porn stars would probably do the same. The sexual requirements are reduced alongside increased monetary and material gains. Even if a baby doesn't find her daddy particularly attractive, she is only dealing with one respectful fellow instead of large quantities of swarthy dudes.  

7. Look Younger – The side-by-side comparisons are always generously favorable for a sugar baby. An emphasis is placed on youthful appearances anyway, and many daddies prefer the childish side to be emphasized.

 

Dynamics of Sugar Baby Relationships

As great as the advantages are, keeping up with this lifestyle takes a toll on relationships kept outside of the sugar coupling. For one, the bond with a sugar daddy is unlikely to result in marriage. The entire affair is concocted as a temporary arrangement. This transaction just happens to include sex, and it is typically expected that feelings will be excluded from the relationship. Marriage can happen, but it is a rare occasion.

Since the long-term prospects are minimal, many sugar babies still pursue regular dating avenues simultaneously. Having a boyfriend on the side is possible, but it is especially challenging. If they are unaware of the arrangement, suspicions are bound to start mounting. The endless adornments are going to be impossible to conceal, along with their origin.

If a sugar baby's boyfriend is somehow okay with the arrangement, it can work, but he might start feeling like a pimp without the profit. The bottom line is this: don't drag an innocent party into this lifestyle unknowingly, especially if actual romantic feelings are involved.

Image courtesy of Marin / FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Handling Social Situations and Cultural Perceptions

Once a sugar baby has worked out all kinks between her and daddy, she has to figure out how to present her newfound “love” to the world. Ultimately, she will have to come up with a different explanation to satisfy everyone.

Family members can be the most difficult people to appease, and they can become very uncomfortable with the entire affair. If at all possible, she should not let her real dad know. Father and Daddy have absolutely no reason to ever cross paths. The real threat comes in the form of friends, especially acquaintances that are exuberantly youthful.

Gal pals could become bitter when they witness all of the grandiloquent gifts. If they don’t just outright try to steal another baby’s daddy, then these friends might resort to name-calling and ostracism.  Schoolmates and work associates are also prone to gossip, so never discount the possibility of having other sugar babies as friends and confidantes.

 

Rules for Keeping a Well-stocked Sugar Bowl

Getting involved in what is still widely considered as an unorthodox lifestyle, sugar babies would be wise to stick to certain rules, which are outlined below. (A sugar baby may not always abide by them, but it certainly wouldn't hurt being armed with the knowledge that for every misstep in what otherwise should be a performance, there are accompanying risks.)

Rule 1: Ladies should always present their own version of the contract. While it will rarely be accepted verbatim, it is an excellent way to establish general expectations and limits.

On occasion, unread written contracts can contain damaging stipulations that were missed during signing. In worst-case scenarios, a sugar baby can be required to return all gifts when the couple parts ways. This sucks, especially because all of the sexual favors are impossible to refund. The moral of this lesson: check the fine print at least twice, and make sure to factor in all possible interpretations.

Rule 2: Labels are important! A baby should be very careful to never call the coupling a union or marriage. It can rarely even be considered a real relationship although it most certainly is.

This lifestyle turns the female body into an economic commodity. This means that the two individuals are not considered lovers. They are more like business partners that get laid during the transaction. Still, money lasts a lot longer than a girl’s flawless physique, and daddy is not loyal to anyone. He is likely to trade for a newer model in time. It’s not that much different from the way men treat their cars, and a sugar baby can quickly become last year’s ride.

Rule 3: Two babies are normal, but two daddies are questionable.

If daddy doesn’t give his baby enough support, she may be inclined to look for more sugar. This can get her into a lot of trouble! Meanwhile, she must accept the hypocrisy of her daddy having multiple flings. (After all, these sugar babies probably met their sugar daddies in the same manner.)

Image courtesy of stockimages / FreeDigitalPhotos.netRule 4: Looks can be deceiving. Appearances are not the qualities a sugar baby should measure in her prospective daddies. Sometimes, handsomeness is even a bad sign.

