If we are asked what the most important thing in life is, dating and relationships are going to be the answer for so many people. It is human nature to seek relationships with others. Some may do it for fun and some do it to create a new life.
There are not many people in the world who can give better dating advice than top tier dating coaches. They are professionals possessing masterful skill in dating and flirting with all types of people. Not just that, they are best at interpersonal skills as well as philosophy and sociology.
Because of their knowledge, these dating coaches are well-known for bringing a successful dating life to their clients. Our dating coach for today's interview is Sheri Maass, an experienced dating coach who received various dating coach certifications as well as a Master Practitioner Certification in the Energy Leadership Index from iPEC. She has been providing relationship success to her clients based on her over 25 years of personal relationship experience and eight years of being a professional dating coach.
Sheri is also the founder and director of Women’s Networking group in Milwaukee and Madison called “Professional Women of Wisconsin Networking” with thousands and growing numbers of women members.
Let's hear what she has to say about the life of a dating coach.
What life experience made you decide that you would like to be a dating coach?
I’ve known since I was very young that this is what I was meant to do. Even as a young girl, classmates would come to me at recess to talk about their crushes and ask for advice and guidance with the little boys chasing them around the playground. It never really felt like a decision – more like a purpose.
What was your dating life like before you became a dating coach?
My dating life was very active. I learned a lot about myself, about what I want/need and about dating in general. It was one of the most fun and frustrating times in my life but the education through that experience is partially why I am so good at what I do. I called myself a “serial dater”- having one date after the other in order to learn more about behaviours, attraction, communication and connection. By the end of it all I was an expert before I even began my professional training.
How does being a dating coach affect your own love life? Do you apply the same rules and matching techniques to your own dating habits?
As a love coach, my husband is very aware of the techniques I use and we both actively participate in applying everything I teach to my clients into our own relationship. I believe it is important to always “date” your significant other – no matter how long you’ve been together.
What is the most important thing when giving relationship advice to your client?
The most important thing is to really know my clients; who they are, their likes and dislikes and what their needs and goals are. I always make sure to customize my coaching to fit each client. What may work for one may be a disaster for someone else. That being said, I do believe the most important thing someone can do before starting a relationship is to become very self aware; know what you want, know what will compliment you and know your non-negotiables.
What is the most asked question from your client? And why?
The most common question is “How do I know when I’ve found the right one?” This is a hard one to answer but, in general, you will just know. There is usually a sense of relief and comfort when you meet. The ONLY way to get to that point, however, is through self awareness. Many people who haven’t taken the time to get to know (and love) themselves can find themselves thinking they “know” but, eventually realize the person is not a good match for them. If you are in alignment with who you are and know what you want – you will just “know”.
Do you have some requirements for your clients?
My clients need to be willing to put in the work. My programs are not for those who just want a little help here and there – they need to be willing to put in the time and energy to make this happen. They also need to be willing to dig deep and shift some significant beliefs and negative thought patterns in order to set themselves up for success.
Is there a universal strategy that works for all dating advices?
I hate to sound like a broken record but becoming self aware is key to a successful dating life, relationship and life in general. Once you are on a path to self-awareness it is important to, not only, accept yourself for who you are, what you’ve done and what you want, but also really love yourself. True confidence comes from being fully comfortable with the wonderful uniqueness of who you are – “flaws” and “quirks” included!
Also I must add the importance of being safe while dating. Take precaution before giving out your personal information or agreeing to meet. 1. Get to know them via phone before meeting them in person (texting alone is not enough). 2. Try to verify that they are who they say they are and that they are telling you the truth (Search them on social media and Circuit Court/Public Records sites) 3. Drive separately. 4. Tell others where you will be and who you will be with. 5. Always – always trust your gut. If something doesn’t feel right – don’t continue.
Is there a specific trait that prevents someone from having a successful relationship?
There are quite a few actually. However, one consistent problem I see in failing relationships is an unwillingness to take responsibility and admit faults. Instead, blame becomes prominent which causes resentment and frustration. Fondness and appreciation then dwindles which inevitably breaks down the relationship. This pitfall can be overcome if each partner asks themselves “what can I do different to make this relationship better?”
How have apps such as Tinder and online dating sites changed the way of dating?
Dating sites and apps have completely changed dating as we know it today. Like with most technological advances, there are positive and negative consequences. One positive is we now have quick, easy access to millions of singles at our fingertips. We have the ability to consider so many different characteristics, interests, personalities and beliefs without leaving our couch. This is a great way to consider what you want and do not want before even contacting anyone. This is also a great way to recognize that our world is so big and that there are plenty of options out there. This recognition eliminates many people’s limited perceptions of what is available.
The negative, however, can also mean so many options...how do we choose? This can cause a “grass is greener” mentality leading many to fear commitment – always holding out for something better that may come along. Now there is nothing wrong with desiring to just date around for the rest of your life if you feel perfectly content doing so. It is, however, a problem when you fear commitment – which can actually become subconscious turmoil and can manifest negatively in other areas of your life.
If there’s one piece of advice you’d have for singles who are looking for a partner, what would it be?
Get to know yourself, then love yourself. Don’t expect someone else to do that for you. That’s quite a responsibility for someone else to carry. You are unique and beautiful and love is always available to you. You simply need to choose to see it and be it.
Our dating coach interview does not end here. Check back our blog next week and read the dating and relationship advice from UK top dating coach, James Preech. And don’t miss our last week interview with Deni Abbie as well :)