First dates can turn out to be a wonderful surprise or an unimaginable nightmare. While it’s impossible to control all the variables, here are some do’s and don’ts anyone can use to give a first date the best possible chance of success.
Do Your Homework
How much do you really know about your date? Prep work can give you a vital head start to having an enjoyable time. There’s no reason to cyber-stalk someone, but checking out their social media or online dating profile can give insight into their sense of humor, taste in films, books and music. If your date is a friend of a friend that can even be better. Finding out common likes and even dislikes in advance can help to keep the conversation going and avoid awkward silences.
Dress for Success
They say clothes make the man or woman. How you dress will depend on what you’ll be doing, the venue and the weather. Regardless of that, one of the most important things you can do is wear clothes you are comfortable in. This doesn’t mean to break out the sweat pants and ratty old sneakers. Instead it does mean that any under and outer garments fit well and comfortably so you will not have to make constant adjustments and be distracted. Being at ease in your clothes will keep you from feeling self-conscious and let you focus on enjoying yourself.
Cleanliness - Nothing Beats It
Hygiene is something everyone takes for granted until they’re stuck on the subway next to someone who obviously never showered after their last work out. If at all possible, give yourself enough time to shower, style your hair, brush and floss your teeth, use deodorant and apply a light amount of fragrance, if desired. Fragrance can be a wonderful and sensual way of expressing yourself to those close to you. It’s also a great idea to carry some breath mints with you in your pocket or purse.
It can be tempting to try to be all things to all people all the time, however that is exhausting, dishonest, and can never last. It’s best to be yourself. Be honest about things you like, what you believe and don’t be afraid to tactfully express your opinions. It’s definitely better to find out early in the game if you have genuine differences that would preclude you from wanting to pursue a relationship.
Remember, this is a time to get to know someone and to let them get to know you. Enjoy yourself. Be the kind of date you wish to have. Keep your sense of humor and try to go with the flow. Things don’t always go the way we plan. Long restaurant waits, sold out movie theaters and bad traffic can put a damper on anyone’s mood, but finding the funny side of life’s quirks can make any date more enjoyable for you both.
It’s a date, not an episode of Married at First Sight
Do not go into the evening expecting Prince or Princess Charming to be your soul mate. Keep your expectations reasonable. This is a time to get to know someone new, someone you may or may not want to see again. It’s great to go in with a positive and optimistic attitude, but be realistic. No one wants or needs the pressure of thinking about (let alone talking about) how many kids they’d like to have or where they want to have a wedding ceremony.
A Date Isn’t Therapy
A first date isn’t the time to give someone your entire life story or talk about how Mom and Dad loved your brother Dave more and didn’t buy you the bicycle you wanted for your eighth birthday. Save all of that for your best friends and therapist. This also isn’t the time to pull out your resume and review all your previous jobs and which of your bosses were ogres. Talking about your life and job is fine but be sure to inquire about theirs. Make sure the conversation is a two-way street and not a one-way diatribe. Keep the conversation light and lively.
Wait a Minute, Who Are You?
This is not the time to try and create a whole new persona. If you tend to be introverted and a little shy, don’t try to be the extrovert who wants to dance on tables. Don’t try some extreme hair color change or the newest makeup trend if it isn’t you. Don’t let your nerves get the better of you and consume more glasses of wine than you can handle. Few things are less attractive than someone who is sloppy-drunk. Remember, be true to yourself.
Put That Phone Down
Technology can be a great tool for meeting people. You may have even met your date online, but during the date put your phone away. Few things are more annoying than trying to have a conversation with someone who insists on checking their phone for texts, emails and messages every few minutes. If you absolutely must check your phone or take a call, excuse yourself and do it as discretely and quickly as possible.
End of the Date Dance
Do you want to see this person again? If so, then it’s perfectly fine to let them know how much you’ve enjoyed your time together and that you’d like to meet again. If, on the other hand, you know this is someone you could not bear to spend another second with, then don’t lead them on. Sometimes promises are made to call or text that leave the other waiting and wasting their time. It is kinder in the long run to be tactfully honest and admit you don’t think you really hit it off. Some first dates are meant to be last dates and that’s okay.
However your date turns out (to be the first of many or the worst night of your life), you can know you did your best to make the evening as successful as possible. If you dont have someone to date yet, find one from these dating sites!