The most attractive sugar daddies are making these arrangements for a different reason than their regular-looking counterparts; otherwise, they would be dating fine young girls on their own merit. These suave men are usually less than gentlemanly, and they often have bizarre fetishes to fulfill. They are mistaking this field for prostitution.

Rule 5: Emotions should never be involved with a sugar daddy. This may sound idealistic, but it is the best way to stay safe and desirable.

If you get in an accident, your sugar daddy will not be there for you like a real boyfriend or husband would. In fact, if the injuries lower a lady's physical aesthetics, the incident may result in a severing of ties entirely. The same is true of diseases. Basically, your financial situation will deteriorate right when you need help the most.

Some daddies also discard their toys after they start showcasing the first inkling of being clingy. Financial security often comes with acting nonchalantly, keenly attentive and horny. As a sugar baby, happy and horny shouldn't have to be only emotions to have, but having both certainly helps. In the words of Amy Winehouse, just “separate sex from emotion.”

Rule 6: No kissing! This rule can only be changed if trust exists and thorough discussions have taken place.

A contract can be specifically devised to make kissing acceptable behavior. Until agreeable terms for making out have been put into writing, doing the tongue tango should be fully forbidden. Even little pecks are a slight cause for concern.  

Rule 7: Multiple methods must be used to avoid pregnancy at all cost. The same is true of diseases.

For sugar babies, conceiving a baby instantly lowers value. It also displays a level of irresponsibility that is unfit for their distinguished position. Ultimately, girls may have to terminate pregnancy and relationship simultaneously. Daddy might not even help with the cost of an abortion, but other daddies force their babies to have one immediately. These are powerful men who cannot afford to have illegitimate pregnancies. Their methods of coercion are often tactless and forceful. A baby must bring the protection herself; otherwise, she will be without an excuse when the time arrives. He will not be likely to provide condoms unless he's a true gentleman.

Rule 8: Sugar babies must never make the mistake of thinking these men are harmless.

These older men often have political or social clout, and their financial means allow them to get away with anything. It is dangerous to be fooled by stature and age. Also, weapons and drugs can get involved. She has to be careful with what information is put into written communication. Any records that might be saved will come back later to haunt her. The same is true for compromising photographs and videos.

Rule 9: Sugar babies have to exercise regularly to maintain appearances, and they are likely going to do this alone. Their partner is too mature for rigorous routines, and gal pals have a propensity to gab and gossip too much.

The maintenance of perfection is an impossible feat. Age is almost always the primary aspect being considered. The inevitable is unavoidable. If 18 is what daddy wants, then 18 is what he will get every year.  

Rule 10: The importance of sex cannot be discounted. This is the glue of a sugar baby’s role in her relationship with daddy.

If she doesn’t bring the sugar, then she is just a baby. Not all sugar relationships require sex, however. Sugar relationships are hardly one-dimensional. In fact, some sugar daddies are content to pay hundreds of dollars just as long as their babies maintain decent grades, while some are happy just saving their foxy young companions from homelessness.  

Rule 11: Be prim and proper in public. Erotic undertones should be subtle.

It can be difficult to manage the early meetings. Potential sugar babies want to look sexy without revealing wealth or connections. The initial outfits should be classy, but minimal. These garments are often treated like a template that can be molded to meet his preferences over time. Low-cut blouses and high skirts are a mainstay of a sugar baby’s sultry wardrobe.

Rule 12: A sugar daddy’s kindness should never be undermined by flaunting flashy accessories that were not acquired from him.

This offense is already bad if a baby accidentally shows too much self-reliance, but the infraction is made way worse if the glamorous adornments came from another man.

Image courtesy of TaxCredits.net (used under a Creative Commons licence)

 

The Sugar Baby Life is Not Always Sweet

There are reasons why a sugar baby would leave the lifestyle behind. When all the ingredients that make a sugar relationship successful suddenly start falling apart, a sugar baby could quit and find alternatives for all the things that being a sugar baby has afforded her.

An ideal way out is through a caring romantic partner. Real love is known to transcend the struggles that a sugar baby endures, and an understanding boyfriend can make the transition much easier. While the money may be tighter, economics should not be enough to lure her back into the lifestyle. A sugar baby's life will never be the same, but it is possible that lust could lose to the heart.

They say that at the end of every rainbow is a pot of gold. At the end of every sugar relationship is a pot of cash and maybe a key to a brand new Honda. But before a rainbow ever appears, there must be rain – heavy, torrential downpour of precipitation. When a sugar relationship ends, and so do the sweets.

There are many reasons why a sugar baby would quit the lifestyle. Giving up sugar is not the easiest thing to do but doing so may in time prove beneficial. And as with most roles-of-a-lifetime, a sugar baby is bound to give her swan song when the time is right.

 

Do you agree with these sugar baby facts? Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments section.

Matchmaking Chronicles: Interview with Matchmaker May Hui



comments
by Patricio | 5:47 p.m. | March 20th 2015

Matchmaking dates back to as early as 1600 and single people's dating and relationship needs since then haven't changed much hundreds of years later. In the library of Cupid, we asked fellow professional cupids about their process, their most memorable matchmaking moments, and why matchmakers still matter. They also serve some really practical advice for those who are seeking eternal romantic bliss.

Previously, we featured Michele Fields and Julie Ferman.

Image courtesy of May Hui

Don't be fooled by the matchmaker's name – there is certainly no undesirable 'catch' with Catch Matchmaking. Partners May and Katie offer up only their intuition and expertise in pairing Los Angeles-based singles with their ideal match. If you prefer visuals to promises, you may want to refer to their Comparison Chart for the 'Catch Difference'. This week, one half of Catch Matchmaking May Hui tells us whom single people should keep as their dating coach and more importantly, whom they shouldn't.

Matchmaking seems like one of the most exciting professions there is. Have you always seen yourself as a professional cupid? What made you decide to become one?

I have always been fascinated with couples, dating, and relationships. I was always very nosy about people’s love lives, very into socializing and hosting parties, and into networking. I decided to become a matchmaker when I saw how much joy there is in bringing two people together. My parents have always set up family and friends, and with a lot of success. I guess it’s in the blood.

What are the most important factors to consider when creating a match?

It’s easy for singles to rattle off the things they want in a partner but as matchmakers, our job is to figure out who they really need, not who they want. Important factors to consider are long-term goals/vision for their lives (i.e., want kids, religious preference, marriage, etc.), compatibility, and interests. Two people who are marriage-minded are going to treat dating a little more seriously. It’s not necessary for both of their common interests to be exactly the same. What matters is if there is potential for them to learn from each other and want to try other activities.  

Who are the best candidates for a matchmaking service? Why do you think certain people turn to matchmaking to find a partner?

Best candidates for a matchmaking service are people who value their time more than money. The ones who have no trouble meeting people of the opposite sex but just not meeting quality, vetted matches. Men in their 30s and up make the best matchmaking clients because there are so many single women out there for them. People come to us because they want someone to do the work for them, screen for them, and vouch for them.

A lot of people aren’t great at bragging or talking about themselves, and let’s face it, dating is a little bit about selling who you are to the opposite sex. We get them the first date and get his foot in the door. The rest is up to him to be a good dater and put his best dating foot forward. The best candidates are the ones who are realistic with who is seeking him. If he is open to dating up to ten to fifteen years younger, he is seeking someone who is in the same shape as he is, and he is open-minded and adventurous with meeting all types of women. 

Is there a specific trait that prevents someone from being successfully paired? Do you have some requirements for your clients?

Someone who thinks he's entitled to hot women just because he can pay for a service usually would not successfully be paired off during the time he's with our service. Some men think they can be rich, bald, and not charming and still get the 9s and 10s but that is just not the way things work. Women have expectations, too. Even though women don’t pay us, we still have an obligation to them to set them up with the men they are seeking. We are not one of those services that would send our women out on blind dates to fulfill the man’s agreement just because he paid us. We want to make sure the women are meeting the men they want to meet.

May Hui guest's appearance at LA Talk Radio (Image courtesy of May Hui)

The requirements we have for our clients are simple: they want our help, are not still married, have open lines of communication with the matchmakers, and treat us matchmakers with respect. Just because someone has money doesn’t mean he can treat matchmakers poorly. If we like him, we want to work hard for him and want him to find someone. If he treats us poorly, chances are, he will treat the dates poorly, and who wants to send him out if he is not a good dater?

For you, what type of man/woman is the hardest to match?

The hardest type of women to match are the ones who used to be attractive when they were younger. They had a lot of people vying for their attention. Now that they are older, they have this distorted image that they are still the hottest one in their age group, although they are not. They are very picky and no one is ever good enough. Women who make a lot of money usually want a guy who makes more money than her. They want the CEO types, but the CEO types are not looking for a wildly financially successful type A woman. They do not want boardroom in the bedroom. They want a nice, sweet, feminine woman who is caring and wants to take care of her man.   

In what ways is professional matchmaking more effective than online dating?

Professional matchmaking can guarantee you dates; online dating does not. You can be emailing tons of women and get no dates. A professional matchmaker vouches for you and pairs you up. An ethical matchmaker should take your money only if they know their database has people to match you up with. An ethical matchmaker knows his or her database very well. If you’ve been in this business longer than five years, you know who is looking for whom – there are no more surprises. It’s not being judgmental or jaded. A professional matchmaker can zero in on who you are, whom you need, and with whom you would best be matched. It comes from many hours and years of experience, and it’s intuitive. 

Online dating is not intuitive or has the human touch to make matches for you. Online dating is great, but if you don’t have the time for it, it can be a huge time-waster. When you hire a professional matchmaker, you are basically taking a shortcut. It doesn’t mean you are desperate or lazy; it just means you want to be more efficient, you want to enlist the help of someone who specializes in dating, and you want to cast a wider net to find The One.

How have dating apps such as Tinder changed the matchmaking industry?

Tinder and other apps alike are great for dating if you are an attractive person or can be photogenic. If you can spell and use grammar correctly, that is a plus. Those types of apps are like fast food dating – they might not be good, but they get the job done.

Those apps haven’t really changed the matchmaking industry because people who are drawn to those types of fast food dating are not the same clientele as matchmaking clients. The costs between the two are different – free or less than fifty bucks a month versus thousands of dollars. If anything, some might get so frustrated with apps dating that they might try matchmaking services later.  

How does being a cupid-for-hire affect your own love life? Do you apply the same rules and matching techniques to your own dating habits?

I think if I were single again, I’d be a great dater and know that I wouldn’t be single for long. Looking back, I was not very open-minded when it came to dating. I did some of those idiotic things that women are doing today: bringing a friend to go on a date, not answering phone calls because I was no longer interested in seeing him again instead of telling him we are not a match, or declining a date because he was one or two inches shorter than my ideal height… I can go on and on.

Being a matchmaker has made me realize just how many great men and women there are out there. To say there are no great guys or gals out there, is just BS. You have to give people a chance and find reasons to go out with someone again versus finding reasons not to. If every single person out there applied this rule, there would be more people paired off. 

Is matchmaking as fun as it looks or is the stress level equal to that of a neurosurgeon? Would you recommend professional matchmaking as a career option?

Matchmaking is as fun as it looks when you are taking clients that you genuinely know you can match and are excited to match. Where matchmaking gets stressful is when you take on clients who you have no business taking on. Sure, sometimes you need to take on clients to pay your bills, but after learning that lesson, it’s just not worth it. My business partner and I learned early on that it’s not worth the stress to take on someone you can’t match. If you go to sleep at night and worry about a client, then that was not the right client to take money from. Stress level does get high when a client says one thing in the interview but when it comes time to send him out on dates, he changed all or some of his criteria.

I definitely would recommend professional matchmaking as a profession. We actually train people to start their own business in matchmaking. We want to teach lessons from all the mistakes we’ve made so they can take a shortcut into becoming the best matchmaker they can be in a shorter period of time.

How much do you charge for your service? Are there significant differences in rate? Some matchmakers are more expensive than others, but differences in fees aside, what makes your services special?

Our prices range from $3,600-$10,000. It depends on how selective a client is, the search criteria, length of search, and the scope of the work. Our women are attractive, intelligent – the whole package. The clients we work with are realistic and normal who are seeking love and trying to find the one. We offer them personalized customer service. If we can’t help them, we will refund them. We are not here to take their money and not deliver on what we promised. If we make a mistake, we will own up to it and apologize. Our services are different from other services because we work with the career guy next door, not the millionaires who are seeking someone 20 years younger or all model-type women.

May Hui and Catch Matchmaking co-founder Katie Chen at the Dating Industry & Internet Dating Conference (Image courtesy of May Hui)

Men, for a free consultation, contact us at (310) 876-2291 or fill this out: http://catchmatchmaking.com/contact-us/. Women, join our private and confidential database for free by registering here: http://catchmatchmaking.com/online-profile/

If there’s one piece of advice you’d have for singles who are looking for a partner, what would it be?

Fire your single friends as date coaches. Ask a married friend who’s been married over 10 years for dating advice. The married friend with years under her marriage belt should be your go-to dating advice person, not your single friend. Relationships take work and has lots of ups and downs. Your married friend will know that and they will be the ones to give you the best advice. Unfortunately, your single friends want you to be single with them and commiserate in your single status. They are giving bad advice because they are single!


To find out more about May Hui's services:

Visit her site - catchmatchmaking.com

Like Catch Matchmaking on Facebook - www.facebook.com/catchmatchmaking

Follow Catch Matchmaking on Twitter - twitter.com/CatchMatchmaker

Visit their YouTube channel - www.youtube.com/user/CatchMatchmaking

 

Check Cupid's Library's blog every week as we feature more matchmakers.

Matchmaking Chronicles: Interview with Matchmaker Julie Ferman



comments
by Patricio | 3:53 p.m. | March 13th 2015

Matchmaking dates back to as early as 1600 and single people's dating and relationship needs since then haven't changed much hundreds of years later. In the library of Cupid, we asked fellow professional cupids about their process, their most memorable matchmaking moments, and why matchmakers still matter. They also serve some really practical advice for those who are seeking eternal romantic bliss.

Last week, we featured Michele Fields.

Image courtesy of Julie Ferman20,000 clients. 1,100 marriages. 23 years. If these numbers are not enough, allow us to explain: Julie Ferman Associates have 20,000 Southern California clients, is responsible for 1,100 marriages, and has 23 years of matchmaking experience. This week we interview its founder, Los Angeles-based personal matchmaker and dating coach Julie Ferman.

Matchmaking seems like one of the most exciting professions there is. Have you always seen yourself as a professional cupid? What made you decide to become one?

I’ve always been obsessed with romance, dating and love. My earliest memory is sitting at the end of my driveway, on my little blue tricycle, all dolled up, waiting for…. The Prince. I found the search for my real prince not so easy, so I enlisted help. I joined the local video dating service in 1990 in St. Louis, my home town. It was a fun adventure, and as fate would have it I ended up marrying the guy who sold me that membership, the owner of the agency. I asked him out initially and the engagement was what he calls “a conversation that got out of control”.

Who are the best candidates for a matchmaking service? Why do you think certain people turn to matchmaking to find a partner?

The matchmaking clients we’ve been most successful with are those who are thoroughly desirable – nice looking, presentable, accomplished, but also open-minded and realistic, with a sense of humor and a joie de vivre. In fact, the people who are most likely to “do well” in dating, to begin with.

Is there a specific trait that prevents someone from being successfully paired? Do you have some requirements for your clients?

Whenever someone is overly picky or fussy, hypercritical by nature, tending to see what’s wrong versus what’s right or lovely in another person – this is usually a recipe for failure with matchmaking. This type of person’s relationships often fail too, as who wants to be picked apart every day? I ask my coaching and matchmaking clients to practice noticing what’s nice and lovely in other people and in circumstances in general. Being positive and open is something we can indeed learn.

For you, what type of man/woman is the hardest to match?

A woman who’s hypercritical or overly focused on superficial, less than critical elements, and who vetoes the very men who are indeed interested in her – the men she actually has “a shot at” – this is the type of woman I tend to avoid taking on as a matchmaking client, as her criteria is often not in line with reality. A man who shoots out of his league – targeting women who are typically not interested or attracted, or a man who insists on dating women who are more than 10 years his junior. Both are too tough a search and usually end up with disappointment. I don’t like to set my client up (or myself up) for disappointment, so I’m very selective and careful about who I invite to become a matchmaking client. 

Julie Ferman with fellow dating coach Marni Battista (Image courtesy of Julie Ferman)

In what ways is professional matchmaking more effective than online dating?

I am very often able to get my Client out on Date Number One, Two and Three with the type of person who would likely “veto” him/her online or at a party. I’m able to “pitch” the client with my hearty recommendation. Great people “miss” each other all the time out there in the world. Matchmakers are here to make sure that doesn’t happen.

How have dating apps such as Tinder changed the matchmaking industry?

Occasionally I’ll hear of a relationship that started on Tinder, but mostly I’d say the applications have HURT dating, as it leads people to judge superficially, quickly, to dismiss lots and lots of people who might actually be a lovely fit, if looked at more closely. It furthers the tendency to objectify and categorize quickly based on looks. On the other hand, it might give some people who tend to shoot out of their league a dose of reality.

Are women better matchmakers than men? Are there differences between how men and women pair up two people?

I’d say that women are typically better suited to the profession, as we tend to be more relationship-oriented. But I know some great male matchmakers – they often have a more direct approach and can get away with saying things that women might be chastised for saying.

Any unforgettable matchmaking anecdote you would like to share?

I’ve had 1,158 marriages that I know about, since 1990. My favorite was getting both a father AND his son married. I got to attend both weddings, and the dad gave me a generous gift. That was magical.

How does being a cupid-for-hire affect your own love life? Do you apply the same rules and matching techniques to your own dating habits?

Yes, indeed. I’m much nicer to my husband and tend to apologize often. We both practice the art of communication and turning toward each other when times get rough. We see what it’s like out there and we’d rather take good care of each other than try to find a suitable match out there in the jungle.

Is matchmaking as fun as it looks or is the stress level equal to that of a neurosurgeon? Would you recommend professional matchmaking as a career option?

A matchmaker has to be a jack-of-all-trades; both a business professional/entrepreneur and a service-oriented coach. Efficient and productive and also caring and sensitive. We need to be very, very good at managing our boundaries and our time, otherwise it easily becomes an 80-hour a week job. When I do EVERYTHING well, it’s fun. When anything falls apart, it’s not fun at all. It’s definitely a juggling act, and you have to love yourself first, so you can stay sane for the other people in your life, both clients and friends/family.

If there’s one piece of advice you’d have for singles who are looking for a partner, what would it be?

Place yourself strategically where you can be found, by registering with your local matchmakers. Don’t know how to find them? Register with us and we’ll help you get connected. Also, develop your Romance Marketing Plan – email me at Julie@JulieFerman.com and we’ll send you a template. And one other thing… practice looking for what’s right versus what might be lacking or missing in the people who are around you, especially the people who are approaching you, expressing interest. Practice loving yourself and practice kindness all day long. Kindness is sexy.


To find out more about Julie Ferman's services:

Visit her site - www.julieferman.com

Like Julie Ferman Associates on Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/JulieFermanAssociates

Follow @julieferman on Twitter - https://twitter.com/julieferman


Check Cupid's Library's blog every week as we feature more matchmakers.

Tweet